


Prepare the Iron Helm of War

by amassingeffect (Furorscribiendi)



Series: Helm, Sword & Shield [1]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, James Vega POV, Mild Language, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2018-11-04 16:04:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 66,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10994292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Furorscribiendi/pseuds/amassingeffect
Summary: Former Lieutenant James Vega fully expected to vanish away into the dirt and grit of Omega. He never expected an Alliance Admiral to set foot on the rock for his sorry ass.





	1. No Place Like Omega

**Author's Note:**

> This story is completed. It's about halfway edited now. And I decided to start posting it because I am one of those people who "forever edits" and never gets around to posting. So this is me not doing that. It will all eventually be posted, just can't set a schedule because life is wonky and likes to eat into my editing time as much as I wish it didn't.
> 
> This story starts from the Mass Effect: Conviction comic and runs the 6 month span that Shepard was held on Earth for, with mentions of the events of Paragon Lost.

“Enough!”

James’ fist paused as the word cracked through the fight like a sniper shot. It also helped that an actual shot ricocheted off the ground beside the batarian’s head. That would be enough to break up any fight. Red blood was slowly sleeping from their crushed nose and their eyes were glazed over in a daze. He chanced a glance behind him, trying to see through his own bloodied eye. There was an imposing figure, the familiar shape of an M7 with a smoking barrel in their hand. He could barely make out the Alliance blues with gold trim and bars. Shit. He looked back at his now clear eyed and terrified opponent. He made a dismissive sound, shoving them to the ground as he got to his feet.

“Lieutenant James Vega you’re a hard man to find.”

The man’s face was still shadowed but that was a voice he knew all too well. Admiral David Anderson, here on Omega for who knew the fuck why. Or maybe that batarian had landed a few good hits in and he was imagining this because why the hell would Admiral David Anderson be on a backwater shithole like Omega? Sure, people tried their best to make a life here. But it seemed that for every person that did that, five more were here trying to vanishing away into its seedy underbelly. 

Not that it wasn’t lack of trying on James’ part. After Fehl Prime, it felt more and more like some charade he was continually failing to live up to. So yeah, he bailed as soon as he could. Did his best to just disappear and wound up here. Omega was as good a place as any to try escaping from the past and its ghosts. It had worked for a while, being hired muscle for venues, cardsharking every so often. But rumours came every once in awhile, like an unchecked fire.

Commander Shepard was on Omega. Aria had Commander Shepard on a leash of some kind. Commander Shepard singlehandedly killed Archangel after wiping out a veritable army of Eclipse, Blue Suns and Blood Pack mercenaries. She also apparently wiped the floor with some vorcha squatting down in some district somewhere, at the behest of Mordin Solus.

James bore it all with stride, bunch of rumour, nothing more. Commander Shepard had been KIA and was not coming back. He was pretty sure if he ever ran into this so-called “Commander Shepard” he’d have something to say to them. But the longer it went on, the more he listened and was pretty sure that this Commander Shepard running around? They were quite possibly the real deal. A lot the rumours seemed to involve Shepard cleaning house somehow and making life a general pain in the ass for mercenaries, just like she had before. Not to mention the infamous Normandy being her vessel still. Then the insane rumour that Shepard ran a mission through the Omega-4 relay and came back before hopping off to do something in batarian space. When his damned poker buddies had started slagging off on Commander Shepard after that story about Bahak aired, yet again…

Needless to say, former Lieutenant James Aldemo Vega was not having a good night.

The man stepped forward into the dingy streelight and no, James wasn’t hit too hard on the head. That was definitely Admiral Anderson staring him down and looking immensely displeased. James wiped at the blood on his eye with a sniff. Couldn’t really fault him for that. Then again, James also didn’t particularly give a shit at the moment. But still boot camp drilled in some lessons to the core.

“Admiral Anderson?” that was about all the politeness he could muster.

“Dust yourself off and follow me,” Anderson’s tone was curt. “That’s an order.”

James blinked as he saw and felt drops of blood on his eye again. Damn cut was bleeding like a stuck pig. He wiped at it again, watching as Anderson turned, expecting him to follow. After a moment, James did. What on earth could have dragged an Admiral all the way Omega for his sorry ass?

“Where are we going?” He fell in step beside Anderson, wiping at his bleeding brow.

“I’m taking you back for more training.” Anderson explained as they turned a corner to a waiting skycar.

That made James pull up short and snarl out, “What the hell for?”

Anderson was probably showing more patience that he felt, gesturing to the waiting seats. At the silence, James settled for sullenly plunking himself down on a seat. Maybe he had a medi-gel pack in one of his pockets. He fumbled for one, finding a small blister pack as Anderson got in the car and keyed in its destination. The astringent smell burned at his nose for a moment and he smeared some on the cut. The rest of the car ride was a painfully awkward silence, at least it was to James. It was only when they arrived at their destination of the docking bays and were out of the skycar that Anderson spoke again.

“It’s time you got over the incident on Fehl. Time for you to be the soldier we expect of you.”

Those words set James’ stomach to churning. He had people to protect, a whole colony and they all died because of him. And for some absurd reason, they commended him for his actions, pinned a medal on him and recommended him for N training.

He was a piss poor excuse of a soldier. 

“No disrespect sir,” James knew his tone said the exact opposite. “But I’d rather not get over it.”

“You’re a damned fool if you think I’m gonna let a soldier as good as you piss your whole life away in this shithole,” Anderson’s expression was livid and his finger was damned near stabbing at James in his arm. “You’re coming with me to Earth. Now.”

That tone right there would have made his _abuela_ proud. If it weren’t for the uneasy churning of his stomach, James probably would have fallen in line. It wasn’t so easy to forget just why he left in the first place.

“Forget it. There’s nothing for me there.” James spat out.

“I’ve got something for you. Something you haven’t had before.” Anderson sounded kind of smug now as they approached a docked ship

_Dios_ , Anderson was gunning for something but damned if James could figure out what. “Just throw me in the goddamned brig and be done with it.”

Anderson paused in front of a docking ramp, an amused snort preceding his words of, “You’re not far off lieutenant. Only, you’ll be guarding the brig. One prisoner in particular.”

That made James stop, trying to make sense of what Anderson meant by that. His brows furrowed as he glanced up finally, seeing the bright white word of ‘Normandy’ emblazoned on the ship with the ‘SR-2’ tucked right beneath it. Holy fuck…

“Commander… Shepard?”

He fell silent as he entered the airlock with Anderson. The door closed behind them as the decontamination cycle started up. How in the hell did this happen to him? Decorated officer like Admiral David Anderson were not supposed to pick drifters like him for positions as crucial as this one. As soon as the inner door opened, Anderson was talking.

“You’ll be her guard once we arrive on Earth and in charge of her security details. Any requests she has, she submits to you and you forward them to me. I’ll have your clearances through with a solar day,” Anderson made a thoughtful sound. “At the moment, she’s holed up in the Loft and isn’t coming down, so that’s easy for you. This is also your probation. Screw this up and I’ll be even more upset with you.”

“You caught me brawling on Omega, sir. Can’t be worse than that.”

“You could have been drunk, brawling on Omega and murdered someone.” Anderson fired right back. “Get down to the med bay on level 3 and have Dr Chakwas take a look at you. The starboard observation lounge is on the same level and were quarters, so you can bunk there until we arrive back at Earth. Is there anything you need retrieved from Omega before we go?”

“I can…” James trailed off at the flat-out ‘No’ he saw in Anderson’s expression. He dug into his pocket for his keycard. “Apartment block I, level 3, section 4, number 67.”

“I’ll send someone to retrieve your things.” Anderson tilted his head to the elevator. “You have your orders.”

“Sir.” James nodded with a quick salute before turning to go.

At least the elevator wasn’t slow like almost every other one on an Alliance ship. Huh, come to think of it, this wasn’t an Alliance ship. Seemed like some part of the rumours were true. The Cerberus logo was one that was becoming all too familiar to people in certain places. He walked into the medbay to find a grey haired head bent down over the desk.

“Just have a seat over there,” a hand gestured perfectly to an exam table. “I’ll be with you in just a moment.”

That crisp way docs had of speaking. It always managed to convey a sense of, ‘Just do as I ask and this will be a lot smoother for everyone.’ James had just settled down on the table when the chair was pushed back and he found himself looking at an elegant older woman who had raised an eyebrow in question.

“Lieutenant James Vega ma’am. Admiral Anderson sent me down to be checked over.”

Somehow, that brow quirked up just a bit more to say, ‘I see’ before she introduced herself. “I’m Dr Chakwas. I’d ask what happened but I suspect the other person came out worse for wear.”

James just settled for a shrug as she turned on the scanners and got to work. Not that it took her very long. It seemed like she’d just fired them up before she was stepping back.

“Well, you’re lucky you’ve got no concussions. That cut on your brow will scar up a bit. You just slapped the medigel on.”

“I’m okay with that. Clean bill of health then?”

“You can go for now. Tomorrow morning be here bright and early at 0700. You need a complete physical and bloodwork done.”

“Yes ma’am.’ James nodded before he left the med bay.

It was a short walk to the starboard lounge. The room was huge, the wide window flanked by curving couches. The current view of the Omega docking port wasn’t what he wanted to be looking at right now. James hit the shutter button fast, the lights flickering on as it closed. There was a neat bed tucked away in the corner up against the bulkhead, with a small shelf with a stack of books beside it. He went over and sat down. Being in the private sector must have had its perks because the bed didn’t feel like the standard issue concrete slab. Boots were shucked off as he stretched out, mind drifting. With no clock in the room, and too tired to bother with his omni-tool, it seemed oddly soon when a buzzer sounded at his door.

“Lieutentant.” A pokerfaced marine held up a duffel with his few possessions.

“Thanks.” He took the duffel and was grateful to have the door close automatically.

James dumped it at the end of the bed, with every intention of going through it to make sure everything was there. But being up for a shift and a half bouncing at some club, followed by the card game then a brawl and now this… Just when exactly the thought of, ‘fuck it’ crossed his mind as he stretched out once again, James wasn’t entirely sure but he wasn’t going to fight it.


	2. Expect the Unexpected

In the entire time it took the Normandy to get from Omega to Arcturus, James only saw Shepard once. But he heard plenty before he even laid eyes on her, because scuttlebutt was always rampant on a skeleton crew. She already had a guard, someone she’d managed to run off in two days before electing to hole up in the captain’s quarters with a supply of her own food. When James took the elevator up the the captain’s cabin, the red glow of a locked door greeted him along with a note neatly taped upbeside the door.

The solid print of ‘ _Arrest Stipulations_ ’ didn’t bode well. He was supposed to be calling the shots here, not her. And reading over the list… fuck, James just took it down from the door and went back to his quarters. Reviewing dossiers, clips and stats for putting together a possible security squad was way easier. If Shepard had to get from point A to B, he sure as hell wanted it to be more than him, given all the hype that was building up around her. James wished he didn’t feel tired as he looked over the list, brow furrowing deeper as he read through it.

  1. Provided accomodations are to be: 1 room with a bed, desk and a bathroom with the door to be left open at varying degrees dependent on usage.
  2. List of approved visitors 
    * _Garrus Vakarian_
    * _Kaidan Alenko_
  3. Any and all food/meal preparation is to be closely monitored by Lt. Vega before meals are delivered.
  4. What Commander Shepard eat, Lt. Vega eats
  5. Any requested materials to be inspected and approved before being provided.
  6. Reveille: 0800. Lights out: 0000.
  7. Lt. Vega is to receive priority voice access to provided quarters.
  8. Irregular check-ins through out the day, at Lt. Vega’s discretion.
  9. In crisis situation, will defer to Lt. Vega’s command.
  10. Provided room is not to be subjected to audio and or visual recordings
  11. Room is secured at lights out with the door locked; to be opened again by Lt. Vega at reveille.



This list smacked of paranoia to James. Hell, the last stipulation was the only one that made any damned sense. Anderson said that Shepard was essentially under house arrest and that it wasn’t to be as strict as the brig. Some degree of freedom was allowed which seemed to indicate a level of trust from the brass. 

It was almost as if Shepard took that, and threw it back in their faces, demanding her own austere measures. Hell, she even denied herself the limited extranet access she’d been granted. This had the whiff of politics all over it. James had keyed it all into the datapad with his files and decided there wasn’t a drink strong enough in the galaxy for the shit he’d probably have to deal with soon enough.

So, needless to say, when he finally met the Commander, it all felt a little anti-climactic. Not to mention she nearly scared the shit out of him.It had been straightforward enough, sleeping on the cycle Shepard had provided in her list though James was up an extra hour before hand. So when his alarm went off, with a day left to Arcturus, be been on auto-pilot. Wake up, get dressed, brush teeth, head to mess, eat a protein bar while water boiled for a cup of tea. Working on Omega left his sleep schedule haywire. If he had to watch Shepard’s meal prep like a hawk, he had to be more alert. Hell, it would take more time than he would probably like once the brass had decided on her holding location. Maybe he should be waking up earlier?

Rousing from his thoughts, James fixed up his cup of tea. He fished out the bag, dumping it down the recycler and taking a tentative sip of the hot liquid.

“ _Madre di Dios_!”

Shepard was on the other side of the kitchen island, a steaming cup in her hand. Her dark brown eyes were pegged on him, assessing the now massive stain of spilled tea on his shirt and pants. He did not hear her come in, hadn’t seen her at all. Where the fuck did she come from precisely?! Where the hell did she even get a hot drink? Her umber skin had a bluish sheen from the dim light, and the dark shadows that fell under her cheekbones seemed eerier with the glowing cracks of reddish orange. 

Honestly, James felt a little bit like prey. If he made a sudden movement, that was it, game over. It wasn’t too hard to see how she’d driven off the previous guard so quickly within 48 hours.

“Lieutenant.”

No, James would not cringe because he didn’t do a damned thing wrong. But holy hell, she sure made it sound like he did. Maybe this was Anderson’s idea of punishment for him. Brawling in Omega wasn’t supposed to lead to a plum job. Then again, everything he knew about Commander Shepard was what he knew from her public info and the legion of vids about her. She just said his rank and made him sound like a misbehaving kid.

Shepard turned and walked away, her footsteps easily heard. Suddenly James had a suspicion that she’d snuck up on him. If he didn’t know she was a soldier, he would have pegged her as an infiltrator. He made himself another cup of tea and went to change his clothes. He’d barely changed when his omni-tool pinged with a message to go meet Anderson. It was still a bit too hot as he gulped it down quickly and hurried over to Anderson’s office. Though when James walked in, Anderson frowned.

“You’re flushed.” Anderson seemed to be considering sending him back to the medbay.

“I’m fine, sir. Just downed a cup of tea before coming here.” James stood at attention, only sitting when Anderson gestured to the waiting chair.

“We’re making a brief stop at Arcturus in an hour. From there, we’ll be docking at the shipyard in Vancouver. Shepard is to be taken to Alliance HQ for processing and moved to an offsite location. I need your paperwork to process.”

“Commander Shepard had some additional stipulations, sir.” James said as he brought up his omni-tool to transfer the completed work. “I included it in the list. She wouldn’t ask for such stringent rules unless she had a reason.”

Anderson didn’t say anything as he pulled up the list on his datapad. His eyebrows slowly crept up as his gaze skimmed over the list.

“Well, what do you think? You’re her guard.” 

“I say implement them. There’s enough of a buzz out there about what she did in Bahak. It’s not going to be much better when we get to Earth I imagine. I know it’s short notice sir, but if the security squad I requested can be ready for moving Shepard once processing is done —”

“I’ll see to it,” now Anderson was looking at him. “Did you catch Shepard this morning? Heard she was out and about.”

“More like she caught me sir.” James admitted. 

“You’re calling the shots here, remember. When we’re at Arcturus, I’m bringing aboard a comm specalist. They’ll be setting up our omni-tools with an encrypted closed network for communication.”

Huh. Seemed like even Anderson was taking no chances with whatever. Maybe Shepard’s list wasn’t so paranoid after all. It was like a strange mix of basic cadet routine and high-risk prisoner. Present and accounted for at all times and extremely difficult to access.

Those rumours of her being Cerberus before cutting and running to the Alliance suddenly had a lot more credence if he looked at it in that light. It didn’t sit quite right with him, but it did make much more sense. Never let it be said scuttlebutt wasn’t good for something even if it was questionable. Given what James had seen of Shepard’s actions, it was probably more like she had no choice but to work with Cerberus and then bailed as soon as she could.

Anderson dismissed him once they cleared up the last remaining bits of paperwork. James kept himself scarce during docking, reviewing updated protocol manuals and more than a few saved articles about the circus that was developing around Shepard’s activities. Before long a buzz came to his door. When he opened it, there was a petite woman standing smartly at attention.

“Lieutenant Vega? Comm Specialist Traynor. I’m here to do an install on your omni tool, sir.”

“Of?” Little prudence never hurt anyone.

“Closed encrypted network for communication purposes, as per Admiral Anderson’s orders for your new duty assignment, sir.”

James nodded, motioning her to come in as he went to the desk and turned on the light. He undid the thin clear strip around his wrist and placed it on the table. Traynor nodded her thanks as she settled herself down at the desk and got to work. It didn’t take Traynor very long to finish up. James was only halfway through some new report about increased protests from the Batarian Hegemony before Traynor was in front of him.

“I’ve finished sir,” she was holding out the strip. “It’s good to go. If you have any questions I’ll be up in the CIC.”

“They brought you to the roster?”

Traynor nodded. “I’ll be helping to assist in the retrofit. I mean, the ship isn’t entirely up to standard. It’ll need some work before she’s up to Alliance standards. I mean, an armoury on the CIC deck?” Traynor made a scoffing sound before she paused. “Ah, sorry, sir.”

James waved a hand at her slip. “I’m not that formal. And I sure as hell won’t be on the ship much longer.”

For a moment, Traynor worried at her lip before she asked, “Is it true? That Commander Shepard is aboard? I mean, I had to do the install on another omni-tool when I did the Admiral’s. Whoever did it, did a pretty good job with the encryptions. Very quarian in style and I know that the Commander had a quarian on her team and —”

“Whoa, slow down. You can breathe for a start.” James held up a hand with a growing grin. “I’ve got an assignment and can’t go talking about stuff like this. Sorry.”

“Right yes. Sorry, sir.” Traynor apologised, a flush creeping across her cheeks. She cleared her throat before repeating, “As I said, if you have any questions, I’ll be up in the CIC, sir”

“Thanks.” James nodded. When Traynor just stood there, he added on, “Dismissed Comm Specialist.”

Traynor saluted before heading off. James fired up his omni-tool, looking over the messaging program. It looked pretty straightforward. But the little blue lock in the corner was replaced with the three green ones. Okay, really not screwing around with the encryption.

The trip from Arcturus to Earth took about two and a half days. In that time, he managed to straighten out his sleep schedule some more, got approval for his requested security team and still hadn’t seen anything of Commander Shepard. 

He didn’t see her again until the Normandy touched down in Vancouver at the shipyard. There was a great hustle as most of the crew debarked, some more than ready for shore leave, some to be taken into custody. He waited until the ship was mostly empty until before he went up to the Loft. He totally understood how it got it’s nickname. The lock on Shepard’s door was red but on a hunch, James spoke.

“Lieutenant James Vega, ID C3-33267040.”

The light switched to green. James sent a message to Anderson that he was bringing Shepard down before he took a breath and stepped in. Shit, the captain’s quarters were huge. To his right was a spacious desk, curving in a gentle L shape. The massive display case was full of model ships. There was a shelf with a glass cage and the beady eyes of a small hamster peering out at him from a little house. The blue light cast over everything came from the empty fish tank to his left, with a small flight of stairs down. He walked down them to find the neatly made bed in front and the couch to his right. There was a packed duffle and sitting right beside it was Commander Shepard. 

Well, not sitting precisely. She was half slouched down, legs stretched out on the small table in the middle. Her hands were folded on her stomach and her eyes closed. Great, she was napping. James frowned, remembering that morning from a few days ago.

“Time to go Commander.” He said, falling into parade rest.

Her eyes opened as her gaze slid to him. Her motion was fluid and she stood up, gesturing to the duffle.

“May as well check this now.”

James tried to get it over with as quickly as he could. He didn’t particularly want to be riffling through the Commander’s things. Standard issue clothes and something in a small velvet bag. When he opened it, it was a gold necklace with a small ball encrusted with diamonds and sapphires, with a gold band threaded on. When he glanced up at her, there was a hard look in her eyes and a tight jaw. Definitely a personal item she didn’t want to be parted from. For now, it would do. Processing would look over it and make sure nothing was wrong with it. He dropped it back in the bag and made sure it was drawn tight before rezipping the duffle.

They were silent as they left her quarters. The elevator came and dropped them off on the second level where the airlock was already open. Anderson was standing there, as was the requested five-person security squad. There was Milque’s sleepy looking expression, always with that smile. The other four squad members flanked either side of him, at parade rest. The good thing about the shipyard was that no protestors could get in.

James figured it was about mid-morning when they’d landed at the shipyard. By the time their shuttle picked them up, taken them to the detention center for Shepard to be processed and then to her quarters at another damned location for the medium security facility required, it was heading on late afternoon. James found himself wanting to yell some sense into some idiot somewhere. Either this whole thing was a ploy to get someone to lose their temper or the wheels of bureaucracy ground really fucking slow and with little sense. Why the hell do all these things at separate places instead of just the one?

By the time he dismissed the security squad and saw Shepard settled into her assigned quarters, James was more than ready for this day to end. Admiral Anderson had been watching it all, letting James run the show.

“Did good today,” Anderson said as the door finally closed. He seemed to be considering something before he added on, “Don’t gamble with Shepard either. She’ll clean you out of credits.”

At this point, if Shepard said more than five words to him, James might be truly shocked.

“Yes, sir.” James saluted. 

“All right, she’s had a few minutes.”

And with that, Anderson spoke his service ID and the door opened. He followed Anderson in, finding the room to be exactly as Shepard had asked for. One single bed, a desk against a far wall, with a shelf above it. There was a door to a bathroom that looked about as big as the ones on any frigate.

Shepard had abandoned her half unzipped duffel on the bed to salute. “Admiral Anderson.”

Anderson waved her off. “At ease. You been eating?”

“Sure.” Shepard shrugged.

“That’s not an answer.” Anderson tried.

Shepard shrugged again, her gaze settling on James. “New guard stuck around, I see.”

“Your last guard.” Anderson said pointedly. “Lieutenant James Vega will be taking over for Captain Alex Melikian.”

Shepard’s gaze lingered on James just long enough to be awkward. “At least you read my list and put two and two together.”

No need for her to know it took him about two days to realise that her list was pretty damned smart. He just nodded his head with a, “Yes ma’am.”

“If you have any questions Shepard, Lieutenant Vega can answer them. I’m going to go see what’s taking so long in arranging your representation.”

Shepard gave Anderson a quick nod of her head and then it was just him left in the room with her. What he didn’t want was to be stared at again. 

“Commander,” he saluted. “If you need me, I’ll be outside.”

A corner of her mouth quirked up. “No longer a Commander. Relieved of duty, pending the investigation.”

“That might be the case, but I still respect you,” James said. “The least I can do is refer to you by your rank.”

For a few moments, she didn’t say anything at all, merely regarded him. Finally, she asked, “What do you know about me?”

“Just your official info , ma’am. Stuff they put in vids. Some things I figured out from that and scuttlebutt.”

Shepard gave a derisive snort. “Scuttlebutt. Just what is it saying about me?”

“Permission to speak freely, Commander?”

“ _Not_ a Commander.” She repeated. “Speak as freely as you damned well please.”

For a moment, James hesitated. How many people got to speak freely around Commander Shepard? Precious few, so he probably wouldn’t be getting a chance like this again anytime soon.

“I’m not dumb enough to just believe what the scuttlebutt says,” James began.

“Humour me.” Shepard’s tone was wry.

“They were saying a lot of shit. That you faked your death and went into hiding before joining Cerberus. Maybe that you were a deep-cover operative and blew up that relay for Cerberus’ sake. Some others were saying that you blew up that relay to kill batarians because you’re some kinda secret racist. Heard that you used to be some kind of gangbanger, maybe that had something to do with it.”

“Clearly, I’ve been busy,” Shepard’s deprecating tone was a bit too vicious for James’ liking. “What do you think?”

“I think none of that idiocy jibes with your known service record. Commander of the SSV Normandy. Recruited a turian C-Sec officer, an asari archaeologist and some krogan bounty hunter for your team. Not too sure if you actually rescued a quarian or recruited one. But you did have a quarian on your team. Having that kind of team isn’t Cerberus’ MO, from what I’ve heard. So if you were working for Cerberus, you must have had a damned good reason, because those assholes are _muy loco_.”

Shepard snorted. “ _Es verdad_. You have no idea.”

Now James was staring at her. “ _Hablas espanol_?”

“If you don’t mind Lieutenant,” she turned away from him, facing the bed. “I’d like to finish unpacking.”

Right, there was a dismissal if he ever heard one. But still… impulse made him hesitate and ask, “Why _would_ you join up with Cerberus?”

Shepard’s body tensed before she turned to face him once more, jaw set. “Because I got stonewalled when I came back. I was dead for two years and all my warnings fell on deaf ears. I didn’t have Alliance support, I barely got back my Spectre status. Colonies were going silent and vanishing. A terrorist organization was doing more than my employer and I wasn’t properly set up to operate independently. So, I had little choice _but_ to work with Cerberus to investigate the disappearances of the colonies out in the Terminus System.”

James’ stomach was roiling at those words and he managed to scrape out, “Did you?”

“Investigated and resolved. No more colonies will disappear.” Shepard’s tone was final when she finished with, “Thank you Lieutenant, that will be all. I would like to get settled in now.”

James snapped out a salute and beat it from the room. A sick feeling was rising up the back of his throat and he leaned against the wall, steadily breathing for a few minutes before it vanished. He didn’t handle the loss of all those colonist well, he’d freely admit that. But when James heard that his intel had been rendered useless, it hadn’t helped his outlook much. How could such hard won, and rare, info be rendered useless.

Only if Commander Shepard eliminated the problem entirely.

That sick feeling was smouldering at the back of his throat again. Part of him wanted to go back and ask questions. How had she done it, did she even know that the Alliance had a scrap of info, that they knew of the Collector problem and were taking steps? Then again, if he stepped back into that room, Shepard just might tear him a new one. 

Hell, how many people answered a question they didn’t even know needed answering. With a hard swallow, James decided remaining on watch duty outside the door was his best bet. If there was anything he learned as a soldier was that tactical advantage was all about waiting for the right moment sometimes.


	3. Whetstone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hover over the Spanish for a translation. Also, feel totally free to correct me on my Spanish if I get something terribly wrong. Cause English is my first lanugage.

The routine was the first thing established in that first week. Shepard’s room was always inspected and locked down before she went to sleep. Not something she asked for, but maybe James was imaging the approving look in her eye as she watched him sweep through the room. When he showed up in the morning with a breakfast trolley, Shepard was already up, a bit damp from a shower and looking glowing and alert from finishing a workout.

Though on that very first day, she had actually said a grand total of five words to him: “I need these books Lieutenant.”

The request had been approved within two hours and when James showed up with their lunch, he had a datapad loaded up and ready to go. 

Shepard had thanked him and they had eaten in silence before she settled herself on the bed and started reading. For the rest of the week, whenever James checked in on her, she was stretched out on the bed reading. Or she was cross-legged on the floor, datapad in her lap and eyes darting back and forth as she read. Sometimes, she’d be conked out on the bed, fast asleep. Come to think of it, all she did was sleep, eat and read. Those seemed to be her primary goals.

The fact that her representative had yet to show themselves didn’t faze her. It sure as hell bothered James. She hadn’t been summoned to any sort of meeting yet. Just that perfunctory appearance from Anderson and then nothing. It seemed like the Alliance wanted her on Earth, safely away under lock and key. And also out of sight and mind, which is why she was no where near Alliance HQ.

James paused outside the door, breakfast trolley in front of him. It was nearly a week and a half since she’d been brought back to Earth. Man, he really hoped they didn’t bring her back just to let her rot away. 

He unlocked the door and there was Shepard, sitting at one end of the desk. The collapsible stool he brought that first day was set up already at the other end of the desk. She looked up as he came over, placing the trays onto the desk and reaching for the coffee carafe and cups. 

“Hot and fresh,” James declared as he settled down on the stool. “Cafeteria food here’s definitely lacklustre but still…” he trailed off with a shrug.

“Better than field rations.” Shepard said dryly.

Huh. This was new. It wasn’t simply, “Thank you.” But hell, James would take it. “Gotta love those meal bars that taste like cardboard.”

That brought a small grin to Shepard’s face as she took the lids off the trays and stacked them together on the trolley. Sausage links, scrambled eggs, toast and two pancakes that hopefully weren’t too doughy and more fluffy.

“You don’t like the lies they feed us? Choco peanut butter blast and summer berry blitz definitely taste like they thought about putting that stuff in.”

Now it was James turn to grin. This was it. It was official. Shepard was thawing to him. This wasn’t perfunctory talking. This was officially banter. He wasn’t egotistical enough to think she took a definite shine to him, but he must have been doing something right since she was now bothering to talk.

“Besides,” she picked up her fork. “I’ve had worse.”

“Worse being?” James chuckled at Shepard’s considering noise. “When you’ve had the best, you let me know. Sure as hell won’t be this.”

Mischief glinted in her eyes as she opened a jam packet and spread it on her toast. “The best being? _Cocina de tu abuela_?”

Now he’d heard it all. Commander Shepard definitely knew Spanish. She just teased him in Spanish. And she was definitely warming up to him cause,

“ _Estamos tuteando_? Flirtin’ with me isn’t gonna make me spring you from here.”

Shepard’s shoulder jerked as she inhaled sharply and started coughing a bit. James watched her for a moment as her lips pressed together, trying to fight the corners from curving up. No way…

“Are you trying to not laugh?”

There was silence for a moment as Shepard tried to get her expression back to something serious. Not that she succeeded. “Maybe.” The corners of her mouth were curving up.

James figured he could let it drop. But this Shepard before him was light-years away from when he first saw her on the Normandy. Maybe it was stress, being on the defensive and thinking who knew what? She did look far more rested now. Maybe she was feeling worn down before? Why the hell not, it’s not like the room was monitored and he’d come this far already.

“Well, you gotta resist all this _guapo_. I don’t need Anderson busting me down again.”

Laughter pealed forth from Shepard and James had to admit, it was nice to hear. He focused on his own breakfast now, waiting for her to compose herself once more. It took her a few minutes before she finally trailed off and picked up her coffee cup, snorting with amusement before she took a sip.

“Well, keep doing your job _sabelotodito_ , and we’ll be fine.”

Little smartass. Well, there was no faulting that observation. James shook his head as he considered something. 

“Is that why you ran off the other guard?”

Shepard gave a loose shrug. “I know what I did. And it didn’t win me any friends. I fully expect some shit to go down, so having someone who is competent at their job and not an condescending asshole makes things easier for everyone.”

“Fair enough.” James nodded.

They settled in to eat now and Shepard wasted no time. Her toast disappeared as she picked up her fork. James’ abuela said you could learn plenty from how people ate and he’d seen it time and time again. He’d always been an eager eater as a kid, always ready to rush back to whatever he’d be doing beforehand. It will still be there, even if you don’t rush, his abuela would laugh. _Despacio, mi osito._

There was a telltale urgency to how Shepard ate. The butter and jam were scraped on the toast and disappeared with alternating mouthfuls of sausage. The pancakes were cut with the fork as the toast vanished before the chunks were speared with bits of scrambled eggs. Add in washing it down with sips of warm, sweetened coffee and she was packing it away faster than him. Shepard used to eat quickly, going for the high-calorie stuff first. When she rested the fork on her now barren tray, James shook his head as he went to work on the remnants of his own breakfast.

“Damn Commander, you gave me a run for my money.”

“Well,” Shepard drawled as she topped up her coffee and fixed it up. “So busy now. Time is money.”

James huffed in amusement. “Need anything today?”

“Just some more books, thank you. I’m on the last one.”

“Shit, that fast?” James blurted out. Her last list had to have fifteen books on it. 

Shepard nodded as she brought up her omni-tool, sending him the list. James took a few more hasty bites before he pulled up the list. There were a lot of old looking titles, some were required cadet readings. Others he couldn’t begin to guess but he suspected they weren’t even human books. When he noticed Shepard was watching him still, James realised he hadn’t replied.

“I’ll take the datapad at lunch,” he sent the request to Anderson. “See if it’s approved by then.”

“Thank you.” Shepard gave a nod over her cup. “Can I ask you something else, Lieutenant.”

“If you’re gonna go tu-ing me, you may as well call me Vega.” James shook his head with a grin. 

“Okay then. _Tu abuela_ ,” Shepard had an amused expression. “What’s the best thing she makes?”

“ _Los mejores huevos rancheros_. You ever get out of here, maybe I’ll make you some.”

“I may just hold you to that, Vega.” Shepard downed the rest of her coffee and placed her tray on the trolley. “Gotta be time for the mess cart to be coming by.”

At least Shepard’s internal clock was right on the money. James collected up his dishes before wheeling the trolley out. Sure enough, there came someone from the mess and the trolley was taken away. He stood guard outside the door, sending off Shepard’s request to Anderson. It didn’t even take an hour for it to be approved. The morning slowly ticked by and when lunchtime rolled around, he went back in. Shepard was barefoot and walking up against the wall. 

“Uh… Datapad?”

She answered with a grunt, waving a hand in the direction of the desk. James picked it up, watching as she held her body taut, face flushed with exertion. If she was using her own body weight for a workout, she was going to be limited in how far she could go. And if she was doing it to keep her current physique, she would definitely need more. He fired off a quick request to Anderson while waiting for the elevator. Heading down to the mess gave him enough time to transfer Shepard’s requested books to the datapad. 

Lunch was simple today, easily carried up on a tray. Tuna salad sandwiches and fresh fruit cups with drink packs. They ate in silence again, Shepard’s eyes skimming rapidly over the datapad when he handed it back to her. But she acknowledged him with a flash of a smile rather than a terse head nod. When he collected the tray and left the room, he wasn’t expecting to see Anderson coming up along the hallway. 

“Lieutenant Vega,” Anderson nodded as James saluted. “How’s it been so far?”

“Quiet. Hoping it’ll stay that way for a bit longer.”

“You and me both,” Anderson inhaled slowly. “About Shepard’s request for gym time—”

James interrupted, “I requested that for her sir. She’s been working out with nothing. Figured some weights and machines would be helpful.” Seeing the surprise on Anderson’s face, he clarified with, “She has no idea I asked for her.”

“I’ll see about getting her some supplies. But actually going down to the gym…” Anderson shook his head. “What’s she up to now?”

“We just finished lunch. Probably still reading.”

“She’s got some more to read then.” Anderson’s expression was grim now as he untucked datapads from under his arm.

James lingered until Anderson came back out fifteen minutes later. A quick salute as Anderson bid him farewell in passing and then James was left to his duty. It wouldn’t be a stretch to go back into the room, see if Shepard needed anything. And that was exactly why James decided to take the tray in his hand back down to the mess. He was just being damned nosy, truth be to told and Shepard probably didn’t need that right now. When he came back, a look in showed her sitting at the desk reading whatever datapad was in front of her. 

Dinner time slowly crept up and when he came in the room with the dinner trolley, Shepard was still engrossed in reading. James stood beside her for a moment, looking down and seeing an itemized list. Words like ‘genocide’, ‘collusion’ and ‘terrorist’ tended to jump right out.

Shit. Being a grunt was easier in some ways. Get a mission, find the battlefield if there was one and he’d see it done. It usually made things clearer, in his opinion. Made for easier mission reports as well. But what the hell kinda mission wound up with a charge of genocide?

James tapped her on the shoulder before reaching for the folded stool beside the desk. “Dinner.”

Shepard turned, blinking rapidly to look at the trolley behind them. She finally slouched in the chair, rubbing at her eyes with the heels of her hands. “ _Gracias_ , Vega. I’ve still got some reading to do,” she moved her chair to the side, pulling datapads with her. “You eat. I will as soon as I’m done.”

“ _Comerás, sí_?” he watched her as he sat down.

An absent nod was her only reply for a moment. “Formal charges mean a JAG will be showing up soon. I need to go through these and the sooner, the better.”

Now James simply nodded, taking the cover off his tray. Weirdly dry-looking meatloaf, steamed veg and a mound of mashed potatoes that at least looked good.

“Ugh.” He made a face as he took a bite of them. “Cardboard.”

“Wow, can’t wait,” Shepard muttered, glancing at his dinner. “At least the drink pack isn’t fucked up, right?”

“Shouldn’t be.” James eyed it doubtfully.

That got a dry laugh from Shepard and quiet fell once more. James snuck glances at her as he ate. Her brow was furrowed and it didn’t let up the entire time. The serious scowl on her face seemed permanently etched in place and James could only imagine what half of the other charges were that kept her reading. It had to be sizeable to take nearly a week and a half to get them to her. But to formalize charges and deliver them to her without her JAG present? That had the reek of backroom politics all over it. 

He finished his dinner soon enough and Shepard made a half hearted effort on hers. Her eyes and attention were firmly glued on the datapad. Half the time, she’d start cutting up her meatloaf with the fork only to forget about it in favour of reading. She didn’t even notice when he picked up her fork and knife, cutting it up for her. The clink of him setting the cutlery down caught her attention though. 

“Jesus Christ, _no tengo cinco años_. I can feed myself.”

Honestly, James suspected she would have read until she was exhausted and then had a few bites and called it a night. He pushed the tray closer to her, simply saying, “I know.”

Shepard made a miffed sound as she went back to reading. But the bits of meatloaf disappeared more regularly now. It was surprisingly hard to not laugh as she unceremoniously stuffed vegetables in her mouth and looked like an angry chipmunk. But the tray was steadily emptied and he collected it from her to place on the trolley. The snap of him folding the stool up caught her attention once more and she seemed surprised to find that the desk was clear once more. 

“ _Muchas gracias_.” She said as she shifted her chair back over. 

“ _De nada_.” 

James wheeled the trolley out, leaving her to finish up her reading. Nothing was probably going to help when someone knew they were facing a formal charge of fucking genocide. Hell, he hoped Shepard’s JAG showed up faster than her charges did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, _tutear_ was a fun little verb I had zero idea existed.


	4. Fair Representation

By James’ rough count, it was only nineteen hours after Shepard received her formal charges that her JAG showed up. His omni-tool had pinged in the middle of breakfast. Then Shepard’s had not even a second later. Pulling up the message, James saw the name, picture and ID code along with authorized clearance and a one-time access code. Anderson had also given some pretty clear instructions as well that already left James with a headache.

James had just closed his omni-tool when the door buzzed. The guy had points for promptness. Shepard pursed her lips as she picked up her coffee.

“Too early for this shit,” she sighed before taking a sip and then wiping at her mouth with a napkin. “All right, let’s get this circus officially started.”

“ I think a circus _sería más tranquilo_.” James looked at her. “Sure you’re set?”

Shepard nodded as she tugged down on her shirt before smoothing her palm over the few wrinkles. James went to the door and stepped outside. A man in dress blues was standing there, briefcase in hand. His face tanned and showing the slight outline of glasses. Damn, the poor bastard probably got pulled from vacation. But he matched the given picture.

“Captain Julius Shao, OTAC:4720-MX8. Defense for former Commander Elentari Shepard.”

James nodded and opened the door, keeping himself between Shao and Shepard but taking a step back. It was disconcerting a bit, because he’d definitely left Shepard in the room. But he found himself looking at the Commander now, standing at parade rest. It was reminiscent of that morning when she’d scared the crap out of him on the Normandy. This was the Commander Shepard that slayed a Reaper, pulled of an impossible suicide mission and Got Shit Done. James hadn’t really realised just how much she’d let her guard down in the past week and a half.

“OTAC?” Shepard asked.

Shao didn’t miss a beat, repeating the code again before he looked at James. “I would like to speak to my client alone.”

Oh great, the sticky part already. Yeah, those words were coming from a superior officer. But James also had some words from an Admiral that were clear enough: if Shepard wants you to stay, you remain there until she dismisses you. So James felt no hesitation, looking to Shepard now. Admiral trumped a Captain, easily.

She nodded. “If I need anything, I’ll let you know Lieutenant.”

That was all James needed to hear. He saluted smartly before leaving the room to stand guard outside. Whatever the conversation was in there, it wasn’t going to be easy. Either for Shepard, who had to give Shao all of the gory details. Or for Shao even, who had a massive task in front of him: defending Commander Shepard and getting her acquitted of all charges.

The charges were probably massive too. She was supposedly responsible for the destruction of the the Bahak system and all those batarian lives. It could be argued that she’d committed genocide twice over, wiping out the Collectors like she did.

The goddamn Collectors.

If the tragedy of Fehl Prime had showed him anything, it was that the Collectors were working for someone, there had been some end goal in mind. And before Shepard’s disappearance two years ago, she’d been using the words ‘Reaper’ and ‘invasion’ together an awful lot. Plus, given that the Collectors only really started showing up after the Battle of the Citadel… well, it was too many coincidences for James’ liking.

The day stretched on and it only drove home how much of a distraction Shepard was for him. Standing outside in an empty hall, left alone with his thoughts was much harder. He only went into the room to bring lunch and dinner. Sitting outside on the little stool, eating by himself definitely sucked more than he cared to admit. It was still probably better than whatever Shepard was talking about with Shao. She’d looked kinda murderous around lunch time and Shao was grim-faced. By dinner time, Shepard’s exhaustion showed in her eyes. Shao was glued to a datapad, not even paying attention when he put the trays down for them.

But it was now twenty-two hundred and James was starting to feel antsy. Whatever they were discussing in there, they needed to wrap it up. Lights out was in two hours and Shepard generally liked to get some reading done before she called it a night. The door opened and Shao stepped out, looking haggard but determined.

“I’ll be back tomorrow evening Lieutenant,” Shao gave James a considering look. “And don’t think I didn’t miss your little stunt earlier on this morning.”

“Orders from Admiral Anderson, sir.” James explained.

“Good. Whenever Commander Shepard leaves this room, you stick to her. Visitors, vet everything and everyone, regardless of rank. I don’t care if it’s Hackett himself. You suspect anything is off, you do your job.”

Holy shit, what the hell did Shepard tell Shao? Maybe some of his freakout was a bit obvious because now Shao was gesturing to the room. 

“The Commander wanted to speak to you after I left. She’s still up. Good night Lieutenant.”

“Sir.” James saluted as Shao walked off.

He paused for a moment, unsure about just what he would hear from Shepard. When he walked in, she was slouched forward in the chair, arms crossed and still reading the datapad in front of her. Her dinner tray was there, uncovered and with the food only really nibbled at. She hadn’t touched it at all when he came by to collect the trays after he finished his own dinner. He’d take it as a win that she ate anything. 

“Don't like shepard’s pie?” he asked quietly as he tapped her gently on the shoulder.

“Shit, I didn’t even _te escuché_.” Her joints popped as she stretched before she scrubbed a hand over her eyes. “Long day.”

Damn, didn’t even hear him come in? Too long a day then. “There you go _tu_ -ing me again,” he clucked his tongue. “And you didn’t eat either. What am I gonna tell _mi abuela_ , huh?”

All Shepard gave was a thin smile, as if she didn’t have anymore energy. She was oddly silent now, just watching him with those dark, inscrutable eyes. Just as he wondered if he should start being nervous, she finally spoke.

“You need to be here early tomorrow. Bright and early at 4. I’ve got a lot to cover with you.” At James' blank reply of, ‘Uh’ she kept on talking. “It’s a lot to go over, you’ll probably have questions and I want to give you proper answers, not notes.”

“You shouldn’t be telling me anything. I’m supposed to remain impartial.” James finally got his brain working again.

“I discussed it with Shao, the things you’ll be hearing in the trial,” Shepard gave a long sigh. “Better you get it right from the source.”

James finally nodded after a bit. Shao was back tomorrow, he could always run it by him. Granted, it would be after the damage was done, so maybe it was better that James just kept his mouth shut and just let Shepard lay out all the cards she wanted on the table.

“Four in the morning, huh?” James watched her as she nodded. “Gonna be worth it?”

“That, I can guarantee. All the gory details, within reason.” Shepard gave a jaw-cracking yawn before she stared at her mostly intact dinner. “Maybe I’ll have an appetite tomorrow.”

“Yeah, well, you’re sure as shit not reading anything tonight.” James put the cover back on the tray. “Let me get the sweep out the way, then I’ll get rid of this and you can hit the sheets.” 

Shepard nodded, watching as James did the checks and then took the tray from the desk.

“Bright and early at four,” James stopped at the door to give her a salute and grin. “ _Buenas noches_ , Commander.”

That smile again, thin but there. “Night James.”

He hit the red lock and locked the door behind himself before he went to take the tray down to the mess. His own quarters were separate from Shepard’s just at the end of the hall. He did his usual night routine before typing up the always brief daily report and sending it to Anderson. It was almost 2300 when he crawled into his bed. It was even harder to sleep, trying to not wonder just what the hell he was gonna hear from Shepard in about five hours.


	5. Breathe Deep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, upside of going from a FT job to a PT one: freeing up of time. Aiming to get chapters posted quicker now. :)

The lights were still off. James stood there for a moment, trying to figure out just what was wrong precisely. Sleeping in wasn’t Shepard’s thing… unless she did stay up late reading?

The raspy wheeze had him moving to the shadowy bed before he even thought about it. He pulled up his omni-tool, setting the flashlight to low. Shepard was writhing in bed, hands clawing at the blanket. She was crying, tears streaking from her closed eyes to the sweat-soaked pillowcase.

But her breathing… it was going from a raspy wheeze to shorter huffs, like the air was thinning and she couldn’t get enough of it. Her hands clawed tighter, the blanket bunching in her iron grip. She gave a final thin gasp and then her whole body slouched back in the bed. Oh fuck, no no no… He ripped back the blanket, every single profanity crashing into his mind. He bent down, his ear to her mouth to hear not breathing.

Fuck.

No way in hell the Commander was dying on his damned watch. His hands went to her chest to begin compressions when she juddered with deep breaths, as if her lungs remembered to kick start themselves. Then came that raspy wheeze and fuck, this was some first class nightmare shit she was going through.

“Commander!” her skin was warm and clammy as James patted her face gently. Now she was back to the rapid huffs, hyperventilating. “Commander, wake up!”

The bark of his words broke through. Shepard shot upright, nearly colliding with him. One hand was clawing at his chest, blunt nails digging in hard. The other moved over his face, like it was looking for something. But even in the dim light, James could see that her eyes were wide and terrified as she looked right at his face. But it was as if she didn’t see him, that she was searching for something else.

“Garrus?”

Her fingers were resting on his nose, as if she was puzzled. Her other hand came up and was running along his jaw, as if confused by the lack of something. She blinked, shaking her head a few times. The recognition slowly came to her eyes and she drew her hands back. She ran them over her head now, burying her face in her arms. She seemed to be trembling now. James yanked the blanket free, settling it over her shoulders. 

“Hey, I’m gonna go turn on the lights, okay?” when Shepard didn’t reply as he stood, he tried, “ _Espantar el coco_.”

That got a muffled, “Scare the boogey man? You’re ridiculous.”

James really hoped that was gratitude he was hearing because he was going to press his luck. “I mean, if you wanna get me in bed, you’re gonna need a bigger one.”

Shepard’s laugh was hoarse. “And full of inappropriate com— fucking hell.”

Light flooded the room as James hit the switch. He nearly said the same thing himself as he shut off the flashlight. When he finally got a look at her, James barely managed to hold his tongue. Shepard really looked like shit. She was paler than usual, highlighting the glowing cracks on her face and limbs even more. Not to mention gaunt too, the bags under her eyes obliterated all the good sleep she got in the last week. Add in the way she was huddling up under the blanket and pulling it in closer… she looked exhausted. Like it somehow got down to her bones and she couldn’t shake it. 

“That bad, huh?” she asked when she finally looked at him. 

James pulled a face. “You had a fucking nightmare. Don’t know anyone who looks super hot after that.”

“I thought…” she trailed off, her mind drifting to something. 

Yeah, she had been seeking something familiar immediately after she shot up in bed. Her one hand had sought to grip something he didn’t have. Some thing that was also lacking on his face. This wasn’t the first time she had this particular nightmare. Hell, James had a few nightmares himself, but nothing like this. But Shepard clearly had someone to help her through them.

“Garrus?” James tried.

That sharpened her attention. Shepard tensed for a moment before she nodded. “It’s been nearly three weeks since…”

She trailed off again, but it was easy enough to figure out what she hadn’t said. James came back over to the bed, sitting down carefully at the foot to give her space. 

“Whatever you wanted to tell me, it doesn’t have to be today. We can do it another time, no?”

Shepard shook her head. “No, has to be today. Better you hear these things from me instead of it being skewed in the courtroom or some half-assed picture from scuttlebutt.”

“All right. Then I’ll see if I can scrounge up something from the cafeteria at this unholy hour.” He watched her for a moment. “Any requests?”

Shepard just shrugged and pulled the blanket in closer. James stayed long enough to pull it up over her head like a little hood. It looked like she was shivering and James really didn’t want to come back and find her freezing cold. The cafeteria kitchens were just starting up for the day and didn’t really have anything ready yet. But there were chilled drink packs and a handful of protein bars that would do the trick. Hell, if Shepard even ate a single bar, James would count it as a win. 

It was still dark out when he got back to Shepard’s cell. The lone window was small and high up, impossible for someone to squeeze through. She was still huddled up on the bed, blankets pulled in closer around her. 

“Warmer?” he asked, bringing the stool to the bedside. 

A flicker of a smile was her only response. He dumped the drink packs and protein bars on the bed, fully inspecting it closely.It all looked like standard fare but a vivid stripe of blue caught his eye. A biotic protein bar, perfect. That was a ton of calories in one shot. 

“Hey, eat this,” he fished it out, inspecting the wrapping. “Might actually taste like—”

“I died.”

Shepard’s voice was soft, but her words had the weight of a kilo-ton slug. She took the bar from him but didn’t open it. Her gaze was fixed on the end of the bed somewhere, pointedly not looking at him. In all honesty, James didn’t know how precisely to respond to that. After a moment, he scratched at the back of his head. Okay, maybe he should take it at face value, accept it as fact. Shepard wasn’t undercover, or working some deep op shit for Intelligence Affairs. She had died. That begged another question then.

“Over Alchera, right? All I know is that the Normandy was attacked by some unknown ship. Went down with twenty hands. What happened exactly?”

“The Collectors happened.” Shepard fiddled with the edge of the bar’s packaging. “Tore the Normandy apart like it was nothing. Everybody evacuated when ordered to except Joker. Had to drag his stubborn ass to the escape pod. But I…” she paused for a bit before she continued, her heavy voice leaving desolate certainty in James’ gut. “The Collectors came for another pass, I got knocked loose. Then the particle beam started cutting through, no way I could get to the escape pod. So I made sure Joker got away safely.”

Now James’ gut was sinking because her hand was squeezing tight around that poor protein bar, but Shepard was back in a ruined corpse of a ship in a decaying orbit.

“I hit that button, something exploded and then I was spinning out into space. For a moment, I thought I was okay. I’d get picked up and sort things out. But I heard a hissing, then my HUD was flashing alerts about suit and airline punctures.” Her face was sombre, gaze still fixed on something else. “Alchera got me. I was still conscious when I started re-entry.”

_Madre de Dios_ … James felt himself go cold. He couldn’t even imagine what that was like. But Shepard seemed to be on a roll now.

“I remember gasping for air and eventually finding none. I remember the heat of entering atmo, the stink of burning armour, burning metal searing itself into my dying brain. I died choking on the void and watching a frozen planet burn in front of me.”

James was moving before he even thought about it. Just leaned forward and pulled the blanket in tighter around her. There was nothing he could say to that because just what the fuck could he say to that?

“I’ve only got one memory between that and waking up again in 2185. Some white room, voices talking and then Miranda. When I properly woke up, there was gun fire and then I had to fight my way out of some Cerberus base. Fucking Cerberus.”

Her voice went from flat to fire in half a second. James frowned, utterly confused now. “As in the terrorist group Cerberus?” at Shepard’s nod, he scowled. “You fought your way out of a Cerberus base in one of those crappy medical gowns?”

“That would be a sight. They had my N7 armour. I got that on, took a pistol and grenade launcher from some bodies and fought my way out. Got saddled with two Cerberus operatives in the process, Miranda and Jacob.”

“Shit, fucking Cerberus,” James shook his head. “No wonder everyone thought you defected. So what, they resurrected you just to make you some sort of puppet? But shit, how do you even resurrect someone?”

“With just over six billion credits and a fuckton of cutting edge tech. I was nothing much more than meat and tubes when they brought my corpse to that station two years ago. I think they wanted me to be their damned figurehead, legitimize them somehow. Commander Shepard, working with Cerberus for the greater good? That’d be a PR coup for them. Was more than ready to jump ship after going to Freedom’s Progress. But what I found there…” she shook her head. “Stopping the Collectors was just about the only thing I agreed with Cerberus about.”

“You said you got stonewalled when you came back. Was that after Freedom’s Progress?”

Shepard nodded with a frown. “That’s why I had to work with Cerberus. I barely got my Spectre status back and sorting out my reinstatement, let alone jumping through whatever hoops the Alliance wanted… it would have taken way too long. Who knew how many more colonies would have disappeared if I stuck that out. Not like the Alliance was really —”

“The Alliance knew,” James didn’t mean to sound so curt. When Shepard looked at him, he clarified with, “They were doing something about it, but they were also dealing with a lot of rumours and hearsay.”

“Rumours and hearsay?”

“About you apparently.”

Shepard gave a snort. “That really explains the clusterfuck that was Horizon then.”

“What happened there?”

“Apparently, the Alliance was investigating rumours that Cerberus was behind the missing colonies and that I was working for Cerberus. Meanwhile, Cerberus received a tip that Horizon would be the next colony taken. All orchestrated by that fucking asshole to confirm that the Collectors were behind the disappearances.”

“That fucking asshole being…?” James looked at her expectantly.

“Ever heard of The Illusive Man?” Shepard finally shifted her gaze to the crushed bar in her hand. “Damn it.”

“That guy is real? Damn, I thought he was just… you know, made up. Like some scary bedtime story for _niños_.”

“No, he’s real.” She shook her head as she carefully opened the packaging and started picking out chunks to nibble on. “And a _pinche verpa manipulativo_ who needs a bullet in the head.”

That didn't sound like it was entirely Spanish. Okay then, Shepard had really strong feelings about this Illusive Man. “Sounds like this _pendejo_ is pretty high up in Cerberus.”

“Fucker runs it. He told me exactly what I needed to hear to get me to Horizon. And like hell that asshole didn’t pull strings to get Kaidan there. Classified my ass, he fucking knew.”

“Kaidan?” James recalled the dark haired man among the Normandy crew at Shepard’s broadcasted memorial. “Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko, right?”

“Staff Commander, last I checked. He was on Horizon, helping to install GARDIAN guns. They weren’t working when the Collectors showed up. Had to fight to the guns with Grunt and Miranda. The Collectors took half the colony when we showed up. Got to the guns, fought off waves of Collectors as the guns were calibrated. Then they sent that giant blue death bug with laser eyes. 

“Fucking hate praetorians.” James shuddered, remembering Camile’s voice crooning from the front of that monstrosity.

“Those things have a name? Word to the wise, if the Alliance ever gets the Cain, you make that sucker eat a slug from that gun before it barriers up then finish the job.”

“Ma’am, yes ma’am.” James’ mini salute earned a thin smile. “So you got the AA gun up and running?”

Shepard nodded. “Drove the Collectors away from Horizon. Kaidan wasn’t taken, thankfully. At least he could confirm to the Alliance that it was the Collectors and not Cerberus.”

“How’d he unfreeze so quickly?” At her raised brows, James continued on, “Just seems like he unfroze from stasis pretty quick.”

“It seems that strong biotics affect the duration of the stasis. Mordin stared working on a more refined version after Samara came onboard.”

“Mordin?” There was a familiar name. “Samara? Other crew?” James ventured. 

Shepard nodded. “Kaidan let me know pretty quick what he thought of me working with Cerberus.It was two years for him since he last saw me. For me, it felt closer to four weeks.”

Well, fuck. “The last time you saw him was when the Normandy was attacked.”

“The thing about being dead is that time stops for you and continues for everyone else. It’s a hard bridge to gap with people close to you.”

James started to say something but then closed his mouth. Shepard’s wistful tone was a bit confusing, probably not something to puzzle out just yet. Besides, plenty of other things were making sense now. “Did you try to recruit him for your team?” when Shepard gave him a mild look, he scoffed, “You told me the Collectors were dealt with. And back on Omega, I heard some crazy story about how someone went through that death relay and came back. If you try to tell me that wasn’t you, I’m not buying it for a second, _señora_.”

Her smile came back a bit stronger now. “Kaidan’s Alliance through and through. Bleeds bluer than a turian. So much so, he called me a traitor to my face and asked if I was even actually me.”

Ouch, that had to have been rough. “Declined.”

Shepard nodded as she said, “I can’t blame him one bit. Cerberus has a bloody track record. Or the SR-1, we’d seen enough of the fucked up shit Cerberus has done and the body count it leaves behind. But the Collectors abducting human colonies meant getting in bed with the damned devil. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if turian and asari colonies went missing as well.”

That wasn’t even something that occurred to James at all. There was so much fuss being made over missing human colonies. What if something else got lost in the shuffle, or was even being hushed up by other government? If he kept thinking like this, he was gonna get a headache. This sounded like it was ripped from a vid.

“And the thing about Cerberus, I think it may have been an Alliance dark program that went rouge, got absorbed by a pro-human splinter group and became Cerberus.”

Shit. James rubbed at his brow as the headache settled in. This sounded like a nightmare for Alliance Intelligence to deal with. “You think they’re in the Alliance still?”

“Sleeper agents probably. After I talked with Anderson, he wanted a single guard of his choosing and that’s why I made that list. Limited movement and access means limited opportunity.”

All James could do was shake his head. This all sounded absolutely _loco_. If it had been anyone else, he wouldn’t have given it a second thought. But all those rumours of Shepard popping up around the galaxy, half the wild shit he heard during his weekly poker games on Omega… Too many pieces had fallen into place and things were making sense now. 

A crinkle and movement caught his eye. Shepard had ripped open the crushed bar and was pressing all the small crumbs into bigger pieces. Her jaw cracked as she yawned, tears coming to the corners of her eyes. She blinked quickly, rubbing at her eyes with the back of her hand. She really looked about ready to fall over.

“Who’s your doc?” James asked. 

“No one here I’d want to see,” Shepard crammed a few chunks in her mouth, chewing and swallowing quickly. “I have no idea what happened to Chakwas when I went into custody. In a pinch, Mordin Solus. But he left at Omega and who knows where he is.”

“Mordin Solus. Kinda lanky salarian? Broken horn? Ran a clinic on Omega with some other doc named Daniel?” At Shepard’s nod, James couldn’t help but laugh. Small damned world. “Yeah, I used to pop by their clinic and get patched up. It was one of the better ones on that hunk of rock. Daniel said he up and left on some mission. Should have realised it was you.”

Shepard polished off the last of the protein bar, fishing for a drink pack. “That was me.He developed a countermeasure against the seeker swarms. Tested it out on Horizon by telling us after we landed,” she coughed to clear her throat before chirping out, “Looking forward to seeing if you survive.”

“Sounds like Mordin alright,” James laughed. “He said I had a head as thick as a krogan when I went to get patched up after a rough night. Then he said me also being krogan sized was a definite factor in me surviving being jumped by five batarians. Something about me being an outlier on the physical representation of humans.”

“That’s Mordin alright. Mind and brain going a mile a minute.” Shepard smiled as she tore the top off the built in straw.

“Heard he shot some Blue Suns that tried to shake him down for protection money. Always liked that crazy salarian.” James grinned for a moment. “Okay, so you had Mordin. Someone else named Samara —”

“Asari justicar.” 

For a moment, James just stared at Shepard because he seriously must have just misheard that. “Like... in the vids?”

“Sure,” she finally said. “Though it’s nothing like the vids, trust me.”

“Holy shit, _una pinche justicia_.”

Shepard snorted out a laugh. “I guess that would be the closest translation. May as well tell you about the rest of the crew then.”

James could hardly believe it as the professions and some names came thick and fast. An assassin that Shepard spoke of with respect. Then a rough-edged merc named Zaeed, quick with a gun and even quicker with a tall tale or anger. Jack was a whole lot of angry backed up by formidable biotic power. Grunt was her big, bloodthirsty krogan and James was super puzzled by Shepard’s very fond tone. Then there was a thief with an unparalleled cloak and exquisitely sticky fingers. The ex-Alliance soldier Jacob did make James scratch his head; dude went freelance after the Collectors but insisted he wasn’t a merc. Her XO was the same Miranda who somehow resurrected her. Tali was a familiar name to James, she’d served with Shepard on the SR-1 before returning back to the Flotilla. Legion honestly blew his mind because what the hell, _geth_?! Only Shepard could recruit a damned geth platform and befriend them. It? He? She? Fuck, James had no idea. 

Garrus Vakarian was the other name that was familiar to James as well. The guy ditched C-Sec to serve with Shepard on the SR-1 and vanished a bit after the Normandy went down over Alchera. But the soft, heartsick pang that crept into her voice when she talked of him… that was something she had to work on. Though maybe that was also because she described how the turian took a goddamn rocket to the face and somehow survived. While he wasn’t too sure, James was leaning more towards the first reason.

Then she’d launched from an impressively terrifying crew roster right into missions. James had thought the original Normandy crew was pretty badass. This crew… this crew flew through that death relay into the maw of hell and came back. And that was basically the crowning achievement on the crazy shit they saw and did. 

Hell, he could barely keep up as it all unfolded. Shepard eventually shed the blanket, steadily munching her way through the protein bars. James was so busy listening, he found himself being prompted by her to eat.

His mind was still reeling when he went for breakfast and this was the one day they seemed to take their sweet-ass time with it when he really wanted to get the hell back.

Breakfast segued into lunch and Shepard seemed more like herself, forgetting whatever horrible nightmare gripped her. She talked of some of the terrible things she witnessed and the few bright spots in it all, of rescues, scanning for minerals and the crew bonding slowly but surely. When James left to take the trays down and came back with some fruit to snack on, Shepard had finally bothered to shower and change. 

The afternoon passed by with James finally pulling his brain together enough to ask questions. He could tell there were bits she omitted for privacy’s sake. But still, his biggest struggle of the day was remembering to eat. He got way too caught up in listening and asking questions. Now, it was just after dinner time and she finished running through the disaster that had happened on Aite.

“ _Loco. Es verdad loco_.” James stared at the brownie left on his tray. “His own brother?”

Shepard nodded as she finished the last bite of her brownie. “I do wonder if I made the right call. I wanted to beat him to an inch of his life. But he wasn’t lying about making amends.”

“I think you should have taken David fucking anywhere else.” James shook his head. 

“Gavin knows what’ll happen if he fucks up. Apparently, I busted his nose when I back-handed him.” 

“And you just know that _pendejo_ wasn’t lying?”

“Visor doesn’t lie. Monitors heart rate, respiratory changes. Basic lie detector perched right on my face.” Shepard fell silent for a moment, her gaze thoughtful. “Even if the Alliance somehow fast-tracked my re-enlistment, I wouldn’t have had as free a rein to do what I needed. And as much as it sticks in my craw to say it, I needed Cerberus to deal with the Collectors.”

“But still, not the best devil to get in bed with.” James mused, thinking about Overlord.

“Know a better one?” Shepard quipped dryly.

“Uh…” the buzzer on his omni-tool screeched. He opened it to see a flashing ID code. “ _Mierda_ , that’s Shao. How the fuck is is eighteen hundred already?”

Shepard slid off the bed as soon as he said ‘Shao’. She collected and stacked their trays, placing them on the desk as James went to answer the door. He paused, watching as Shepard stood up from straightening the crumpled blanket, a brownie in her mouth. His gaze flicked to the empty, stacked trays. Sonofabitch...

“You—”

“Not a good idea to keep the captain waiting, James.” Shepard’s eyes glinted with mischief as she took a bite.

Yeah, James was definitely _never_ playing Skyllian Five with her. He pounded his fist on the door, the lock going from red to green. Shao stepped into the room and James saluted smartly. His frown must have tipped Shao off because the JAG was looking between him and Shepard, who was innocently eating James’ brownie.

“I’m not asking,” Shao shook his head, handing Shepard a datapad, before he asked, “I am assuming you have appraised Lieutenant Vega as we discussed yesterday.”

“I have.” Shepard looked far too smug finishing off his brownie. “He knows the gist of my time away from the Alliance, from Alchera to now.”

James snorted before he could stop himself. Gist, right. More like a damned flood of unbelievable mission reports.

“That sort of reaction from Commander Shepard’s guard is precisely what cannot happen during the trial,” Shao’s words were cutting, especially in the moment of silence he let follow. “As far as I know, Admiral Anderson had his reasons for picking you. But if there is even the suspicion that you are someone in collusion with the Commander, you can be damned sure you will be replaced Lieutenant.”

James had snapped himself to parade attention out of sheer habit. Sure as hell didn’t stop the words from being a hard slap in the face though.

“If you want to keep this assignment Lieutenant, I suggest you learn to impersonate a damned rock outside this room and in other company. Shepard and I discussed disclosing her activities to you to prevent courtroom reactions. I am doing my damnedest to keep certain charges away and snickering from her guard is not helpful.”

Shepard gave a derisive snort. “The Hegemony should have declared half the Council races war criminals for perceived slights.”

“But what they have is a massive body count that they can pin squarely on you, Commander.” Shao pointed to the datapad in her hand. “Fill that out.”

Shepard nodded, turning her attention the the pad in hand. James found Shao’s gaze fixed on him and braced for the rest of the dressing down.

“Work on your composure for the trial, Lieutenant. It will make things easier for you and the Commander,”

“Sir,” James tried.

“I am not done talking yet,” Shao snapped. “I did my homework Lieutenant Vega. You’re a fine soldier, aside from an AWOL stint, and would most likely be exemplary leading a team of your own. But you need to work on some things beforehand. Consider this trial to be an exercise in restraint. Beyond that damned door, you cannot, and will not, display any outward responses and emotions to what you see, hear or even what you yourself conclude during this trial. Your idolization of Commander Shepard is well known,”

There was a momentary pause in the soft ‘beeps’ of Shepard typing. _Dios_ , just let him vanish now. Better yet, if he got vaporised right this second that would be even better.

“As is the fact that you started a brawl on Omega defending the Commander’s name. The defense has already questioned having a ‘clearly biased guard’, so it is absolutely crucial that you appear impartial. Have I made myself clear, soldier?”

“Sir, yes sir!” James fired back with a salute.

Shao gave a curt nod. “Dismissed.”

James could barely meet Shepard’s gaze. As soon as she nodded her head, he was out the door. The last thing he saw was Shepard studying him with a cool look on her face and a furrow to her brow. He heaved a sigh as he took up guarding the door. Great, just fucking great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And yes, Shepard totally used turian slang ( _verpa_ ) with Spanish. She picked up things spending time with Garrus as he calibrated. And _pendejo_ can mean a few things, so I'm sticking with either 'dumbass' or 'fucker'.


	6. Court Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meant to post this yesterday but I sometimes do this thing called, "let's deny sleep until my body is like, 'OH YEAH?!' and then I wake up utterly confused the next day about when I precisely went to sleep." Fun times, especially when I wanted to post.
> 
> Also, I have been remiss: I did a 30 Days of Shepard challenge on Tumblr for Elentari and somehow haven't mentioned it here. You can find it on my ME blog - <https://amassingeffect.tumblr.com/> \- and she's searchable as either 'el shepard' or 'elentari shepard'. She's the only one I've done the 30 Days challenge for so far.

What James needed was for this day to be done. He needed this damn… farce to be done and over with and to have Shepard back somewhere secure and have a moment to himself. 

After Shao’s dressing down, it all seemed to get worse. Shao had been by the next morning, still talking with Shepard in private. Anderson had been by not even an hour after Shao and James was treated to a detailed breakdown of court-martial procedure and emergency measures. But mainly Anderson’s words echoed Shao’s: keep his temper, don’t let what the prosecution said rile him up and be on his best behaviour.

So this morning, he already felt on edge. The security team assembled and Shepard was in immaculate dress blues and escorted to the shuttle. The ride was a silent twenty minutes and the noise of protestors was jarring when the Kodiak door slid open. Chants and expletives were hurled at them as they hustled Shepard inside. At least the crowd wasn’t too big. Then again, this was just day one.

Whatever _pendejo_ denied his request for a secure landing point, James wanted to throttle them. Parading Shepard into Alliance HQ all but guaranteed a circus was gonna happen.

The silence in HQ was even worse than the protestors outside. Silence preceded their small group and whispers eddied in their wake. James was doing his best to be a damned rock, but it was fucking harder than it sounded. He was not suited for this shit at all. The last time he’d done something remotely similar, he nearly punched out his dad for almost sabotaging his joining up with the Alliance. 

Reaching the courtroom doors was where the security team was left behind. For some asinine reason, he had to escort Shepard in and be present in there. Why… he honestly couldn’t figure out why. Did they think Shepard was gonna launch herself at them in a fit of rage? And hell, even if she did, what the fuck could James do against one of the top ranked soldiers in hand-to-hand?

But watching Shepard walk into that court room and take her seat… James could only think of queens from those old stories. The ones that were proud and haughty, that knew their power. They had spines of steel and a sharp tongue, breaking lesser people with a look and words. 

James could only hope to be even a fraction of the commanding officer she was. 

The admirals sitting in judgment on Shepard’s court-martial was nothing to shrug at. Silva was one of the first N grads, who jumped from Intelligence to Legal and somehow reached the rank of Vice Admiral in a decade. To Silva’s side was Figureroa and Holloway, veterans of the First Contact War and the Blitz. Meyer was the final one and the vicious scar on her face was as legendary as her assault on Torfan that earned her the nickname of ‘The Butcher’.

As soon as he saw those faces, James didn’t envy Shao a single bit. The guy had a tough gig.

But the prosecuting JAG was a piece of work in James’ opinion. Evelyn Fieller looked sleek and composed but when she got talking, she held nothing back. The day was supposed to be for opening remarks. Only Fieller had plowed on for a solid seven hours. Seven hours of how Shepard was an exceptional soldier who went rouge, the power of being Spectre having gone to her head. It seemed that Fieller was gunning to prove that the Alpha Relay Incident was the latest in a long line of questionable decisions. It sounded like she was on the verge of saying that Shepard was mentally unfit for duty. By the time Fieller was done, so was the day’s session. Shao’s opening remarks were happening tomorrow.

Once the admirals were gone, James hustled Shepard from the room, the security team falling in place around them. Back through the silence and eddies of HQ, pushing through the crowd of protestors to the silence of the shuttle ride. If anyone heard James grinding his teeth, no one mentioned it at all. Shepard was, somehow, as implacable as she’d been in the courtroom. As soon as the security team was dismissed and he’d swept her quarters, she let loose a sigh as the door closed.

And here was James, unable to stop running through the day in his mind. This was just day one. The whole trial was going to be an extreme test of his patience. He really hoped Shao gave as good as he got.

The ping from his omni-tool caught his attention. As soon as he pulled up the message and read it over, he was moving again. His own quarters were pretty barebones and all his stuff got thrown back into a duffel. Then it was down to Shepard’s quarters and the door opened with a voice command. Shepard was stretched out on the bed, contemplating the ceiling as if it would give answers.

“Pack it up, Commander. Room change.”

All he got was a questioning look, but she complied. Her duffel was packed up just as quick and Shepard lingered long enough to ensure she had everything. The hall was quiet, the soft hum of the lights overhead the only sound heard. 

There was no getting around it: Alliance had chosen to hole Shepard up in a prison. And given her stipulations, the room she wound up in was in a more isolated wing. It went from plain grey walls and overhead lights to something a little bit nicer. Warm ivory walls and recessed lighting. Once he reached the assigned room, he punched in the access code. The lock flashed to green and the door opened.

This room was light-years away from the other one. It was three times bigger than the previous room, with wide windows looking out to mountains. In a small alcove was a closed bathroom door and the other door leading to presumably his own quarters. The bed was a double instead of a standard twin, there was a wider desk and an actual bookcase… and tuck away in a corner was the reason for the room change.Two different punching bags were set up by the corner, a speed and a heavy one. Free weights were neatly stacked on a rack nearby. Placed beside the rack were a skipping rope, medicine ball and yoga mat rounded it out. 

James did not think they would spring for all of this when he put in the request.

“Shit,” Shepard drawled as she took in the new digs. “ _Que pasó?_ ”

“I put in a request for gym time for you,” James gave a low whistle as he eyed the setup. “Didn’t think it would be this. Guess they don’t want you… uh…”

“Mixing with the other prisoners?” she finished dryly. “No sugar-coating what I am.”

James gave a shrug. “Figured you’d like some proper stuff for working out, that’s all.”

“I see,” there was a moment of silence before Shepard gave a wolfish grin. “ _Muchas gracias, mi mejor admirador_.”

“Ah,” it took James a bit to get his tongue working again. “So you, uh, caught that when Shao reamed me out, huh?”

“Was hard to miss.” Shepard considered him for a moment before her smile softened. “Brawling on Omega defending my name, huh?”

“It was just three batarians. Not brawling, just,” a beat of silence and then, “An unfair fight.”

“For them or you?” the grin on Shepard’s face was back, amusement in her eyes. 

“Definitely them.”

For a moment, Shepard didn’t say anything. But when she looked at him, the gratitude was plain as day. “Thank you James.”

It felt like being put on the spot and he wasn’t too sure what to do. He coughed slightly to clear his throat. “Not a problem, uh, Elentari. Um, El?” James shook his head at his fumbling. “Feels too weird. Sorry Commander.”

“Whatever you’re comfortable with then,” she shrugged. “Not as if I have a chain of command to maintain. Same procedures for the fancy new digs?”

“Yes ma’am. Just going to take longer to do sweeps at night, that’s all. I’ll add one in the morning too.” James was already eyeing spots; bigger room and more things meant more nooks and crannies for planting things.

“Any word from Hackett?”

“Nada. Were you expecting to hear from him?”

“Not officially. Not a big deal yet.” Shepard shrugged. “I’ll hear from him when it’s serious enough.”

James quipped, “Well that’s not comforting. If the big brass is coming to see you, just how fucked are —” 

A buzz from their door drew their attention. That was new. He looked at the clock before glancing back in the room. Shepard was out of sight but the bathroom door closed with a quiet ‘click’. James went and opened the door, finding someone with a meal trolley with a single covered tray on top and a poker faced corporal saluting him. 

“Dinner sir, courtesy of Admiral Anderson.”

James nodded with a curt, “Dismissed” and watched as the corporal strode away before his attention went to the trolley. He pulled up his omni-tool and sent a single message to Admiral Anderson: 974. After being informed of the emergency codes yesterday, James really didn’t think he’d be using it so soon.

The inspection of the trolley was quick. The scanner in his tool didn’t show any omni-patches or obvious repairs. So definitely not a bombing attempt. Which meant it only left the tray suspect. But that passed the scan as well. And given the cameras in the hallway, if someone was watching, he’d probably tipped them off by not just accepting the damn thing. Unless they maybe figured he’d do something like this? Shit, why couldn’t this be simpler and require lots of bullets?

He wheeled the trolley in quick, leaving it just beside the room’s door. Shepard came out from the bathroom now, her eyes zeroing in on the trolley. She unslung her duffel onto the bed and came to stand beside him. Her gaze was considering as she crossed her arms, a finger tapping on her lips. 

“You definitely didn’t bring this.” She finally said.

“Nope. Apparently from Admiral Anderson.” James frowned and shook his head. “ _Hay gato encerrado_.”

Shepard nodded as she took the lid from the tray. The little sound of disappointment she made was understandable. There was a strip steak sitting there along with a small dome of mac and cheese beside it. In the small spot left were three perfectly butterflied prawns, the scent of garlic wafting to his nose.

“Damn. Pity it’s probably poisoned.”

“Food that good has not come from the kitchens yet.” James cracked, as his omni-tool pinged. He pulled up the message. “Anderson’s en route. Says he’ll be here in twenty.”

All Shepard did was nod as she put the lid back on and turned her attention back to her duffel. James realised his own duffel was still slung over his shoulders and he put it on the opposite side of the door. _Dios_ , James thought as he sat down at the desk chair, _este día es demasiado largo_. By the time Anderson came in, Shepard had put away her few things and was reading through yet another book. James caught Anderson’s eye as he stood and saluted before gesturing to the trolley.

“Apparently it’s from you, sir.”

James’ explanation made Anderson’s eyebrows raise up. Yeah, unexpected delivery, just as James thought. Anderson lifted the tray's lid, studying the contents. 

“Did you get a picture of the person who brought it?”

Ah fuck. “No sir. But it was some corporal,” James ran through quick description once Anderson got his recorder going. “I’ll implement that for uncleared deliveries.”

“Good plan,” Anderson studied the tray for a moment. “Now, any ideas who could have sent it?”

“Cerberus,” Shepard wasted no time. “They don’t know how much of a liability I am during this court-martial. Entirely possible the Illusive Man figured I’m more trouble that I’m worth.”

“I wouldn’t put it past the Hegemony either,” James volunteered. “There’s a lot of pissed off batarians who want you dead.”

Shepard made a sound of disagreement. “Before they get answers? Not exactly the Hegemony’s style.”

“Could just be a warning then. If they can get this to you, who knows what else. I mean, you were just moved to this room, unless,” James paused, thinking for a moment. “They wanted confirmation you moved?”

“Then it’s still up in the air for them. No visual confirmation.” Shepard rubbed at her chin now. “That’s more likely. But still doesn’t really answer the question of who.”

Anderson spoke now. “With the media ban, it’s more likely to they’re trying to confirm things. Confirm this is where Shepard is, that you’re really her guard. On the files, there’s no name, just an assigned ID number. Not your service ID, Shepard.”

“Probably fishing for visual confirmation then.” James looked at her. “Good thing you hid in the bathroom.”

Shepard gave a snort. “An assassin comes, I’ll make sure to knock them out with the shower head.”

James huffed in amusement as he regarded the suspect tray. “What if we give ‘em what they want?”

There was a heavy moment of silence before Shepard gave a slow smile. Anderson countered with a glower and was the first to speak. 

“I’m not letting you bait a trap, Shepard.”

“Anderson, I’m a fucking pariah and a damned inconvenience now. The only reason the admirals are hedging their bets that I’m right about the Reapers is because you and Hackett believe me. We really don’t have the time for this damned circus the Alliance is intent on putting me through. So if someone wants to shut me up, they’re welcome to try and then fucking regret it.” Shepard took a deep breath, as if calming herself. “And if anything, it’ll help to flush out possible moles or leaks. Who knows how many operatives Cerberus has planted.”

Shepard’s words left James feeling wary, but the look on her face was jarring. It was hard, like she was keeping a tight leash on her anger. Clearly she was way better at hiding it than he was.

“We do this carefully,” Anderson regarded Shepard as he finished with, “And capture alive if possible.”

Both James and Shepard gave a nod of acknowledgment with a, “Yes, sir.”

“Now then, you two sit tight. I’ll sort out your dinner and then deal with that.” Anderson jerked his thumb towards the tray as he headed for the door. “No sense in moving you since we’re doing this. Oh and Shepard, you’re getting limited extranet access whether you like it or not,” Anderson paused by the closed door. “If you’re gonna be cooped up, may as well entertain yourself.”

Shepard let loose a long sigh when Anderson left. Her gaze slid to the still closed door of James’ adjoining quarters. “That door stays open at all times.”

James nodded, in complete agreement with her. “I should have known something would happen sooner or later. You really think Cerberus will try something?”

“Maybe. Depends on what information is being fed back to them. And with what I know,” Shepard gave a ‘hmph’ before saying, “I have no problems saying under oath.”

“You really think…” James trailed off, not liking the implications of Cerberus in the Alliance one bit.

“Can’t say for sure, so all bets are off,” Shepard was watching him carefully as she asked, “Anything you want to talk about?”

Maybe if he pretended that he didn’t hear that careful tone, she’d let it slide. “It’s only been a day.”

Something must have shown on his face since she nodded and grabbed her datapad. James went to and grabbed his duffel before heading to his quarters. He’d just walked into the alcove when she spoke again.

“James, I didn’t mean to…” she was quiet for a moment. “ _Lo siento_.”

He didn’t move for a moment, didn’t say anything. As rough as this day had been for him it had to be way worse for Shepard. He turned to look at her. “You ever going to tell me where you learned Spanish?” James really was curious about that; there was zero mention of it in her official profile.

“English and Spanish, _son mis lenguas maternas_. Learned some others in cities, enough to get by. Thinking of adding some more now that I have some downtime.” She finished dryly.

Learned some? Enough to get by? That had his attention. “How many do you speak?”

“Girl’s gotta have some mystery, James,” Shepard drawled. “How else am I gonna keep you around?” 

She finished it off with a grin and wink and suddenly James couldn’t untie his tongue. It took him a few moments to get his brain working again. He winced and rubbed at the back of his neck.

“That was not my finest moment.”

“I’ll say,” Shepard teased. “You may wanna work on that.”

James waved a hand. “I’m fine with the ladies.”

“Uh huh. Right.” Shepard crossed her arms, an amused twinkle in her eyes. “This your usual style, then? Cause it needs some work.”

“Ouch,” James winced as he clutched a hand to his chest. “Have some faith, I’m not that bad.”

They kept bantering as James did a thorough sweep-through of the room. They were still at it when Anderson returned, two meal trays in hand. The trays were placed on the table and Anderson brought up his omni-tool. It didn’t take him long to remote access Shepard’s and change something. 

“There, all set up now. You can also message Lieutenant Vega with requests and he can forward them to me.”

Shepard nodded as she pulled up her omni-tool… and hacked right into the program in front of them. “Adding in my own protocols. Harder to crack messages, but should still be readable. Sending you both the key now.”

James’ omni-tool flashed as the file was received. He opened it and let it auto-run. The sigh and chuckle Anderson gave left James with the impression that Shepard pulled crap like this plenty of times. She sent them a test message to ensure it worked and then Anderson was gone, the suspect tray taken with ‘for testing.’ 

As soon as the door was closed and locked, James asked, “You do coding too?”

Shepard waggled a hand. “Some things. Hacked open enough doors, lockers and safes that Tali showed me a thing or two. She’s a genius with this stuff. Once hacked a Prime in the two seconds when I blasted it's shield before it blasted me.”

“Damn,” James whistled. He’d seen enough vids of Primes in the Armax Arena chew up some veteran soldiers. The real deal though… “That had to have been something.”

“Oh, it was. She let it mow down a squad of rocket troopers, then blasted it with her shotgun,” Shepard went ‘bwoom’ as she spread her hands out. “Such a big explosion. That’s how she sold me on learning this crap to some degree.”

“Brains _and_ brawn, be still my beating heart.”

“I can talk you through some basics she showed me, if you like. Besides, it’s a good field skill. No more days of bypass omni-gel shunts.”

They settled down to finally eat as they talked about the phasing out of omni-gel for weapons. Though, Shepard admitted to not really liking heat sinks. Apparently, the smell of overheated metal was a familiar and loved scent. Guns didn’t smell quite the same anymore, just oil and metal. Nothing close to the acrid stench of a firefight. Not to mention the way Shepard talked guns and shop, James felt like he was learning a thing or two just from talking with her. When they’d finished, Shepard had taken the trays and cutlery to rinse clean in the bathroom sink.

“Fuck it, just take them tomorrow with the breakfast trays. Unless breakfast shows up and we have to deal with that.” She waved off any protest, stacking them on her desk before he could even say anything. “It’s been a hell of a long day. Just pack it in. You got a shower in your room?”

“Nope. Guess we’re sharing. Don’t go leaving out anything you don’t want me to see.”

Shepard’s amused huff followed him as he went to his room. It was too easy to see how Shepard managed to recruit a team for that batshit _loco_ suicide mission. He left the door open a bit as he walked in and flicked on the light. His duffel sat where he dumped it at the foot of the bed. Putting the things away didn’t take him too long either. He could hear sounds from Shepard’s room, probably her going through whatever nightly ritual. Once he heard the sound of the tap running in the bathroom, he opened up his omni-tool.

The message to the security team was short and to the point: ‘ _Debriefing at 0700._ ’ The acknowledgments came rolling in, but it was Milque’s that made him grin. ‘ _Ominous. Bright and early then, sir._ ’ The guy always had a comment for something. It was quick enough to kill time writing up the daily report. A gentle knock on his door caught his attention.

“ _Ducha_ ” was all Shepard said.

“Thanks,” he called out. “ _Buenas noches_.”

“ _Descansa_.” Came her faint reply.

The lights went off in Shepard’s room before the light of the bedside lamp cast a dim glow. James grabbed his toiletries from this duffel before ducking into the bathroom. Shit, even the bathroom was nicer. His quarters before just had a regulation shower and a toilet. This one was a bit more spacious with some fancy-ass looking toilet, a stand alone tub and a shower with a head that really looked like it could double up as a club.

With a sigh, James got the shower going before he started to strip down. Tomorrow probably wasn’t going to be any better than today. He needed to relax and take this stupid trial one day at a time. Anything more and his head just might explode.


	7. Exemplar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just love how I went from having not even half a job to two. And then on the heels of that, massive hurricanes hitting two states where I have friends and family. So now that things have settled down, have a chapter.
> 
> This is also the chapter that made me go, "WHY ARE YOU TWO LIKE THIS?" and then I just rolled with it because sheesh, they clearly wanted to talk about Things.
> 
> Also, trigger warning for: mention of implied attempted child sexual abuse.
> 
> Plus, many thanks to belisama26 on Tumblr for help with the translations and for making James and Elentari not sound like a pair of Google Translate bots. :)

Elentari knew this wouldn’t be easy.

That simple fact had dominated so many of her conversations with Garrus, after the disaster of Arathot and more voices were baying for her blood. The Citadel had been their final port, not even a skeleton crew on board. There was only Joker, Chakwas, Chambers, Garrus along with Daniels and Donnelly.

The best part of docking at the Citadel was that staying in the ship meant the Alliance couldn’t touch her. It was Chakwas, Daniels and Donnelly who disembarked once they were docked and promptly taken into custody. Joker had made it clear that she would have to break all his limbs to get him out of the pilot’s seat. Garrus said it simply enough: “You tend to find trouble so I’m still watching your six.” 

She may have been confined to the ship, but things could come to her. Zakera Cafe sent her order quickly enough as did various other stores. Barla Von was the most important to Elentari. She’d contacted him to sort out her financial affairs after her resurrection. Now, she had called him for one simple matter: adding Garrus to the accounts and investments. If she was going to be bogged down in legal things, then at least Garrus would have some leeway to do whatever he needed to. Unfettered access to credits and the influence they gave would definitely be helpful. 

After Barla Von finished and assured discretion, as always, she’d sent a single message to Anderson asking him to come. He came, meeting her on the gangplank. Handing over the Reaper IFF was one of the easier decisions: if the Alliance could get to that base, the intel alone would be worth the decision to save that fucking thing. If it was kept out of the Illusive Man’s hands, then even better.

The next few days were spent relaxing. Well, as much as she could. There was one lesson that Virmire and Ilos drove home: vid evidence. It was a lot harder to discredit someone when evidence was there to shove down unbelieving throats. Elentari wanted to be damned sure she would not be discredited this time.

Before the run on the Collector base, she made sure her and Garrus’ visors had more than enough memory to capture the entire mission. It definitely paid off when they went over the footage and saw everything and then some. She could only wish she had vid of the botched Arathot mission; Kenson had wiped it from her headset and then destroyed it. Why, all Shepard could do was guess. But the edited clips sat waiting in the hands of a patient Shadow Broker, to be released when needed to sway certain government parties. Information was Liara’s trade now; Elentari easily left that decision in her capable hands.

Otherwise, she stayed holed up on the ship with Garrus. Immediate concerns dealt with, he insisted that she take the proper amount of time to recover from her ordeal. That he basically ganged up on her with Chakwas was a bit galling. He’d taken a rocket to the face, was up in a few hours as if it was nothing and went right to calibrating. But he fussed over her, tried his hand at making what turned out to be barely passable levo food and trying to make sure she was following doctor’s order.

It honestly left her a bit flummoxed and strangely pleased. It made her heart clench even more when she realised just how much more of this with him that she wanted. Even if he did tend to leave bits of “project mods” scattered about on a surface until it was done. And he always bundled her up in blankets if they watched a vid late enough. She’d snuggle in close, wrap some blanket around him and invariably wake up in bed with him wrapped up around her. Sometimes, he’d made a sleepy comment about her being the best personal heater. She never knew what she grumbled out, just burrowed in closer to him as she went back to sleep.

And so here she was now, with a grand total of two days of her court-martial done. Her hands were completely and utterly tied by this. It had been just over a month since this… debacle began and it was now leaving her feeling irritable and anxious. Hopefully, Garrus was making far more strides than she was. 

Garrus Vakarian.

She inhaled deeply, closing her eyes and centering herself like Samara taught her. It still surprised her how much it actually physically hurt to think on Garrus, like a pang in her chest that demanded his physical presence. Elentari had never quite understood heartache until she had said her goodbyes to Garrus before surrendering herself into custody at Anderson’s office. Hell, Garrus had still followed her back to the Normandy, watched as she reboarded. She still hadn’t shaken the gut feeling that Garrus watched the Normandy as it left dock to head to the relay.

Those first few days, the doubt had been vicious. She could have gone to Palaven with him, pushed from there. Then her hands wouldn’t have been so tied. Thank the fucking spirits or… whatever that she gave him full access to credits.

Running off the old guard was easy. The guy was an ass and she used her shitty attitude and poker face to run him off quick. James Vega was something else entirely. For starters, they clearly picked him up on Omega, the guy was fucking huge and at least he was quick on the uptake. She’d scared the shit out of him one morning and when she left, she could see him quickly puzzling out how.

Add in the fact that her taped list was gone and all the additional things he did on Earth and Elentari actually felt a damned sight better having him around.Even more so when she coaxed an honest opinion from him.

James didn't mince words as he laid it all out there. It surprised the hell out of her, so much so she'd replied back in Spanish before she even thought it through. There was something about James that made him easy to talk to. It was especially helpful when that nightmare came back. She'd woken up, skin clammy and cold, looking for the familiar comfort of plate and hide. Elentari had been so confused to find skin and an actual nose. 

It didn't help to close her eyes. She could still see her broken body lying in a crater and haloed by Alchera's auroras. The crunch of steps on the snowy ground came, then Garrus' face came into view. Hollowed out and filled the glowing blue of Reaper tech, he bent down to her. The metallic tang on her lips made her wonder why she wept blood, then she was choking as Garrus kissed her and the tech snaked out of his mouth and down her throat. Elentari cried those bloody tears, choking and struggling as she fought until she couldn't. Then it all started again.

Hell, _el coco_ was preferable than dreaming that shit again. The hiss of the door opening was followed by James', “ _Estas bien_?” He came over to the desk, arranging trays before he pulled out a little roller stool and settled down.

“So… dinner tonight is kinda dry things with gravy to smother over it.”

Elentari eyed the covered trays as she got up. James’ showy reveal of the food didn’t really do much to make it better. Roasted chicken should not look that dry and why did the side vegetables look like they were barely holding together? The less said of the rice, the better.

“Whoever’s fucking up the food ought to be shot,” her gaze went to the small, covered bowls. “How’s the gravy?”

“Passable. Hell, bitch about the food as much as you like. You’ll probably say something I’ve already thought.”

“I’ve scraped a better meal off a shoe,” She settled down in the chair James pushed out for her. “Hell, made better ones drunk off my tits too.”

“One of these days, I’ll throw a _fiesta_ and hold you to that.” James flashed a grin as he looked at her. “Shit, you’re more glowy than usual. I read the file, so… _no lo sé, trata de pensar en perritos y gatitos_.”

“Since I can’t have a stiff drink, it’s gonna take more than thinking about puppies and kittens,” Elentari couldn’t help but snort, drowning her dinner with gravy. “Maybe rainbows? Sunshine and unicorns?”

James snorted before he dropped his fork and coughing rapidly. “Little warning,” he wheezed, fork going for the rice again. “I ain’t got no fairy dust to make you fly with those happy thoughts.”

That made Elentari laugh. “I don’t need fairy dust, I need a damned jet-pack.”

“Because you weren’t unstoppable before?” James quipped, rolling away a bit as Elentari made a half-hearted shove at him. “Okay, so not thinking of that stuff. Biotiball?”

A shake of her head as Elentari mixed the gravy into the rice. God, it somehow looked even more depressing. This was criminal. “Once in awhile, but never kept up. Clawball?”

“Nah, not my thing. MMA?”

“Close. Urban Comabt League. Missed the past two championships, so I’ve got some catching up to do.”

“Once in awhile, not a huge fan. I’ll take the Maestros any day of the week over the Blood Dragons or Sorcerers. Dunno why, but I was never sure if you watched this sort of stuff.”

“What, I’m not human?” Elentari teased, as James ducked his head. 

“Well, you had a damned good reason to miss the last two. But yeah, I know your military info. Didn’t really know you at the start of this,” he gestured vaguely. “And in those two years, they pumped out a lot of crap with your face on it. Hell, I’m surprised you weren’t hawking Wheaties.”

Elentari screwed up her face in disgust. “Okay, firstly, that shit is still gross two hundred and sixty years later. And second, damned if I know how I became the face of the Alliance. The guy they had before, Captain Lucas J Pickard…” she trailed off wistfully. 

James chuckled. “Someone had it bad.”

“Who didn’t? Seriously, check out some of the vids. Looks, charm, the whole package. Was close to retirement when he was KIA during the Blitz. Watched the funeral and everything. His old recruitment posters are collectible now, as I understand it. Especially the ones from ‘57 and ‘58.”

“Bet you got one somewhere,” James elbowed her with a grin. “Man, how much do you think yours are worth then? N7, first human Spectre, I could be sitting on a mint,” he swerved away as she tried to jab him. “But you still recall those? You had to have been a kid back then.”

“Yeah,” she squinted, doing the math. “Was ten when I first saw those, from the First Contact War and all that. You had to have seen some yourself.”

“If I did, I don’t remember it at all. _Mí tío era Alianza hasta la médula_. He kept me on the straight and narrow.”

Elentari made a thoughtful sound. Sounded like James found an entirely different path to the Alliance. “ _Ten enseño algunas cosas, ¿cierto?_?” 

“Here and there,” James nodded. “Made sure I kept my ass in school, but showed me enough to get me excited and keep me out of trouble,” he shrugged. “Joined up with the Alliance soon as I could. Always wanted to make _tío_ proud.”

Silence fell as they both focused on eating again. But that nonchalant tone was one Elentari knew all too well. Learn to convey just enough carelessness and more questions never followed up. She finished off her sadly dry chicken before she spoke again. 

“Don’t blame you for joining up as soon as you could. Did the same myself. Grew up rough and joined to get the fuck away from the Reds.”

James’ eyes widened and for a moment Shepard was surprised. The fact that she ran with a gang was a matter of public record. As far as she knew, Alliance Intelligence had taken what she had cobbled together for an alias and solidified it. But then…

“Shit, those xenophobic, racist _cabrones_?”

It really didn’t help that James was now staring at her like she grew an entirely new head. 

“Why the hell do you think I left?” she snapped. “I’ve got two eyes in my head to see, you know.” Her fork scraped the plate as she stabbed at her soggy veg.

“No, I didn’t mean…” James fell silent for a moment, as if thinking carefully. “Was it your parents in the Reds?”

Shit, he may as well have socked her right in the gut. Elentari forced herself to take a deep breath before she looked at him. The contrite look on his face said enough and with his wary, cautious tone, she could have told him to fuck right off and he’d have dropped it right then and there. One thing she learned was that people willing to drop things like this generally understood far too much about it.

“I mean, you have no family on record. I’ve always just been amazed you ran with that crowd and you’re nothing like that. Like, at all.” James rubbed at the back of his neck. “I know you lived on the streets and learned to look out for yourself before you joined up. Then Akuze happened later…”

Elentari waved a hand with a scowl, prompting James to trail off. Shao had told her earlier on today that her file had new redactions and she had to read the provided copy to be up to date. He didn’t want any surprises from her when she came under cross-examination. Not ‘if’ but ‘when’. If anything, this conversation was just driving it home even more for her. 

“No they weren’t. At least, I don’t think so,” her throat felt thick, like she had to scrape the words out. “I don’t recall much about them,” nothing beyond fleeting impressions of love and happiness. “I remember a fire and then they were gone. Wound up on the streets and in a kid gang. Was angry and fighting all the time. Apparently the Reds had their eye on me and I got sold to them. Suppose I lucked out fighting all the time. Clients don’t like kids who fight worse than hellcats.”

Goddamn, it was like the nightmare all over again. It all just came pouring out of her. This was shit she’d only ever talked about with Garrus. But with him being a former detective, he put together some pieces pretty quick. Enough pieces led to a picture. So what the fuck was it about James that made her willing to talk?

But James was sitting there with a horrified look, as if he didn’t know if he should punch something or was about to throw up his dinner. She settled for eating the last of her vegetables. Didn’t help when she accidentally bit on her tongue, the taste of blood all too familiar and a sharp reminder of a horrible memory. Of rough hands on her and then thin-high pitched screams coming from her as she fought and clawed, biting savagely at what she could.

Blood was not a taste easily forgotten, especially when she got it so young. It had flooded her mouth with the lump of flesh, pouring down her jaw. The man had recoiled, screaming bloody murder. Then the bright light from the hallway flooded in as the door opened. She only saw a shadowy figure there, but she scrambled to her feet, spitting out the lump in her mouth and then stood there, waiting to die. 

But as her sight sharpened, she saw a pair of surprise and shrewd grey eyes. Everything had changed for her with that act of bloody defiance. Shit, she was ten when that happened. 

Elentari shook her head, clearing away the memory. “Turns out I was good at fighting, really good. Got trained and then finally inducted when I was thirteen.” That wasn’t something she wanted to recall right now. “A pretty face and set of ovaries means you get underestimated a lot. Gave me leverage and I fixed that quick enough.”

“ _Esta jodido_ ,” James scrubbed his hands over his face, food forgotten. “My pops wasn’t around much. Would come to visit sometimes. But it was just _mi mama y tío_. But when she died, pops came in like he’d always been there. Spent more time with _tío_ , which just pissed him off. Then he started red sand, tried to keep me at home. Got emotionally manipulative about it. _Tío_ got into a few arguments with him about me missing class. _Pero el colmo_ … he duped me into running red sand for him. Thought he blew my shot with the Alliance until _tio_ set me straight…”

James looked like she probably had: here but not, back in sad memories. But when he looked at her, there was a small, half-hearted quirk to his mouth.

“I mean, _no es lo mismo_ ,” he gestured between them. “But shit…”

“ _Vaya par que somos_.” Elentari finished. “Fuck, I am not eating this gross ass rice and gravy. What’s that?” she asked, pointing to the small tray at the furthest corner of the desk.

“Brownies. No way are you poaching mine again,” he put the lids on their trays, stacking them out of the way before bringing out dessert. He paused for a moment, brows furrowing. “Huh. Damned scuttlebutt was right about you learning to fight in the gangs.”

“I should take your brownie just for that,” she grinned as he handed hers over. “Funny how the past comes crawling back out when you least expect it and at the worst possible time.”

That got a full-on laugh from James. “You make it sound like zombies.

Elentari snorted with a grin. “Believe me, zombies are easier to deal with.”

“No, _no lo creo_. There is no damned way you’ve come across an actual zombie.”

“Well, technically, I guess they were humanoid shaped plants. But there were people controlled by a sentient plant being, so technically a zombie, I guess? Still not clear on that. But what is tricky is killing zombies when you’re also not trying to shoot controlled hostiles who are shooting at you,”

“Yeah, tricky.” James agreed with a nod.

“While the zombies spray you with acid if they get too close.”

“What?” James stared in disbelief. “What kinda _loco_ mission were you on?!”

“Spectre mission,” she grinned as something occurred to her. “Speaking of Spectres, Spectre Cannae?”

“Hell yeah, love that show! But even that poor bastard didn’t have to deal with space zombies.”

“Plant zombies.” Elentari corrected with a laugh. “ Don’t jinx it, I really don’t ever want to meet a space zombie, thanks.”


	8. Acid in the Veins

Prowling was the only word to describe what Shepard was doing now. Sometimes, it was in front of the window, her gaze turned outwards to the wall and the tips of trees just seen over the top. Other times, her long legs took her along the wall where her workout equipment was. Back and forth, she went and James felt like he was watching some caged predator. She needed an outlet, something to blow off stress.

The past three weeks had seen the cracks on her skin slowly grow, widening like a telling chasm. Her nightmares had cropped up twice again, and James was sure only more would come as this trial progressed. Her appetite had turned finicky and he’d found the best way to get her to eat was to marathon a few episodes of something. If food was there, she’s steadily work her way through it.

Today hadn’t been a walk in the park either. With such scant pre-service information available, Fieller had questioned every single action taken on Terra Nova and Bahak. 

It fucking blew James mind and not in the best way. Questionable actions taken under dire circumstances. Both had survival at stake, Shepard versus other lives. One incident had a planet will millions at the cost of three lives. The other, a system with nearly half a million batarians to halt a galactic invasion. The way Fieller painted it, Shepard took the quickest and bloodiest path with no regard for the lives cut down on the way. 

And then Akuze was subtly brought up. Had Shepard truly done all she could for her squad to escape? How was it that she was the sole survivor when she managed to keep so many alive for so long until nearly the end? They had been expended to save her own skin and the thresher acid, an unfortunate and unintended side-effect.

James hadn’t thought it possible to convey a sense of lividness with a stiff back but sitting behind Shepard during the trial, that was all he could feel radiating off her. Not that he could really blame her. This trial had the reek of someone taking a chance to rake Shepard over the coals for info rather than getting to the bottom of the Bahak incident and her involvement with Cerberus.

This trial was going to be shit for his teeth. He’d spent most of the day alternating between clenching and grinding them. By the time Shepard was safely back here in her quarters, his jaw was sore and she had started her tense pacing. 

The disgusted noise she made caught James’ attention and he looked over to see her stomp over to the bathroom. For a few minutes, all he heard was the muffled sound of motion and then the door slammed back open. Out stomped Shepard, in a sports bra and fitted sweats, heading straight for the speed bag.She took the neatly coiled wrap tape from the top of the speed bag and silently set to wrapping her hands, scowl set firmly in place.

Yep, James could definitely be doing anything else. Like going over the latest request Shepard put in for books. He settled down at the desk, pulling up the file in question. The earlier books on military tactics and, surpisingly, theoretical Prothean culture were finished off quickly. Now her latest request was history and language books. There were what looked like turian, salarian, some asari and krogan titles in there as well as what had to be some ancient fucking quarian books too. Though it seemed like she was only bothering with Khelish and Palaven Standard Thevox. From what he understood, Thevox was the easier of the two and no one except the quarians really bothered with Khelish.

A rhythmic thud-slapping sound made him glance up to see Shepard skipping in place, jump rope held firmly in wrapped hands. He watched for a bit before turning his attention back to his omni-tool.

Shepard’s book requests read a lot like cadet basic reading but on a massive dose of some kind of steroid. It looked like prep work and that left James feeling a bit uneasy. The thought of ‘Reapers’ skittered along the edges of his mind, but he wasn’t too sure if he wanted to grab hold of that yet. It entailed so much and he knew precious little about that. Shepard was the bonafide expert on that. 

Shit, maybe he should be reading what she had read. He pulled up her previous request and grimaced seeing some of the titles. If he didn’t think there was something worthwhile to this…

It didn’t take him long to retrieve his own datapad from his room and load up the books onto it. From what he remembered, _First Contact: Shanxi and the Turian Hierachy_ had been added not long after the war and it always left a sort of sour taste in his mouth. Better to start with The Art of War. Yeah, it was old as shit but solid advice from a nearly 2,000 year old text was better than something that reeked of quasi-Terra Firma bullshit.

He settled down, making progress through the book. The sharp slap of the rope hitting the ground was eventually replaced with the rapid rhythmic ‘fwip-fwip’ from the speedbag. James half paid attention to It as he read, intent on making something of a dent. But eventually the sound stopped and flickers of movement caught his eyes, making him look up. 

Shepard was pretty much his height and he never thought much of it. She didn’t have his bulk but she made up for it with her presence, it was compelling and did draw the eye. Even more so now, just watching her shadow boxing. Her long arms were held in close before they flashed out, lighting strikes with sharp breaths. Her feet moved, light and responsive to pivot easily as she dodged imaginary blows.

Her reach looked pretty damned good and he pitied the poor soul that had to grapple with her. But his reading was forgotten as he watched her strikes, trying to figure out what was wrong with them.

High and low, he realised a few minutes later. Her uppercuts came up half a foot higher while her lower jabs and punches curved a bit more, to deliver more power on the upswing. 

Though just as he figured that out, she shifted. Her legs spread a bit more, muscles bulging with tension. But her hands were flying now, short precise punches that seemed to pepper everywhere. They seemed to focus mainly in the head area. Throat maybe? It was something to watch Shepard for those few minutes. That much raw, unbridled power was all someone really could keep it up for. He knew from experience and could say so from the grace of a well-timed bullet.

Her breathing was harsh as she smoothed out now, slow movements flowing like liquid as she slowly stretched from one pose to another. It wasn’t quite yoga and… honestly, James wasn’t too sure what it was. Seemed like a hell of a good cooldown routine though.

Shepard eventually wound up sitting cross legged on the floor, eyes closed with open palms resting on her knees. Her breath was steady and regular now, trickles of sweat running down the side of her face. James got up, tossing the datapad aside. It didn’t take long to get a wash cloth, soak it through and wring it out. He was just a step away from Shepard when her head turned sharply to look at him.

“Jesus!” James nearly jumped. “Can you not do that?”

A mischievous glint came to her eyes. “You do make it kind of easy,” she took the damp wash cloth from him. “ _Gracias_.”

“…Were you yanking my chain that morning on the SR-2?” James squinted at her in suspicion.

“Hard.” Shepard finished wiping away the sweat, folding the wash cloth and placing it behind her. She patted the floor beside her. “Was trying to figure out how big a bag of dicks you were. Didn’t think you’d wind up in the CIC.”

“Anybody tell you you’re awful sometimes?” James chuckled as he sat down.

“Not in so many words.” Shepard grinned before she took a slow, deep breath. “Usually it’s with sarcasm and back sass.”

“So, what are we doing now?” James shifted to get more comfortable.

“Nothing. Just…” after a moment, Shepard gave a loose shrug. “Taking a moment. Reminding myself that things beyond that door are mostly beyond my control. This room is a haven to recuperate and plan.”

Okay, so that was unexpectedly heavy. James scratched at his head for a second before he held up a hand. “Turian. Garrus Vakarian,” One finger went up. “Krogan. Probably Grunt,” a second finger went up. “Third. Damn if I know what the fuck it was.”

Shepard’s amused reply was simply, “Drell. It’s called tha-yima.”

Right, there had been a drell assassin on her crew. “You sparred with all of them?”

“We had weekly sparring matches. Helped to blow off some steam, everyone learned how the others fought, how to best support them. Usually within reason. Samara helped with the biotic sparring,”

Damn, there was a hell of a story there, James could smell it.

“But that last one isn’t a sparring technique. I was instructed in it. He said it would help improve my flexibility. Hell, I got reach to spare. Really helped with sparring with Grunt, that was fucking brutal. Lemme tell you, a one-two to a krogan windpipe makes them take pause for a moment.”

“Oh yeah?” James raised an eyebrow.

“Krogan teeth are sharp. They don’t think humans would dare let their delicate hands anywhere near them. Had to take Grunt down fast. Socked his windpipe hard enough to crush it, headbutted him hard and had to dislocate his arm hard enough to nearly rip it free before he yielded.” Shepard’s whole face softened with a smile. “Made him spicy noodles afterwards.”

For the life of him, James didn’t think he’d ever get the relationship between Shepard and Grunt.

“I fought a krogan once. They are tough sonsofbitches.” James was quiet for a moment. “This wasn’t in a sparring match. Had to deal with some Blood Pack. Went _mano a mano_ with the leader, Archuk. One of the hardest damned fights of my life.”

“You survived.” 

James nodded. “You know Milque. On your security detail?” at Shepard’s nod, he continued with, “His bullet saved me from an early grave.”

“A good soldier knows when to admit he’s lucky James. There’s no shame in that,” she was quiet for a moment. “It’s a hard one to learn.”

All he could do was nod at her sombre, knowing tone. Sometimes, all the training in the world could mean nothing in the face of some sheer, dumb luck. For a moment, he didn’t reply, looking out at the tops of the trees over the prison wall.

“Why’d you switch?”

“Huh?” Shepard let her confusion speak for itself, not turning her head at all.

‘You started using my name. Why?”

“Well,” she gave a loose shrug before she smiled. “A little mystery is good for the soul James.”

“Really?” he groaned. “That tired old line?”

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out.” Shepard inhaled slowly, a grin coming to her face. “You’re some hotshot lieutenant, should be pretty easy, right?”

“So not helpful.” James groused, trying to not let his amusement show.

They sat there side by side, just looking out the window and in their own thoughts. James was starting to lose track of time when Elentari spoke again.

“There’s someone else you should know about. Geoff Toombs. Former squadmate, actually survived Akuze because of Cerberus. He’s running a merc band out of Omega now. He… had some words about me working with Cerberus. Said he kills any Cerberus team he comes across.”

“You think he’d make an attempt with you in Alliance custody?” James shifted to look at her.

Shepard was quiet for a moment. “I wish I could say he wouldn’t, but I don’t know for sure. I don’t think he’d try to assassinate me but who knows what he’s thinking about this mess.”

James pulled up his omni-tool, typing in the information as he asked, “How long ago did you last hear from him? Anything else you can tell me?”

“Was about… three months ago,” Shepard replied after a moment’s thought. “Toombs is a hell of a fighter. Tenacious and a crack shot with killer hand aim. Could nail a target with a grenade from sixty feet.”

“Great.” James said dryly. 

That wasn’t heartening to hear at all. Yet something else to factor into the steadily growing insanity of getting her to and from the courthouse. Shepard’s heavy sigh echoed how he felt and made him look at her.

“Just someone else aiming to stick a knife in me,” she pursed her lips before raising an arm and sniffing at her pit. “And here I am sitting, like some stinky stuck pig.”

“You don’t smell that bad,” James waved off her exaggeration. “You gonna shower now or later?”

“Now, I think…” she trailed off looking about the room. “Maybe I should have tried for a kitchenette.”

James could see where she was headed with this. Less worry about the security of the food if it was with them at all times. “You wanna cook?” at Shepard’s nod, he nodded back. “Could work if it’s approved. Randomized shopping trips, no repeat items…”

“Shit, why are you running it by me?” Shepard laughed.

“Just thinking aloud,” James explained, sheepishly. “Sure as hell beats standing around, watching like a hawk as they prep our food, keep it in sight at all times before coming back here with it. Man,” he shook his head with a laugh. “Won’t the Admiral love this.”

“Apparently, I wasn’t accepting enough before, so why not go for it?” Shepard gave a gentle push to the shoulder. “Go, get dinner. I”ll shower quickly when you get back.”

James didn’t waste time, ensuring the room was secure before heading on down to the mess hall. He fired off the quick request to Anderson before settling to the unenviable task of watching their dinner being prepped. Dinner tonight looked way better, with roasted potatoes and veg with some fried chicken and hell yeah, he snagged some chocolate cake for dessert. As soon as James was back and the door locked, Shepard hopped in the shower. She was out quick enough though and her eyes lit up when the food was revealed.

“Whoever’s in the kitchen now, I hope they never leave.”

“Amen to that.” James agreed. “Really hoping they made the cake too.”

Shepard perked up at that. “Cake as well? This may just make up for the shitty court day.”

They wasted no time tucking in and were nearly finished when Shepard spoke again. 

“Maybe we should spar.”

“Uh…” James was so surprised all he could do was stare at her, with his half-chewed mouthful of food.

“You’re staring at me like a turned into a geth. I get an actual opponent, you can brush up. Everybody wins.”

James swallowed hastily. “I’m also pretty sure you’d wipe the floor with me.”

“Why does everyone say that?” Shepard scowled.

“Probably because they know your stats,” James lifted a finger on his free hand. “Top ranked in hand-to-hand in basic,” another finger rose. “Crushed it in ICT and _maintained_ that hand-to-hand ranking,” a third finger joined the other two, “In the final push for Elysium, you helped to lead Epsilon Squad down the gullet to take back the town,” he rubbed at his chin thoughtfully for a moment. “You sure you aren’t giving the krogan pointers?”

A laugh sputtered out of Shepard at that. “I’ve got to tell Wrex that. That ought to get his quads in a twist.”

“Urdnot, right? Leads in Tuchanka now?” James really hoped he remembered that right. Planetary politics wasn’t his strong point at all.

Shepard nodded. “I’m gonna have to brush up on too much inter-planetary bullshit when this is all done,” she made a displeased sound. “No news feeds?”

“Sorry,” James shook his head. “Full blackout with exception of approved media. The less influenced you are, the better. Though speaking of,” James held up his omni-tool. “Those UCL championship matches and some more Spectre Cannae episodes cleared.”

“Awesome,” the smile didn’t last long before she was somberly studying her tray. “This is why I couldn’t come back right away.”

James just nodded, watching as she absently tapped the fork against a piece of roasted potato. 

“Anderson was right about that much at least. Get my Spectre status back and do what I needed to before coming back. I’m just…” she gave a deep sigh. “I’m hamstrung by this. All the questions, the nitpicking, it’s not what needs to be happening now.”

The intensity in her voice was making him a bit curious. “What should be happening now?”

“Massive preparations. Ramping up emergency evac procedures, cranking out as many ships and weapons as we can. Stockpiling supplies, improving our early detection system. Fuck, what we really should have been doing is mining Prothean data for anything useful. Just… fuck…”

Shepard scrubbed a hand over her face but it didn’t really mask her look of frustration. The thin veneer of stoic professionalism she kept was always discarded pretty quickly around him once that door was shut. It had only been… _Dios_ , it was already a month and a half since James had started guarding her. A month since this stupid fucking court-martial began. Shit, where had the time gone?

“We’re not going to be ready when the Reapers come if this keeps up.” Shepard’s voice was heavy and resigned.

“Wanna talk to Anderson in here? Discuss something about this with him?”

“Yeah,” Shepard finally said after a few minutes, rubbing at the back of her neck. “He’s one of the few that’ll listen to what I have to say seriously.” She paused for a moment, moving her hand a bit before frowning. “Shit, I’m getting fuzzy again.”

“I’ll schedule in a barber trip.”

James pulled up his omni-tool but Shepard shook her head. “No thanks. Rather just cut it myself. Don’t need it splashed on some news network that the Bahak Butcher got her hair trimmed with full details at eleven.”

“I’ll get a trimmer then,” James scrutinized her short curls. “Could give you a mohawk maybe.”

Shepard shook her head with a huff of amusement. “No, that’s a terrible idea. With this jawline, my face would look wider.”

“I dunno,” James shrugged. “Turian females have those flared mandibles. Maybe a certain someone would like it?”

Shepard stilled for a moment, her gaze settling on James fully. Her scrutiny felt like it weighed a fucking ton, so the quicker she was about it, the better in his opinion.

“James,” her voice was even and measured. “Did you just offer to pretty me up for Garrus?”

“Ye-” the word was half out his mouth before he backtracked with a, “Nope.”

The laughter that pealed out of Shepard made him feel massively relieved. At least he hadn’t guessed wrong.

“ _Dios mío_ ,” she shook her head, a wide grin in place. “ _Eso fue terrible_.”

“Well, Garrus is important and…” James trailed off, rubbing at the back of his neck in embarrassment. “I didn’t want to overstep.”

“Uh huh. Says the man who always manages to flirt with me once a day.”

James shrugged again, feeling the heat of a flush creep up his neck. “What I do know is that we’re shit at eating when we get to talking. We were nearly done this time.”

Shepard swore under her breath as he gestured to the lukewarm remnants of their dinner. “Right, we really are. What can I say, you’re easy to talk to. That’s not the only thing you’re easy with, right?”

James inhaled sharply, unfortunately sending his bite of broccoli flying to the back of his throat. “ _No ayuda_!” he wheezed after she thumped on his back.

“Was I supposed to be?” Shepard’s innocent expression was entirely undone by the wink and grin that made his flush shoot right up to his hairline. “And _that_ makes it fun too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently, at 1 AM, UCL (Urban Combat League) becomes UBC (University of BC). Lesson learned: no more late-night not-tired-but-actually-super-tired posting. LOL


	9. Meteora

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy N7 Day!!! Have 2 chapters. We're halfway through now. :D Some of my fav bits are coming up.

Today was even fucking worse than yesterday.

Apparently, the Alliance was wasting no time with ‘transparency’ and published a heavily redacted version of what happened with Fieller’s run down of the events at Terra Nova and in the Bahak system.

It was just blood in the waters to start the feeding frenzy. Shao was cross-examining today, but getting Shepard into Alliance HQ was bad enough. It was an angry, yelling mob that he could hustle the squad through easily.

All this fucking show for someone to get their pound of flesh. 

The court proceedings had been a tightrope in and of themselves too. Shao had risen to the occassion, deflecting and seeking further clarification on the twists that Fieller introduced. The regrettable deaths of Kate Bowman and the engineers was squarely on Balak’s hand. With a colony of millions on the line, how could Shepard let a known terrorist go free to attempt the same thing again? A terrorist who had proved to be shrewd and bold enough to play off humans against each other. Self-inflicted wounds wasn’t something to entirely discredit.

Though, her squadmates for that mission were a double edged sword. Urdnot Wrex was on Tuchanka, wresting the clans into submission. And Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams, well, Shao had deference and respect where Fieller showed delicacy.

Since Ashley’s death on Virmire, The Williams names finally meant something other than surrender. It meant exemplary service far above and beyond the call of duty. Shepard had made that clear whenever a mic had been shoved at her after the Virmire events. The family maintained that. And with her posthumous awarding of service medals from the turian and salarian governments, it left the Alliance scrambling to award a Star of Terra to a grieving Mrs. Elaine Williams who accepted.

It also meant that the family had some clout in some military circles. Say the wrong thing about Ashley Williams and there would be Problems.

So Fieller had tried to lay the brunt of the blame on Shepard and Shao was methodically picking it apart. Ashley Williams was known for being honest and blunt. That mission report filed had backed up Shepard’s actions, that Shepard had requested Williams’ objectivity in a separate, and entirely unnecessary, report.

And James could see much better now because his chair had been moved. Not behind Shepard anymore, no, now it was facing her and on an angle. With his back towards the bench, he saw every single bit of Shao’s game face as he talked and Shepard’s… her’s was unnervingly blank. Just a flat calm that was all the more unnerving because she steadily maintained it for hours.

Now, the day was winding down and Shao was on his closing remarks for the day and shit, it was so fucking hard to be a goddamn rock. How did Shepard do it? All James could think was that he had to get Shepard back to the shuttle and how much bigger was the crowd now and he was seriously going to murder whoever denied his rooftop landing request.

The banging gavel had him rising to his feet and saluting as the Admirals filed out. As soon as they were gone, he was approaching Shepard, a polite nod to Shao. Shepard silently fell in step behind him and they were out the courtroom. Like clockwork, the security squad fell in place around Shepard, with James leading. As always, silence fell before them and whispers parted in their wake.

But when the main doors opened, it was a solid wall of angry faces and yelling that greeted them, a heaving sea of bodies pressing in on the narrow walkway they had. James thought he caught a quiet, ‘Holy shit’ from Milque behind him but he couldn’t think about it now. The shuttle was about forty feet away. One of the longest forty fucking feet in his life.

They got down they steps quick enough, ten feet covered. The mob was really yelling now, words and profanities hurled rapidfire as vidcams rose and circled above, trying to get a shot of Shepard in the middle of the security squad.

Bahak Butcher. Genocidal monster. Inhuman bitch. Soulless monster.

It all pressed in as close as the mob did now and it was another twenty feet left to go. James couldn’t afford to pause and look back. He knew the squad was right behind him, that they’d do their jobs.

A shocked grunt came from behind him. Before he could even turn his head, shimmering biotic blue flared out, pushing the mob, barricades, and vidcams back and forcefully clearing the rest of the way. James picked up the pace, glancing back long enough to see the squad now clustered in tightly around Shepard. The shuttle door was opening as the mob shook off the silence and came to crash back in against the barricades to push them back in closer.

James paused at the shuttle doors long enough for Shepard and the squad to get on before he got on himself, thumping the side to give the all-clear. He could see them start to lift-off even as the door was closing. Couldn’t blame the pilot one bit.

Once the door was closed, he turned to see the tall, pale Sentinel peering at the back of Shepard’s head. She was bent forward slightly, a massive scowl on her face. Her elbows were propped on her knees and James could see the dark smear of blood on her left palm, trailing down along her fingers to drip on the shuttle floor.

“We didn’t see where the rock came from,” Milque’s calm voice caught his attention. “Just saw Shepard clutch her head then Azu slammed out that… Barrier. Maybe if we can get some footage from the vidcams, we can find something. All our suit recorders are at eye level with us, so it’ll just be a sea of pissed off faces.”

James nodded, wondering just precisely what kinda move his adept pulled off. It looked like a barrier, but pushed out like a flare. “Good job, Corporal Azubuike.”

“Sir.” The woman saluted crisply.

“All right Gjelstad,” James turned his attention back to the Sentinel. “Give me the news. She gonna live?”

A wave of chuckles rippled around him and even garnered a grin from Shepard herself. Gjelstad’s fingers were delicately probing the bloody spot on the back of Shepard’s head.

“Helps that there’s no hair in the way. It’s pretty clean, just a bit mashed a bit on the impact spot,” he shifted, thin fingers fishing out a medi-gel blister pack. “Give me a second and I’ll have you patched up Commander.” 

The packet was deftly torn open and a blob of pale green squeezed out onto a finger before a thin, bloody gauze patch was lifted away and the gel smoothed on in place. Shepard hissed sharply and yeah, the initial sting of medigel was always something when the wound was raw enough.

“Nothing caught no one’s eye?” James asked as he looked at the rest of the team. He had the feeling this was a one-off incident but better safe than sorry.

Heads were shaken in agreement but it was Kung who spoke first. “Nothing sir. Too many faces moving about, and in fairly close. Couldn’t really see anythign until Azu pushed them out. And even then we were hustling the Commander to the shuttle double-time.”

“A thick crowd sir,” Brady’s pale blond bun was sharp against Kung’s black buzzcut.”A miracle would have been catching the rock.”

_More like the miracle is that it wasn’t a damned grenade._ The dark thought flitted through James’ mind unbidden. He’d definitely be requesting copies of the vid cams and seeing if there was any sort of file on Geoff Toombs.

“And just think, there’s still more trial to come.”

Milque’s dry quip settled a silence over the interior. That fact, James tried really hard to not think about. Shepard had to be back there in four days and who knew what kind of frenzy would have been whipped up by then. Though, if James had his fucking way, the damned near-daily parades would be over with.

I’ll see about having a new procedure approved and implemented within 48 hours.” James said.

The shuttle ride back to the prison was silent, barring the muted vibrations of the thrusters. Once the shuttle touched down on the landing pad, James noticed Gjelstad lingering while everyone else hopped off. When James raised an eyebrow in question, Gjelstad spoke.

“Keep an eye out for her complaining of headaches or puking,” the tall man spoke quietly, so his voice didn’t carry. “No balance, double vision or can’t really remember things. If something feels off, let me know.”

“You thinking concussion?” James murmured, his brows creasing in worry.

Nodding, Gjelstad continued with, “I know she wouldn’t want me saying this in front of all the others. She’d fight tooth and nail since I’m not her regular doc.”

“Shifting it to me, huh?” James snorted in amusement.

“I think Shepard’s aversion to doctors is legendary and I don’t have a death wish sir,” Gjelstad gave a crooked grin. “I’m not her preferred doctor and she seems to tolerate you well enough. I’ll be with the rest of the team in our assigned quarters if anything crops up. If it’s bad enough, I’ll make enough of a fuss to get Dr Chakwas here.”

“Works for me. Though, you make it sound like you just stared death in the face and then slapped medi-gel on the back of its head.”

“Didn’t I sir?” Gjelstad gave a quick salute. “Lieutenant.”

James watched as the Sentinel went to stand with his squad before they were dismissed. Shepard was oddly quiet the entire walk back to their shared quarters. As soon as the door shut behind them and locked, she made a beeline right to the bathroom. James didn’t think anything of it, it had been a rough day and Shepard probably just really wanted some privacy. 

It was only when he had finished his sweep of their quarters that he realised it had been too quiet.No toilet had been flushed, not even the sound of running water from a tap. When he stepped out his room to look at the bathroom door, it was open a bit and dead silent inside. Not even the damned fan was going.

“Commander?” James tried, a hand resting on the door. When he got no answer, he tried again. “Shepard?”

He peered around the door, wishing he knew what to do with what he saw. Shepard had a white knuckled grip on the porcelain sink, hands gripped tight with a fine webbing of cracks beneath her palms. Shepard was just staring at herself in the mirror, looking angry? Confused? Shit, James wasn’t sure what this was but he was pretty fucking sure this wasn’t from a concussion.

Protocol dictated that he go and find someone to deal with this because he sure as shit had zero qualifications to deal with this. But Shepard’s aversion to doctors was legendary, he didn’t even want to imagine how she’d react to him getting her a srhink. Not to mention the few people he felt sure she would allow to see her in this condition was probably small enough to count on one hand. Hell, they probably weren’t anywhere near the Sol system at the moment. The thought of, ‘Anderson’ just flitted across his mind when Shepard’s voice broke the quiet.

“Shepard should have saved them”

If James hadn’t seen her mouth moving, he would have thought he imagined it. There was a frown on her face now, brow furrowed tightly as if she was considering her own words.

“Couldn’t save them. Couldn’t risk three lives for three million, couldn’t let that terrorist walk free, do the same again. Three for millions,” there was a sharp crunching sound and the cracks fissured further along the sink. Fuck, just how strong was Shepard now? Her breathing became sharp now, eyes widening. “Three thousand lives for so many others… Did her job as best she could. Wasn’t good enough,” a harsh derisive snort now. “ Never fucking good enough.”

The crunching sound and growing cracks came again and James fully into the bathroom before he even thought it through. Even worse, his mouth was moving and he was talking for some reason instead of finding someone remotely qualified to deal with this.

“Just forget what that _pendejo_ is saying,” James closed the door behind him and stepped aback against it, not wanting to crowd Shepard. “Plenty know you did the best you could. I sure do. And that ought to be good enough for anyone, _comprede_?” her hands loosened a bit, drawing his attention momentarily. “It was damned if you do, damned if you don’t. You made the hard call. And when it all goes tits up like you say it will, I wouldn’t want to be serving under anyone else.”

Shepard’s gaze seemed to shift, grief easy to see. “Too many hard calls. She’s made so many…”

“Yeah, you have,” James emphasized; he really wasn’t liking how she referred to herself. “But you’re also the Commander who won the Battle of the Citadel, destroyed the Collectors and delayed the Reaper invasion before turning yourself in to keep warning us about the Reapers.”

Now Shepard was shaking her head. “Soulless. Monster.”

“No,” James stepped forward now, turning her away from the mirror. “ _"Corazón_ ,” a gentle tap to her sternum. “ __Cerebro,” now one to her temple. “ _Valor. Y un poquito loca._ ”

Shepard’s gaze fixed on him now and shit, she really did have a gaze that cut like a scalpel. She looked like she was somehow too open, too vulnerable and fuck, James really should have gotten someone else in here because he was officially at his wit’s end.

“I know, the hard calls fucking suck. Just…” he swallowed hard, fighting back memories. After a moment, he just shrugged loosely before pulling her into a hug. “ _Te creo. Creo en ti_.”

For a long, agonizing second, James figured this was it. He had officially stepped over some line and Shepard would deck him any second now. He thought his own nightmares and demons were bad enough, but Shepard’s… he couldn’t even begin to imagine what her’s were like. But after a moment, he felt her arms wrap around him in a tight hug and she released a long, shuddering breath.

“What’s Garrus going to say when I tell him about how my guard took familiar liberties with language?” she mumbled against his shoulder a few minutes later. 

“I don’t know,” James hugged her a little tighter. “I mean, you got me. You really need Garrus?”

Shepard snuffed with laughter against him. Then came a gentle poke to his ribs. “I should tell him. Leave you hanging in the wind. Tell you what, when I see him again, we’ll find out.” 

“ _Ten piedad, por Dios_ ,” James drew back a bit to look at her. She did look much better, that angry and lost expression gone. “Pretty sure he’s gotta be impressive as shit if he’s with you.”

A grin came to her face now, happiness clear as day to see. “Well, for starters, he’s a turian.”

“Awesome, been in the military since before I even considered it,” James sighed, as he looked at the door. “Should I get dinner and then you can tell me the fifteen different ways that this guy could pummel me in a fight if he wanted to.”

“He’s taller than me too. He’s wiped the floor with me a few times when we sparred.”

“Oh, so he can definitely wipe the floor with me,” James reached back for the door knob and opened it. “Least I can do is make sure you’re fed so I have some points in my favour.”

Shepard’s amused laughter was definitely heartening. She followed him out from the bathroom, plunking herself down on the bed. “Anyone ever tell you, you’re a bit of a drama queen.”

“Pfft,” James waved a hand in dismissal. “Prudence never hurt anyone. Especially when it involves a turian with more combat skill than I can probably scrape off my shoe. If he thinks I’m somehow starving you…” now he gave an overly heavy sigh, pressing the back of his hand to his forehead. “ _Estoy muerto_.”

“Jesus Christ, just go get dinner,” she laughed. “I’ll make sure Garrus knows that you aren’t starving me.”

“Alright then.” James started for the door but then paused. “You, uh, gonna be okay?”

Shepard gave a nod as she reached for her datapad. “I’ll be fine. Wouldn’t mind if dinner was cake though.”

“I don’t know if I can sweet talk them into that, but I’ll give it a shot. No promises.” James said as he headed out.

Thankfully, the mess hall wasn’t too busy when James got there. Even more surprising was the cook solemnly nodded at James’ request and then loaded up two trays with an impressive array of slices of calorie-laden sweets and filled up a pitcher with some cold milk and plunked two glasses on the trolley. Hell, there was even a bowl of ice cream. Seriously, James owed the guy. He booked it back to their rooms and placed the tray on her lap before dragging the chair over beside the bed.

“Holy shit, where to start?!” 

Shepard was eyeing the plate even as she picked up the fork and yep, there went a piece of pie. Honestly, James couldn’t even recall when his last cheat day was, so what the hell. Wasn’t there some saying about let them eat cake? Though speaking of, Shepard had demolished the pie piece and had neatly removed a frosting rosette with her fork to pop in her mouth with a look of bliss. James chuckled in amusement; he was sure he’d seen jarheads leave more crumbs behind.

Three months ago, she damned near scared him into a bulkhead. Now he was watching her eat with the gusto of a six-year old.

“What?” Shepard mumbled around a bite of tart.

A grin came to James’ face before he could even stop himself. “Stressed?”

“Just a little bit,” she fired back, gesturing to his plate. “What, never eaten pure sugar before for dinner?”

“Who hasn’t?” his eyes widened as he spied a heavenly slice of dark orange. “You want your pumpkin pie?”

“Hm?” Shepard glanced from her plate to his. “Trade you for that mango lime tart?”

“Done,” James had already tipped the tart on her plate and claimed his prize. “Fucking love pumpkin pie, it’s totally out of season now. But I am not looking a gift horse in the mouth.”

“Uh huh. That enough for a growing boy such as yourself?” Shepard raised a brow as she nibbled on the edges of her second tart.

“ _Cinco años no es mucho, pero…_ ” he trailed off as something occurred to him. “Is it more than five years? Like, are you still 29 or are you actually 30-something?”

“I dunno, do dead things age?” a slow grin came to Shepard’s face. “And I swear to god, if you say zombie…”

“No, no,” James chuckled before drawling out, “So… 30?”

“That’s what I’ve been going with.” Shepard shrugged. 

“Yeah, okay, so _seis anos no es mucho_. Besides, gotta keep you on your toes.”

“I should be doing the same with you,” Shepard chuckled. “That lovely harsh realism couched with respect. You’ve been an XO before, haven’t you James?”

“Shows, huh?” James couldn’t stop the flashes of Captain Toni through his mind. “I wan an okay XO. Followed orders, did my job. I wanna say it gets better but…” he trailed off with a half hearted shrug before he paused. “Hey, no wait, it’d be two years then, no?

“Wow James,” Shepard drawled in amusement. “Took you a bit to get there.”

“Hey, you want me to count bullets, I’ll tell you how many shots left before you need a new heatsink. Figuring out numbers for this shit?” he shook his head. “No deal.”

“All right, so hacking 101 coming right up. I’ll put encryptions on my omni-tool and you’ll eventually try to hack in. That’s your homework.”

“ _Mierda, no, no gracias_! I’d rather just smash it open.”

“To get data?” Shepard raised a brow.

James conceded, “Fine. I’ll just kick it until it something happens.”

“Ha,” Shepard barked out a laugh. “The day that works, you let me know.”


	10. Burning

The face staring back wasn’t her, was it? Here she was, fresh from the shower with moisture clinging to her face, pooling in the cracks and she couldn’t figure out if she was herself. That hazy fugue lurked with her as she stared at herself and saw a carefully crafted mask staring back at her, a face she didn’t recognise.

Beneath that Shepard mask, she was still some terribly angry kid, trying to hide the hurt and loneliness she had for so long. She’d channeled that anger, learned to maim and then kill. That had been a universal constant since she could remember. All that changed was who was asking her to do it. First had been life itself, a basic and brutal survival tactic. Like the documentaries said, it was survival of the fittest, kill or be killed and all that bullshit. Then it had been Northey and the Tenth Street Reds. She had been formidable and terrifying, a name no one really wanted coming to call on them. Then it had been the Alliance. Do it to make a difference, to make life better for humankind. Coming in as a fresh recruit into the Alliance after the First Contact War, she wondered just how long before she became cannon fodder.

But there was no denying that she was a living weapon, one reworked and honed by life. Her raw brutality from a young age had been molded into efficiency in the Reds and then proficiency in the Alliance.

She was always able to get the hob done, and that led to glowing reviews, somehow winding up in SACOCAS and with a rank of Lieutenant before she really thought it through. Then Akuze happened. And on the heels of that came the N program offer and a few more ranks.

She wiped the condensation from the mirror to look at the face there, really look at it. The arching eyebrows, sharp and wide cheekbones framing brown eyes and full lips…

This was the face of Elentari Shepard, her mask. This wasn’t her. Not her. She was… she was…

No no no. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly, forcing herself to even out her breath. That was the fugue talking, trying to wrap in tight around her. She continued the slow deep breaths as her mind scrabbled for lifelines. The rumbles of annoyance from Garrus as he calibrated the Thanix. The subtle thrum of the Normandy engines, felt more in the bones than on the skin. _Te creo. Creo en ti_. The soft murmur of conversations among crew members, like a heartbeat. Garrus’ hands cradling her face, their foreheads touching. _Elentari. Ebele. Name doesn’t matter, you’re you and I’ve always got your six._

__One last deep slow breath, and she opened her eyes, looking in the mirror again. She was Commander Elentari Shepard. She was whole, complete and definitely not cracking. Commander Elentari Shepard. N7. Alliance soldier. She saw Sovereign dead at the Battle of the Citadel. She took a team through the Omega 4 relay and brought every single one of them back after they obliterated the Collectors. Next, she’d find some way to kick the Reapers in their fucking collective teeth and make sure they were dead and gone._ _

__The sink creaked in protest as her grip tightened a bit but she didn’t relent. This was the last step, the biggest fucking jump she’d ever make in her life but she’d damned well see it done._ _

__The sound of the main door opening, caught her attention. She was already back behind the bathroom door when she heard the familiar sound of breakfast trays being placed down._ _

__“ _Desayuno!_ ” James called. “Starting to think the kitchen guy is sweet on me or something, I got pancakes, bacon and eggs.”_ _

__“ _Momentito, momentito_.” she was already reaching for the neatly folded undersuit on top of the toilet seat._ _

__Elentari quickly pulled it on and hung up the towel on the door peg before she stepped out. James was sitting on his usual wheeled stool, the trays arranged on the desk, with cups, carafe and such placed neatly at the side. Always neat, and always presentable, like he was setting a table anywhere else but a prison cell._ _

__It may have been a small veneer of normalcy but she did appreciate it._ _

__“Was starting to think you like hanging out in the bathroom.” James shifted forward, pushing her chair out for her._ _

__“It has it’s perks,” she shrugged taking off the lids as she sat down. She eyed the spread and then looked at James. “He must really be sweet on you. It’s ass o’clock in the morning.”_ _

__James snorted, gesturing to their plates. “Nearly seven ain’t close to ass o’clock. If anything, we’re running late today. _Aprisa_ , don’t want to leave the Admirals waiting.”_ _

__“Heaven forbid I’m late for those hot coals.” She groused dryly._ _

__The food looked good, smelled amazing and may as well have tasted like nutrient paste when she actually ate it. Silence settled in as they ate and she wasn’t sure how to describe it. Not quite awkward but there was a tension to it. She swallowed down her bite and looked at him. He was studying his last bite of pancakes thoughtfully, with a sombre look._ _

__“We both not feeling it today?” he finally asked._ _

__Elentari shook her head. “Guess not.”_ _

__Breakfast was quietly finished and they both headed to the newest installation in her room: the armour locker. James had made enough of a fuss to have light armour issued to her. She didn’t know what argument he used, but Elentari felt a damned sight better with it on. It wasn’t her Colosuss heavy armour, but she’d take it. It had extra first aid functions and special battery packs for shields._ _

__Cause they really needed her alive._ _

__She got it on, checking the seals as she went, while James finished up on his. His just had ammo packs everywhere and once he had the guns maglocked, he’d definitely be someone’s nightmare if they tried something._ _

__One flung rock got them all of this. Maybe another rock would get them that kitchenette?_ _

__“Last check?” James gestured to the bathroom._ _

__She nodded, darting in to look over herself. Makeup, she’d never bothered with but with her head now healed up, she really needed to get herself a haircut. Elentari was quick dragging the comb through and then brushing it neatly. She deftly fixed some stray eyebrows and then came back out._ _

__“ _Bien. Vamos_.”_ _

__It was now familiar habit, following behind James even if the sound of armor on her was new. As they met up with the security squad by the shuttle pad doors and James locked on his weapons, it was plain to see that this entire team had mobility and destruction in mind. Light to midweight armours were all around and the loadouts told her enough about the squad. She already knew Gjelstad was the medic, and he only packed a Carnifae. But everyone else, their weapons said maximum damage. Elentari could only guess who else was biotic or even did what else. The team had to be worth their weight in gold, otherwise, James wouldn’t have them on this detail._ _

__The doors slid open, fresh air rushing in as a welcome breeze. Elentari did have to admit that being cooped up inside was maybe starting to get to her. At least on the SR-2, she could run ground missions as need be. Training exercises had helped her build such disparate people into solid teams. A little fresh air, a little target practice, a little sparring, a little blood, it had worked wonders._ _

__She entertained the idea of asking for some outdoor time. Maybe if the logistics of it weren’t a nightmare for James. Guy had enough on his plate without her adding on one more complication that wasn’t entirely necessary._ _

__The shuttle door slid open and Elentari found herself pausing, looking up at the tips of the trees over the wall, the solid peach-pink sky overhead with the faint tendrils of blue creeping in._ _

__“Commander?”_ _

__The voice to her side made her turn and look. A black buzzcut like hers, but a question clearly written on those Asian features. Elentari raised a brow in question and now a confused fluster came to the woman’s face._ _

__“Is everything okay, Commander?”_ _

__“Hm. James?” she turned to look at his unimpressed face on the shuttle. “How is everything?”_ _

__“ _Por Dios_ , it’s fucking peachy. Now hop on.” He jerked a thumb inward._ _

__ “You heard the man: fucking peachy.” Elentari quipped as she stepped in and took her seat. _ _

__ “Don’t worry about it Kung,” James said as he spotted the woman’s evident confusion. “Commander’s idea of a not funny joke.” _ _

__ Elentari merely shrugged as she caught some of the squad members glance at her. The shuttle rose with a bit of a jerk but smoothed out once it was in flight. Quietness took over, just the noises of the shuttle operating and the occassional clank and creak of armour.The flight was maybe about twenty minutes in when she noticed the blonde with a bun was frowning, with her head cocked to the side.  _ _

__ All attention in the cabin shifted to her when she stood up and took the few steps to the cockpit door. _ _

__ “Brady?” that was all James asked. _ _

__ “I thought I heard -” _ _

__ The entire cabin went pitch black as the shuttle made a horrible juddering sound. There was a confusing moment of weightlessness and then the sharp yank of gravity sent them all slamming up against the ceiling. They were falling, and fast. Then suddenly, they were floating in the plummeting shuttle, the shimmering blue light of a Singularity flickering and eerie. _ _

__ “Everyone, form up on me, Shepard in the middle!” _ _

__ “Everyone on Azu!” James barked as he grabbed Elentari’s arm. _ _

__ Everything was suddenly spinning as James yanked her in. She barely had a moment to process it before other armoured bodied were clanking in, arms interlinking to hold them into place. Now came the flickering blue of a Barrier, but somehow wrapped around them, with the Singularity still in the middle keeping them aloft. _ _

__ It was a surreal experience to see a shuttle crash around them. Elentari could tell when it hit ground because everything jumped back up. Their Barrier bubble jounced a bit but they held up fairly well. There was the scrape and scream of metal grinding against something, and the acrid scent of smoke coming from the front. _ _

__ Then suddenly the Singularity flickered out and Azu dropped the barrier. A heap of armoured soldiers on a crashed shuttle floor was not how Elentari saw this day proceeding. Someone was already on their feet and had the flashlight running from their omnitool.  _ _

__ “Brady, get that door open, and Milque, get me a sitrep. Someone wanted us down for a reason and in a hurry.” _ _

__ Elentari got to her feet, dusting herself off as the other squad members did the same. The door hissed halfway open a few seconds later and they all squeezed out one by one. James made sure she was out dead last. Everyone else already had weapons up and primed from their defensive arc around the shuttle door. The sight of cookie-cutter industrial buildings were beside them, like a defensive bulwark. _ _

__ “We have shuttles inbound,” Milque said he lifted his recon goggles up. “Eight of them, still out about sixty clicks. We’ve got just under ten before they’re on us.” _ _

__ “Did you get a look at the shuttles? Any identifying marks or the like?” _ _

__ Milque shook his head. “No sir. They looked like regular roaches. We’ll probably have a better idea once they land.” _ _

__ “All right people, let’s hustle,” James unclipped his assault rifle. “On me.” _ _

__ It was so weird to start the quick run to a nearby building without a weapon in her hands. This warehouse had to be old, this side door still had a handle. James kicked open the door easily enough, making sure everyone was in before slamming it shut behind him and smashing the handle off. It wouldn’t do shit really besides slow down the inevitable assault for a precious few seconds. _ _

__ “Brady, get me a floorplan, now. Milque, how long we have left?” _ _

__ “Six minutes and counting,” was Milque’s reply as a small drone sped off, a wide scanning field rapidly rotating around it.  _ _

__ James wasn’t a half bad squad commander, Elentari mused as she watched him. He already had them in a secure location and was formulating a plan. And a plan was sure as fuck needed because Milque had counted eight shuttles coming. If each had a full deployment of twelve soldiers, that was ninety six enemies inbound, hundred and four if the pilots were counted. Motion by her side made her glance over to see Gjelstad handing a protein bar to Azu. There was a concerned look on his face, and frankly Elentari couldn’t blame him. What the hell was that stunt pulled back in the shuttle, she hadn’t seen anything like that before.  _ _

__ “Got it sir, sending you the floorplan now.” Brandy announced as her drone zipped back and got everyone’s attention. _ _

__ James stabbed a few buttons on his omnitool and the floorplan flashed up. It looked like a standard warehouse. One main level with tall racks of who knew what and offices on the smaller second level at the back. _ _

__ “No windows up here,” James pointed to one of the offices. “We take the high ground, hole up there as a fall back position,” he scanned the warehouse before fixing his attention on Brady and Kung. “I need you two to rig up promixity mines. All along the bottom,” he pointed to spots on the racks. “With a delayed timer to go off on your signal. Get it done, quick, then meet us at the upper landing.” He pointed to sole one on the floorplan. _ _

__ “Sir.” Both women saluted before disappearing into the warehouse.  _ _

__ Elentari fell in step behind James and the rest of the squad took points, keeping her boxed in. It looked like a storage warehouse of some sort and it was only when they hit the upper level that she finally spotted something useful. _ _

__ “Commander,” James sounded aggrieved as she dashed to a sealed fire kit. “Now isn’t the time.” _ _

__ “I don’t have a gun. If you think I’m going to just twiddle my thumbs, then think again.” She broke open the glass door and pulled out the heavy looking crowbar. _ _

__ James sighed as he came over, unclipping his pistol. It was also a Carnifex and the weight of it in her hand… holy shit, she had missed this. Not that she let go of the crowbar. She tucked it onto her back against the shotgun maglock. James dropped three heat sinks into her free hand. _ _

__ “You stay to cover and take fucking potshots when it’s safe to, am I understood?” _ _

__ “Sir.” Elentari replied dryly with a salute.  _ _

__ “Shit, you’re terrible being under command.“C’mon _princesa ____,” James shook his head. “Yeah, no, definitely not a _princesa_.”_ _ _

__ __The office was small and had tiny square windows that looked to more grey duracrete walls and a sliver of sky. Shit, she’d take a view of space over thins crap any day of the week. The desks had already been turned and dragged to form a barricade up against the corner facing the door and the window. James was by the door and he motioned everyone over back to the landing. Kung and Brady were coming up the steps two at a time, intent looks on their faces._ _ _ _

__ __“All right, I’m gonna send an SOS alert, it’s an open signal, so our guests are gonna be able to pinpoint out location. We have to hold the fort for fifteen minutes until an evac team gets to us. We keep the high ground for as long as we can then retreat back to our fallback point. Stay behind the railing, make ‘em pay for every foot they take. You two,” he looked at Kung and Brady. “Roll out the welcome mat when you’re ready.”_ _ _ _

__ __Everyone got into position and Shepard crouched down beside Gjelstad and Azu. Worst came to worst, Azu seemed like she’d unleash the full fury of her biotics and what Elentari had seen already was impressive as fuck. The silence was occasionally broken by the creak of armour from shifting and quick inhales. Then came a crash and flat sounding ‘thump’ from the door falling. Heavy boots came pounding in along with a single order, heard easily over the noise._ _ _ _

__ __“Fan out and find Shepard. Take her alive and kill the rest.”_ _ _ _

__ __Well, there was no mincing that. A whine from her pistol made her look down to see it glowing red. Even fucking better. A soft rustle of fabric made her look over to see Brady keying something into her omni-tool while Kung watched carefully._ _ _ _

__ __There was just the sound of boots running closer and then chaos erupted. Blasts went off, sowing confusion among the enemies. But then there was an ominous creaking sound and then rows of stacks came collapsing down in an almighty crash. Plumes of smoke and dust rose up and Kung stood up with a steely glint to her eyes._ _ _ _

__ __“Permission for us to clean house a bit sir?”_ _ _ _

__ __James gave a nod. “Lure ‘em here and we’ll give you fire support.”_ _ _ _

__ __Kung gave a nod and Brady went down with her into the haze. Elentari glanced over to see Milque resting his sniper rifle in the gap between two railing plates, peering through the scope and searching for something in the smoke._ _ _ _

__ __The crack of his shot was the opening salvo. Staccato burst of gunfire came now, shouts and orders barely heard through the ruckus. Every so often, the crack of a sniper shot came or the electronic sputtering of a dying drone along with the booming fire bloom of a grenade exploding. And not even a few minutes later, Kung and Brady came barrelling back up the stairs, shots hitting their flickering shields. Once the enemies were in range, Azu flung up a Singularity catching some of their pursuers in the well. They floated in the air, helpless to the burning crossfire now raining through them to the other enemies trying to charge up the stairs. Milque had switched from his rifle to a scoped assault rifle and was still picking them off as they swarmed up the stairs._ _ _ _

__ __Elentari did the same, aiming for the throat and head as she shot and counted. Dropped that one, fifty six left. Now this motherfucker had shields, shit shit. Forty eight left and now forty six because those two were nearly on top of James. Each kill had a count and she was rapidly reaching zero faster than she wanted. Once she loaded up her last clip in the pistol, she holstered it. The crowbar came out now, her grip firm on the straight end._ _ _ _

__ __And there was a soldier right on front of them. She leaned around the railing, whipping the curved end right at their knee. The crack was heard and they dropped hard as she flipped the crowbar in her hand and stabbed down at their head. It crunched through the helmet and the body jerked a few times before it went still. Elentari shifted, kicking the body back down the stairs to free up her weapon and trip up the enemies still trying to get up the now slick steps._ _ _ _

__ __Duracrete and glass came raining out from the other office. The wall had been blasted out and soldiers came pouring out._ _ _ _

__ __“Fall back!” James roared._ _ _ _

__ __Azu was quick, darting to the landing and casting a Barrier. Everyone scrambled to get to the office, while Azu followed up on their six, keeping the Barrier up. Once she was in the office, Brady got the door shut, fritzing it so the green lock disappeared. They dashed and then vaulted over the makeshift barricade. For a few minutes there was quiet, enough time for Azu to wolf down another protein bar. She hadn’t even crumpled the wrapper in her hand when duracrete exploded in, making them all duck behind the desks to avoid shrapnel. Gjelstad threw a Stasis, freezing a clump of of them as they surged through. James didn’t waste a moment, firing off a Carnage at the trapped soldiers._ _ _ _

__ __Gaping wounds blossomed and once the Stasis wore off, the bloody stopgap collapsed. Some more soldiers came pouring in. Eletari watched as James activated a grenade and sent it right down the gullet. There was a moment and then a burst of fire from the other side of the hole. But no more soldiers came in. Shit, Kung and Brady must have taken a good chunk of their forces when they destroyed the shelving units._ _ _ _

__ __Suddenly looking at the remaining soldiers, Elentari felt a kind of fury take hold of her. She was so fucking done with fucking being behind barricades and having to mind what she was saying and doing. She was gonna goddamn do something._ _ _ _

__ __Before she even thought about it, she had vaulted herself over the barricade, even as James swore. She barrelled towards the soldiers, shooting through shields and taking the few headshots she could before her clip was finished. Then it was all close quarters fighting, smashing her crowbar against what she could, her shields flickering before they died. She took a few hits before she headbutted someone and used their dazed body as a shield._ _ _ _

__ __Blurs of motion beside her made look to see Kung smashing the butt of her Eviscerator against a helmet. Then a firm foot sent them reeling back against the last soldier. Two solid shots finished off the last of their assailants. Elentari looked down to see she’d killed five soldiers herself. Kung had one beside her and the bodies sliding down the wall. When she looked at Kung, the woman gave a shy grin. Elentari felt one come to her face as well, but it vanished just as quick when she saw James come towards them, his face furious._ _ _ _

__ __“ _Me estas jodiendo en serio__ _ __? What the fuck did I order you to do?”_ _ _ _

____Ah fuck. “Stay in cover and take potshots.”_ _ _ _

____“Oh, so you can fucking hear. You just decided to disobey a direct order.” James held out his hand. “Pistol and crowbar.”_ _ _ _

____Elentari handed them over. “Sir,”_ _ _ _

____“You have no fucking helmet and your shields died where you had no goddamn cover. Enemies are not supposed to be fucking shield replacements for when yours die. The next words out of your mouth had better be sorry sir. ”_ _ _ _

____“Sir, sorry sir.” Elentari snapped out a salute._ _ _ _

____James gave a ‘tch’. “Gjelstad, patch her up. Our evac should be here in five. We’re heading back. Full debrief once the Commander is safe.”_ _ _ _

____“No court today then?” Milque was the only one who dared to speak._ _ _ _

____The look on James’ face could have made a krogan cower. “No court. I’m going to go send a position flare.”_ _ _ _

____Everything was a bit tense as James stepped out of the room. Gjelstad came over with a dusty chair and made her sit down in it. He seemed weirdly focused on her face. With a sigh, he reached for a blister pack of medigel and stitch capsule._ _ _ _

____“So, if this had been an inch over and up, you’d be dead on the floor.” He delicately smeared medigel on the wound on her face before he broke the top of the stitch capsule and squeezed. A small sponge popped up and liquid seeped up. He was quick, pressing her skin together and swiping the sponge over it. Fuck, she hadn’t even realised something had grazed her. And pretty deep and long too by the feel of it. No wonder James had been ready to murder her himself._ _ _ _

____“How are you feeling though, Commander?” Gjelstad asked quietly. When she narrowed her eyes at him, he shrugged, “An former advisor with a fondness of a particular ice brandy asked me to keep an eye out.”_ _ _ _

____Oh. When she got through this, Chakwas could have all the Serrice brandy she wanted. “Re-instated?”_ _ _ _

____“Please follow my finger,” Gjelstad held up his index finger, moving it from side to side. “Three weeks ago. But I’m just checking to make sure you don’t have another concussion. I can’t believe you headbutted someone with a helmet. I mean, I’ve heard some stories but that was…” he trailed off._ _ _ _

____Elentari snorted. “I got a hard head.” She was pretty sure most of it was metal plating now._ _ _ _

____“Alright, you’re fine. I need to go check on our other resident biotic who probably needs another protein bar. I seem to have landed myself a detail full of insane risk-takers. And that’s saying something.”_ _ _ _

____“You get that from her?” Elentari chuckled softly._ _ _ _

____“She was an excellent advisor and taught me the value of prudence. I don’t need to take Lieutenant Vega’s blood pressure to know it’s ridiculous. Try to not make it worse.”_ _ _ _

____All Elentari did was nod. She was gonna have enough fallout with James to deal with. Not raising his blood pressure was the least she could do._ _ _ _


	11. Vakarian

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday everyone! Here's a new chapter. :)

This week had been nothing short of hellish. One kidnapping attempt on Shepard had turned everything into a logistical nightmare. James had clamped down on everything until his request for Shepard to be moved to Alliance HQ was approved.

If they wanted Shepard there to testify in person, they could damned well keep her on site. No more goddamn circus.

The approval also meant that the security squad wasn’t precisely needed anymore. He still had them on standby to escort Shepard to and from her quarters to the courtroom. Overkill, probably, but James wasn’t leaving anything to chance. He’d made sure to write glowing reviews for them in his own report, because James had read the evac teams report. Eight landed shuttles meant that a group of seven people had held against an assault of just over a hundred.That should have been a commendation in his book.

Shepard had been… unusually compliant since the attempted kidnapping. Though, she had flat out said it. She fucked up, it hadn’t been her intent to disobey direct orders and she would accept whatever punishment he deemed necessary.

To be honest, James was surprised more at himself for tearing a strip off her like that. But seriously, it had all be going fine until it hadn’t. Like Shepard had seen that grenade go off and no one else come in and figured she’d crack some skulls herself. 

James’ heart had kinda stopped for a moment watching her vault over the barricade and go in blazing, pistol firing and then crowbar swinging. Hadn’t she seen the knife coming for her face before she headbutted the soldier? An inch up and over and she’d have smashed her own face on to it. 

A second failed command wasn’t a notch James wanted. Anderson’s call after he submitted his report should have said it all. It seemed that sometimes, haring off and doing shit was kind of Shepard’s thing. James was staring to think her mission reports from 2183 might have something to do with Anderson’s grey hairs.

And even in the midst of all the paperwork and moving Shepard to Alliance HQ, a small request hadn’t escaped his notice. It came bearing notifications from the Hierarchy and was a visiting request from one Garrus Vakarian. It also didn’t escape his notice that the date requested was also the same day as Shepard’s next court appearance and also for a private visit. He approved it and sent it to Anderson for clearance.

Sure enough when the day rolled around, Shao had uttered the words, “The defense calls Garrus Vakarian to the stand.”

Vakarian walked easily to the stand, his black and blue armour nearly blending in with the Alliance colours. Vakarian took the stand and it was obvious he’d done this before. It was probably par for course with C-Sec investigations . His answers were short, to the point and he certainly didn’t hesitate to be blunt when pressed. 

James’ particular favourite was, “Did you all conveniently forget that Commander Shepard has the extinction of the Protheans burned into her mind? Of course I’ll come to ask the one person who knows how bad it will get.” And when further pressed about why he came, Vakarian had stared Fieller right in the eye and smoothly uttered, “Classified by the highest levels of the Hierarchy. You can try but…”

Then he had shrugged. _Shrugged_. Goddamn,James was finding that being a rock was really hard sometimes.

Once everyone was done with Vakarian, he was sent on his way and Shepard dragged up to explain about her supposed defection to Cerberus and just precisely why she went to Alchera.

By the time, they got back to her quarters, Shepard looked exhausted. It was close to dinner time but she still had this visit. It was Garrus Vakarian, he’d come a long way and his was one of the two names on her list. 

“Are they going to let him see me?”

That was all Shepard had asked him when the door to her quarters closed.

“I don’t know. Nothing’s come through on my end,” James checked his omni-tool again. Still, _nada_. “I’ll go see if he’s around still.”

“ _Muchas gracias_.” Shepard gave a small, tired grin.

James gave a small nod of his head and left the room. He turned to look at the far end of the hallway and sure enough, there was Vakarian at the guarded entrance, flanked by two turians that just gave an impression of lethality. Their hands were gloved but James was willing to bet their talons weren’t dulled.

“ _Domine_ Vakarian, I’m Liuetenant Vega,” James said with a quick salute. “I’m sure the clearance will be coming through any moment now.”

There was a moment, where Vakarian’s mandibles clenched in tight. The precise opposite of how his guards’ own fluttered a bit. Yeah, James had done his homework when he’d seen that request come through. He had no idea of Vakarian exact position in the Hierarchy but James was willing to bet Vakarian outranked him by miles.

“Right.” Vakarian nodded, quiet for a beat before he said, “So, it only took a kidnapping attempt for her to be taken a bit more seriously.” 

How in the damned hell did Vakarian learn about that? It was classified, under a need to know basis because of suspected Cerberus involvement. To know when and where to strike meant there was a leak somewhere.

“Word gets around.” Vakarian offered, his mandibles clacking gently.

It probably did at whatever level Vakarian was at. All James did was nod once, wondering just when that clearance would come through. It could come through any moment now, since the silence was going from polite to awkward really quick. Maybe this wouldn’t be so awkward if James didn’t know how much Vakarian meant to Shepard? At least there wasn’t any attempt at small talk. James would have had no idea what to say really. Hey, how’s it going. You know, she dreams about you sometimes? Yeah, no, James wasn’t doing that.

The silence stretched on and when the beep came from his omni-tool, James couldn’t pull it up fast enough. _'Private visit approved, clearance granted by Hackett. Vakarian’s guards to remain under your supervision for duration of visit._

“If you’ll follow me, _Domine_ Vakarian.” James turned and nodded to the guards before he started down the hall. When he came to a stop before Shepard’s door, looked at Vakarian. Damn, the guy had some presence with that steady gaze and scarred face. “Private visit for one hour, as requested.”

He hit the lock and the door opened. He heard the sound of Shepard getting up from the bed.

“Garrus.”

That was all he heard before the door slid shut and the lock turned red. But her tone said plenty. Vakarian’s guards were standing by the window, and James took position by the door. He let a few more minutes pass before he opened his omni-tool and set up a timer. That got something of a reaction from the turian guards. At least, James thought it did. He could have sworn he saw a mandible flutter from the one with ochre plates and purplish markings. The one with pale silverish plates… maybe an eyeplate rose?

One thing that James kinda sucked at was reading turian body language. His turian poker buddy on Omega had made him work for every damned cred won. Speaking of, he should send another message to Telio when he had a chance. The guy was alright and not totally a write-off. Last time James wrote him was before officially starting his guard duty, one of a million messages he’d sent when he had the chance before the Normandy arrived on Earth. In his last message, Telio was talking about some changes coming to the Talons and maybe joining up. It didn’t jibe with what he knew of the guy and James never had a chance to tell him to stay the fuck away.

Yeah, he’d see if he could send a message tonight. And hopefully Telio hadn’t done something colossally stupid. James eyed Vakarian’s guards for a moment, wondering if he should even bother with conversation. Something about these guys didn’t make James think they were really chatty. And shit, was that silver plated one barefaced? James couldn’t see a single damned marking anywhere.

Be careful with the barefaced. Either they’re working undercover and don’t want blowback on their clan or they’ve renounced their clan and are for no one but themselves. You have to watch out for yourself with them. Telio’s words were lingering in James’ mind as he tried really hard to not look at the turian. 

If it was the former, okay then, but why the hell work undercover for someone like Vakarian in the Hierarchy. The only sort of specialized groups in the Hierarchy that came to mind were the Cabals and Blackwatch. Why keep that kind of eye on Vakarian? If it was the latter, then why would someone renounce their clan? Clan and family were a big thing in turian culture. Had to have been some hell of a circumstance.

Now the silver plated one made a huff of annoyance. “Do you need something Lieutenant?”

James looked back over, startled. Yeah, he seriously didn’t see any marks and with Telio’s words pinging in his mind, he just blurted out the first thing to come to mind. “Your plates.”

Now the turian narrowed his eyes, a crackle of energy making the air feel electrified. Shit, and he was a biotic? 

“What of them?” the turian growled.

“They’re nice.” James said. And they really were but he sure as hell wasn’t going to admit he was intensely curious about the lack of clan markings. “Just… they’re really nice, uh...”

The turian just stared at James like he grew another head before finally saying,. “Major Arcilius.”

“Well, they’re really nice, Major.” 

James gave a nod of his head and decided that looking back out the window was the thing to do. Shit, he sucked at this small talk crap with attractive people. The ochre plated turian made a weird sound, like something trapped between a laugh and a rumble. James could feel Arcilius staring at him, as if trying to decipher the mess of words just said. When James glanced over and raised an eyebrow in question, Arcilius blinked in surprise before mumbling out a ‘Thank you’ before pointedly looking at the red door lock.

The other turian was making that weird sound still and shit, there was probably still about fifty minutes to go. 

James was almost starting to wish Shepard had been granted a supervised visit. That would have been an entirely different kind of awkward that James could handle. Being an obvious third wheel, that had been his thing in high school, had it down like a pro.

“I’m Major Silanus,” the ochre plated turian drawled in amusement. “How long have you been on this detail, Lieutenant Vega?”

“Awhile.” James shifted his attention to Silanus. “Yourself?”

“Awhile,” Silanus gave a nod of his head, mandibles flaring a bit. “So far, pretty straight forward. Today’s been the most exciting thing that happened.”

Now that, James found hard to believe. “Waiting outside a courtroom?”

“Oh no, I meant this,” Silanus gestured between James and Arcilius. “You two aren’t going to keep talking?”

The emphatic “No!” from both James and Arcilius made Silanus drop his mandibles a bit. Was… was that a pout?

“That definitely would make the hour pass. I mean - ”

“I’m fine with staring at the door.” Arcilius ground out. 

“Yeah. Window.” James said as he stared back out to the other side of Alliance HQ. Definitely time to be a rock.

“You two are no fun,” Silanus declared with a huff. “Staring at the wall it is.”

The rest of the hour seemed to drag by. A few birds flew by, and in the far courtyard, James was really hoping those two squirrels fought for a little bit longer.The one with the bushy tail was holding his own, but that smaller one was a scrapper alright. This was officially the longest forty minutes of James Aldemo Vega’s life.

When the timer beeped, James took it as the minor miracle that it was. He keyed in his code to unlock the door. It went from red to green and he waited a few moments before opening the door.

Shepard and Vakarian were standing there, foreheads touching and hands clasped together. James could see something wrapped around her wrist gleaming silver in the sunlight.

James cleared his throat, standing at parade rest. “Commander, _Domine_ Vakarian, hour’s up.”

For a moment, Shepard didn’t move before she took a step back, slowly pulling her hands away from Vakarian’s. “Can you see the _Domine_ to his shuttle, lieutenant?”

Something in Shepard’s expression made him nod. She definitely wanted and needed a moment to herself. James stood to the side as Vakarian came out. He made sure the door was locked back to red. The entire walk to the shuttle area was silent. Though, Arcilius was still looking at anything other than James and Silanus seemed far too smug and knowing. If Vakarian was bothered by the tense atmosphere, he didn’t let it show. It was only when they were on the landing pad, halfway to the shuttle that Vakarian stopped. James watched as he motioned the other two on.

“Keep her whole. She’s the best chance we have of winning the war,” Vakarian eyed him up. “And yeah, you do get used to her giving you heart attacks.”

James gave a dry snort. “I’m surprised I didn’t go grey and age five years.”

“Work with Shepard long enough and you learn how to cope. Well, cope or go a little mad. Maybe a little of both, but you’ll figure it out.” Vakarian gave a nod of his head. “Lieutenant.”

“ _Domine_.” James snapped out a salute.

He watched as Vakarian walked to the shuttle and hopped on, Silanus and Arcilius waiting by the door. The shuttle took off once it was shut and James was thoughtful all the way back to Shepard’s quarters. She was sitting by the window, focused on something in her lap. James came over, pulling up the wheeled stool. 

It was a delicate chain looped around her wrist a few times, the silver cool against her skin tone. There were pale yellow discs on some links, the marled pattern catching the light with a subtle gleam. Shepard was gently rubbing her thumb over one of them, her brow furrowed slightly. After a moment, she looked over to him. 

“You have to take it don’t you?”

“Yeah,” James reached into his back pocket and pulled out a handkerchief. “I’ll get it back to you.”

Shepard nodded as she unclasped it, slowly unwinding it from her wrist to place it in the handkerchief. “Were there any other visitor requests?”

“No, just Garrus Vakarian,” James could see where she was headed with this. “Nothing from Kaidan Alenko yet.”

“Mm.” 

For a moment, Shepard didn’t say a thing before she took a deep breath. James watched her, waiting for the question to come. But all she did was look at him and grin.

“So, what’s for dinner then?”

“Whatever I can get from _guapo_ down there in the kitchen.”

“ _Guapo_ , huh?” Shepard held up her hands as she got up from the bed. “Far be it from me to keep you from your date, James.”

“Yeah yeah, at least he isn’t weird about a compliment.” James got to his feet now. 

“What?” Shepard looked confused. “What happened when you were out in the hallway?”

Oh hell no, James was not reliving that. “Tell you what, if you don’t press for an answer, I won’t ask about that on your neck.”

It had been a bit hard to see, but there was a telltale looking mark just peeking out from the collar of her shirt. James wouldn’t go so far as to call it a hickey, but it was awfully suspect to being called a ‘love bite’. Shepard’s hand went to it, rubbing it a bit before pulling the collar up and hiding it completely.

“So,” Shepard drawled. “Dinner then?”

James nodded and gave a quick salute with a grin before he left the room. The upside to being in Alliance HQ now was that it was far easier to get a hold of Anderson if need be. There was an actual office that he was usually in and everything. James made a beeline for it on the thirtieth floor. The lock was red and when he keyed in his passcode, it buzzed for a moment before remaining red.

“All right then. Busy.” James mused as he headed back for the elevator.

Security was back down on the tenth floor, so at least it was on the way to the mess hall. The upside of the clearance Anderson gave him was that it fast-tracked a lot of things. Paperwork, requests - well, usually - and screening things for Shepard was done lickety-split. He was only waiting maybe ten minutes while the jewelry was tested, examined and deemed untampered.

Mess hall looked like it was quieting down when James came in and made a beeline for the back. There was the usual cook, flour dusted up his arms as he kneaded some dough. James wasn’t waiting too long for dinner, watching as the cook’s hands flew as he prepped their meals, even bothering to chat in between yelling out orders. The grin James received as the trolley was loaded up was positively criminal and he could feel the blush come to his face. When James got back to the room and set up dinner at the table, Shepard gave a low whistle.

“Pot pies and a fancy ass galette? Holy shit, wine too?! James, I think the kitchen guy is sweet on you.” Shepard pulled her chair in a bit more. “Get his number, you’re not going to be guarding me forever. ”

James rubbed at the back of his neck before reaching into his pocket for the wrapped jewelry. He gave it to Shepard with a shrug, “Maybe. But first things first,” he settled down on his stool. “You gotta eat. Can’t go fighting Reapers with how you’ve been eating lately.”

“Nag, nag, nag.” Shepard waved a hand as she wrapped the chain around her wrist again. It gleamed as she got started on her pot pie. “And thank you James.”

_ “No te preocupes.” _

Shepard made a frustrated sound before she shook her head. “No, I mean it. Bahak was a nightmare, this trial is quickly becoming a fucking joke and just…” she gave a half shrug. _“No tienes pelos en la lengua. Lo apreció más de lo crees.”_

“Oh, well,” James fell quiet for a second. “Pretty sure if I tried to bullshit you, I’d just get called on it. Besides, like I could ever bullshit Commander Shepard.”

Shepard snorted with laughter. “Did you just try to spin me?”

“Maybe a little bit. But with the truth.”

“Just eat your pot pie, James.” Shepard chuckled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> James Vega may be the newest galactic heartthrob (thank you for that ME:A - Initiation) but he's sometimes not the best at the small talk with attractive people. And I fully subscribe to bisexual!James.
> 
> I went with 'domine' as the general term of respect lower ranking turians would use for higher ranked members actively serving in the military. Pretty much the equivalent of 'sir'.
> 
> Also, more cameos are coming. You'll know when you see the chapter title. LOL


	12. Viral

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it's nearly 1 AM where I am, so happy Monday! Have another chapter to start the week off right. :D
> 
> Also, please direct some love to [Antauge](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Antauge/pseuds/Antauge)'s way. Because they are amazing for helping with translations. Especially when I was like, "Heyo, here's 5 chapters worth."

4 AM omni-tool alerts were not a normal thing for James. Well, they had been on Omega. But Alliance HQ? Not even Anderson sent him reports and the like so early. He scrubbed at his face as he opened his tool and pulled up his inbox. Sitting there were two curiously named files. One simply called, ‘shepardvisview01’ and the other named, “fireteamvisview02’.

For a moment, all James did was stare at it. The names looked like that spam crap from porn sites. One click and his cred account would be seriously compromised. But it somehow got through Traynor’s three levels of encryption which was nothing to sniff at. Someone went to a lot of trouble to make sure he got these files.And to go through that much trouble meant there must be a damned good reason. 

After a moment, he pulled up the file scanner and ran the files through it. No big surprise, they came back clean. He looked between the two before he clicked on the fireteam file.

His blood froze and a chill swept over him as he found himself looking at a massive entrance to a Collector ship. There was no mistaking that strange mix of insectile hive and engineered metals. There was a Vindicator held in a gauntleted three-fingered hand, the red glow of Incendiary ammo primed and ready. James would bet his eye teeth that it was Garrus Vakarian.

‘ _All right Fire Team. See you on the other side._ ’

Shepard’s voice crackled through on the radio, hard as steel. The view shifted and James watched as someone’s feet vanished into a duct. Shepard was standing there beside a grizzled looking man and a slim brunette woman in a catsuit. They seemed to be talking for a moment before weapons were checked over before they walked into the room.

"It’s Shepard. She’ll be fine, Garrus. I mean, she may punch some of them in the face…"

A purple suited quarian stood to the side, shrugging. Garrus gave a huff and then, "I pity Harbinger. She punches hard. All right team. Form up!"

The rest of team did, falling into line and shit, just looking at them, they all oozed lethality. Between the massive krogan and the half naked, tattooed woman with wide grins that promised pain to the calm drell and asari who crackled with biotics, this team looked like it would obliterate through any obstacle.

"We all know the plan. So when we get to that door, we hold it until Shepard’s team comes through. We make them pay for every damned step they think they can take towards us."

"Fuck yeah," the tattooed woman… no, Jack was her name, if James recalled right. Jack was crackling with biotics now. "Time to make these sonsofbitches burn."

Garrus nodded, mandibles flaring slightly in a grin. "Watch your sixes, keep together and like Jack said," there came whines from guns as they all lit up with different ammo mods. "Make them burn."

And just a minute later, that’s exactly what they did. The walk into the base was the calm before the storm. Swarms of Collectors came down, some of them knocked down from the sky before they even landed. Biotics flashed and bullets rained as the Collectors tried to stop them to no avail. Their progress was inexorable as they sliced through, fury and fire clearing their way.

When they reached the door, they’d wiped out the assault before them and made it through and not a moment too soon because Shepard was on the other side of the door. Shepard and her team came in hot, gunfire raining in with them. Garrus ran over, giving cover as Shepard darted through last. Everything swayed a bit as he grunted before he kept up cover fire until the door slammed shut.

Shepard was beside him in an instant, the steel in her eyes relenting long enough as she looked at him.

"I’m fine." Garrus said as he stood back up properly. 

For a moment, all Shepard did was look at him before she nodded, listening to something on her headset. Then they were splitting up again, the grizzled veteran with Shepard still but this time, she took the drell and Jack with her. 

"Vakarian, you’re still in charge. See you all on the other side."

Garrus nodded, watching as Jack threw up a shield and they all walked through a door into a hallway. 

The ominious sound of Seeker Swarms wasn’t something James could ever forget. It was a needling buzz that clawed down his nerves. And there was Shepard, walking into the thick of it like it was fucking nothing. 

More Collectors swarmed out of nowhere and the bullets were flying again. Biotics made the Collectors into ragdolls, slamming down to the ground before flinging them away and Grunt seemed to take a particular delight into charging into them, ditching the gun in favor of ripping Collectors apart with his bare hands. There was even a whole procedure: headbutt to stun, rip off wings to prevent escape, fling to ground and smash in head with foot. And that wasn’t even counting the number of times he simply tossed one into a bunch and let the others finish off the confused pile. 

And Legion… Legion was something to behold and honestly made James wish the geth were on their side. Legion was just… mathematical precision on the field. Rapid-fire calculation yielded the most kills per shot and when it was necessary to engage in close-quarters “combat”. Given how many times that seemed to be a pistol shot at point-blank range, James wasn’t too sure if that counted. 

They made it to the next door, everyone getting through. The door to their left opened and Shepard, the drell and the grizzled merc came rushing in. Jack was last through, full of swagger and a sneer on her face. 

The room was large, a gigantic circular opening off in the distance. But now Shepard was hopping up on some raised platform and speaking. There was always something to Shepard when she gave speeches. Her speech after the Akuze tragedy had garnered a shitton of views on GalatiVid. There was an quiet intensity and power when she spoke that riveted attention. So when she spoke of them holding to end the Collector threat once and for all, it wasn’t surprising to see everyone else stand up straighter, despite the gruelling fights they just went though. Heads were nodding and determination flared up bright and clear to see. 

So when Shepard took the drell and Jack with her, it was Garrus left behind to watch her platform disappear through that circular opening. And it was to Garrus that gazes turned to next.

"Grab a bite, and dump out any heat sinks you have left."

Rapid bites were taken of energy bars as the heat sinks were quickly counted and divided up along the defensive line. Every one came packing because the piles were sizable. Everyone was glancing at the door now and then, hearing skittering from the other side growing louder and louder. 

They’d barely finished their energy bars before the doors were screeching open and chittering Collectors came rushing for them.

"Make it count!" Garrus roared.

The wrath of the Collectors poured down on them. Wave after wave came, breaking against their gunfire and biotics. Concussive blasts echoed as Pulled clumps were sent flying. Patches of them burned, spreading it to others. Some of them writhed as they were Warped and Reaved before a Shockwave sent them flying back hard enough to kill. 

Jack’s scream of, "Death Bug!" had Garrus looking back to the door to see a Praetorian approaching from a distance. 

"Keep them off me!" Garrus barked as he held up a massive gun that spun as it primed. 

Everyone else did just that, Garrus standing still with a sniper’s patience as the gun primed and the Praetorian drew closer. And just as it approached the doors, the gun beeped and Garrus let the shot fly. For a moment, James thought the gun was broken. That tiny little speck was supposed to…

He took it all back a second later as a mushroom cloud bloomed, temporarily blinding with its light. When the vid cleared up, all the Collectors were gone and it was a weak Praetorian trying to get back to its feet. Not that it really could with gunfire raining down on it to finish the job. It disintegrated a few seconds later.

Then everyone was trying to stay upright, as something shook the entire ship. Shepard’s voice popped up crystal clear on the radio.

 _'Get everyone back to the ship, Garrus. I’m irradiating the base. I’ll be on your six in a few._ '

“Got it,” Garrus looked at everyone. “Back to the ship now.”

It was another fight, Collectors still falling to them as they made their way back. As soon as they set foot on the ship, Garrus was heading for the elevator. When he arrived on the third floor and turned the corner, the medbay doors were open, Mordin and Chakwas in full swing. The survivors were looking haunted and a bit disoriented but they were all present and accounted for. 

The vid cut there and James was already clicking on the next one before he even thought about it. This one was Shepard’s visor cam and it was more of the same. Only there was a mad dash to get Legion though the duct before he melted or malfunctioned or the like. Then fighting husks and some fucking exploding ones while staying under an impressive biotic shield. And at the end, Jack flared out that shield like a steam roller at the end of that long walk, so he really couldn’t fault her swagger now. 

And when Shepard and her team got into that room, nothing could have prepared James for that… abomination that loomed into view. A Human Reaper. A fucking Human Reaper. Shepard didn’t waste time, pulling out a massive sniper rifle and shooting two feeding tubes before protective shields fell into place. 

More Collectors swarmed on them, the drell and Jack taking them out, while Shepard focused on the one that fixated on her. Watching them move, how they supported each other, James could tell this wasn’t the first time they’d fought together. Even when Shepard took out the last two tubes and the Reaper fell, James felt a fierce surge of pride. Good, took that fucker out… or not. The thing managed to crawl back up and now it was a game of cat and mouse on a clock. The Human Reaper did it’s best to kill them, even with more Collectors coming. But Shepard was calm, the crack of her rifle echoing out as she took timed shots.

His heart was honestly in his throat when there was a lull in Collectors and Shepard stood up. The Human Reaper was priming that massive chest cannon for a shot. Shepard’s breathing was even as even as she sighted along the gun, aiming for the eyes. One shot, took out an eye and even as the glow of the cannon grew brighter, she swung the gun muzzle to sight on the last one, firing off a shot as soon as she had one. 

Everything went haywire as the Human Reaper screeched and fell. Platforms started spinning and colliding, knocking everyone off their feet. The drell started sliding off as their platform tilted, fingers scrabbling for a grip anywhere. 

Shepard flung herself towards the drell, grabbing his hand just before the platform levelled out. Jack lurched over and they managed to stay on as their platform collided with one still docked. Metal went flying, the world spinning as Shepard was launched forward and then everything went dark. James looked at the countdown on the screen, six minutes, they had six minutes before the base was irradiated. 

When Shepard groaned, getting to her feet, James let loose a sigh of relief he didn’t realise he was holding. Shepard got her team mates up quick and then she was covering them as they ran, Seeker swarms swirling angrily as she shot at them before they gave chase again. 

He could see Joker at the airlock, giving some cover fire. Jack and the drell launched themselves into the waiting Normandy airlock, the remaining platforms knocked away from falling debris after they flew across the gap. Shepard’s breathing grew harsher as she sped up, seeing she’d need that crucial bit of speed. And when she launched herself, even James could see that she was gonna be short. She hit the side of the airlock hard, the air rushing out of her in a grunt. But Jack was there, hauling her up as Joker gave cover fire. 

Her visor showed not even fifteen second and counting as Shepard made her way to the cockpit with a synthesized voice counted down as well.

“Yeah, I get the gist of it EDI!” Joker sat in his seat, fingers moving to the console. “Hold on!

Motion to the side made Shepard look over to see Jack and the drell standing beside her, watching. James listened as the countdown approached zero and Joker swore, navigating through the debris field to clear space as fast as possible.

“EDI, we’ve got a blast wave coming in, FTL us somewhere!”

“On it.” The simple reply was followed the console lighting up, buttons flashing too rapidly for James to follow. “Course plotted. Prepare for FTL.”

The stars at the cockpit window bled into lines as they jumped, an audible sigh of relief coming from Joker. “Where are we headed EDI?”

“Hawking ETA, we should be there with four days. However, our first stop is the Arpaio Wave. It is a small system with a planet suitable for discharging.”

“Good. EDI, compile a list of all needed repairs. Joker, give EDI a hand with that and as soon as we get to the Hawking relay, get us to Ilium," Shepard gave a sardonic chuckle. "I need to go have a little chat with our former employer.”

“I get to keep my leather seats, right?” Joker called after her.

Shepard made her way to a conference room, moving pillars out of the way to pull up some fancy looking QEC. The man who appeared looked like every asshole who thought they could buy everything. But listening to Shepard talk to him, James felt like he was listening to two very different conversations. This man was banging on about human dominance and Shepard was pointedly bringing up the Reapers. It finally ended with the man looking angry as Shepard told Joker to lose the connection. When she left the conference room, Garrus was waiting on the other side of the door, leaning against the wall.

“You’re seriously giving the base to that _verpa_?” Garrus sounded worried.

“Not if I can get the Alliance there first. I trust the Illusive Man as far as I can throw his bigoted ass. I’ll see abut having EDI start extraction of the IFF protocols after repairs are- Garrus?” she paused as he sagged back against the wall.

“I’m fine, it’s not a big deal.”

“I swear to God Garrus, if you’re bleeding out in your armour…” the telltale clacking of his mandibles had her pressing a hand to his waist. “Shit.”

“Chakwas is busy now -” he started.

“So I’ll patch you up. How bad is it?”

“Not bad.”

Now, James knew Shepard was strong. She had muscles for days, but the kind from practical use, not buliding bulk. But it was still something to see her pick up Garrus. It obviously was a surprise to Garrus since he made an undignified squawking sound as Shepard headed for the elevator. 

“Spirits, I didn’t think you’d actually pick me up.” Garrus had an arm around her shoulder to stabilize himself. 

“What can I say?” Shepard sounded very amused as she walked on to the elevator and it starrted its ascent. “Found a new way to sweep you off your feet Garrus.”

“Don’t humans have something about carrying people through doorways?”

“We do, however, I’m more concerned about this idiot who was probably slowly bleeding out the entire time on the Collector base.”

“Ah, you can’t resist this face. The rugged good looks, the scars…”

“I think you’ve been watching too much Fleet and Flotilla with Tali.” 

Shepard walked into some swanky looking captain’s quarters. She went down a short flight of stairs, easing Vakarian down onto a couch. Her gauntlets were pulled off quickly and she made short work of Vakarian’s armour, stripping him out of it until he was down to his undersuit. A damp bluish patch was clear enough on the dark fabric. 

Swearing, Shepard stripped off her upper armour in a trail as she went to a drawer and pulled out a kit and a blanket. When she turned back around, Garrus was looking at her with his crest flared slightly.

“Don’t stop on my account, you’ve still got armour on.”

That got a snort of laughter from Shepard. “Later big guy. Let’s see how bad the damage is first.”

“So,” Garrus drawled. “You’re not gonna get too mad, right?”

“Oh, that’s a good start.” Shepard riffled through the kit finding a pair of scissors. “And don’t complain, I’ll buy you a new one when we get to Ilium.”

She took the scissors to the damp patch at the top of Vakarian’s waist, revealing blood smeared tan-coloured hide with a large hole that seemed to be aggravated by motion.

“Should have known you’d want to cut me out of my clothes one day.”

“Jesus,” Shepard sounded amused and annoyed. “Says the turian who can’t let me keep a damned pair of panties.”

Okay, that was more than James ever really wanted to know about Shepard’s sex life. 

Shepard and Vakarian kept the banter up, as she disinfected her hands and set to cleaning the wound and patching it up. Though it was the cleaning part that had Garrus growling viciously. A bath of turian brandy had to sting. Shepard merely tutted as she deftly threaded a needle with the suture thread. 

“Be glad there was numbing agent. We both forgot to put in more medi-gel.”

Garrus just grunted as she started sewing him back up. Her hand moved with a familiar ease, the wound closing up with tiny neat stitches on both sides. Once Shepard knotted it up and snipped the excess, she wiped her hands clean and helped Garrus to his feet.

“My beautiful waist,” Garrus lamented in a tired, slurred voice. “Scarred.”

“If you go flashing your scarred waist to people, I will definitely take issue with that.” Shepard quipped as she guided him to the bed. “And yes, I’ll turn the heat up some more.”

“Just… sleep with me. You’re warm enough.” Garrus was reaching for her hand.

“I’m not when I’m still in armour. Give me a moment.”

“Good, you’re finally finishing off stripping for me.”

“Ass.” Shepard said fondly.

The clunk of more armour came and then the visor came off, rested on the bedside table and facing towards the fishtank. Another visor was clearly in view, names etched on and one scratched off on the inside. Then came the sound of Shepard settling into bed and Garrus making a pleased sound. It wasn’t long before the purring rumble of a sleeping turian was heard. But there was no sound of deep breathing from Shepard. It was a long while before her voice was heard speaking softly,

“ _Mi pareja_ ,” there was a few moments of silence before she whispered, “ _Ederis_.”

Then Shepard gave a soft yawn, before the rustle of sheets came and then the deep even sound of her breathing. The video finally cut and James let his arm fall back down, a bit sore from holding it up for so long. For a moment, all he could do was stare up at the ceiling before he pulled up his extranet browser. He looked at the blank field before he typed in ‘commander shepard collector base destruction’.

And splashed right there, very first result was Westerlund News’ title of, “ _FAKED ALLIANCE PROPAGANDA?: Explosive video of Collector Base Assault tonight at 5_ ”. Every other news result was every single news channel talking about the purported video. 

After a moment of thought, he did a quick search for the vid in question. It wasn’t hard to find. It was the same vid from Shepard’s cam alright, but it ended when Joker asked for their destination. So someone had sent him raw, unedited footage from Shepard’s cam. What the hell was going on?”

“Hey James, you’re not jerking one out in there are you?”

“Shit,” James scrambled. “I’m -”

The rest of his sentence was cut off as he got tangled in the blanket and fell flat on his face. By the time he freed himself and got up, Shepard was peering around the door staring at him in concern. 

“You don’t usually sleep in so late. Feeling okay?”

He glanced at the clock to see 6:15 AM. Shit, he was seriously behind schedule. But would - The door started beeping, saying that there was someone waiting. They both glanced towards it before Shepard spoke. 

“You get dressed. I’ll answer the door. If it’s an assassin, I’ll deal with them.”

“Or you can just wait for me to finish dressing,” James said dryly. “ _Cinco minutos_.”

And five minutes later he was at the door to find Shao on the other side, a thoughtful look on his face. He took in James before he looked at Shepard and then back to James. Once he stepped in and the door closed, Shao didn’t waste time.

“You’ve seen the vids.”

James nodded. “They’re all over the extranet. Kinda hard not too. Having been on one of those hell ships myself, I can confirm that it’s legit.”

“Anyone care to fill me in here?” Shepard looked between them as she lounged against the desk.

“Vids have surfaced of your attack on the Collector base and it’s subsequent irradiation,” Shao pursed his lips in thought. “I was granted a motion for a 48 hour period to review the files in question and verify their authenticity. No doubt the Admirals themselves are reviewing the footage. Are you sure there’s nothing else you have to tell me, Commander?”

Shepard had tensed, going from casual to alert. “No sir. Those files were never supposed to be released. I used it for review and for filling in my report. Before I turned myself in, we were just starting to investigate reports of pockets of rogue Collectors. Apparently not all the ships were at the base when we took it out. And the reports were saying that these rogue Collectors were acting strangely. It was all mentioned in that follow up report I did my first week of lock-up.”

“Alright. God knows your non-usage of extranet will definitely back you up on this. The prosecution is already trying to claim the possibility that you set up the leak remotely.”

“She grasping at straws already?” Shepard snorted.

“You haven’t been in communication with any one and only one visitor on your list came. I don’t think Fieller is going to risk starting an incident with the Hierarchy, making claims about Domine Vakarian.” Shao pulled a datapad from the stack in his hand. “The vids are on here if you’re wondering. The next set of depositions are due by the end of tomorrow.”

“A lot of damned work to try to catch me in a lie,” Shepard shook her head as she took it. “So no court today then?”

“Suspended until the 27th. Should be an interesting session back.”

“Isn’t it always?” Shepard quipped. “I’ll have those depositions submitted to you by the end of today. Helps that my schedule cleared up.”

“What can I say? Vid leaks are sometimes a good thing,” Shao gave a small grin and nod. “Lieutenant. Commander. I’ll see myself out.”

As soon as the door closed, Shepard looked at James. “So, what did you think?”

“Of?” James tried.

Shepard didn’t look impressed. “Not the time to play coy.”

James gave a sigh. “I’m glad you kicked the _pendejos_ a new one and wiped them out. Don’t blame you,” James sighed, thinking of everything that happened on Fehl Prime. “I’d have done the same thing if I could have.”

__

__

“Yeah, you said you were on one of those hell ships. Pretty good description for it,” Shepard sighed as she tapped the datapad against her thigh. “Gonna get us breakfast or what? Think you can flirt your way to some bacon and eggs in the middle of the morning rush?”

“We’ll find out.” James said. 

Turns out getting breakfast in the rush wasn’t too bad, even if the mess cook was halfway through barking out orders, seeing to racks of sausage coming out of the oven and asking how dinner went last night. So when James came back it was with bacon and sausage, eggs, toast, fruit cups and, as luck would have it, fresh coffee and danishes. 

“Damn,” Shepard whistled as she sat down to the spread. “That coffee smells like it close to something decent and not burned paint stripper.”

“Fresh from the pot.” James poured her a cup, sliding over a small tray with packets. “Milk, sugar.”

For a few minutes, they settled down to eat. When the plates were mostly clear and they were taking leisurely sips of coffee, Shepard spoke again.

“Want to know what the best part of this leak mess is?” when James looked at her, she answered, “We’re already here. No damned crowd to wade through again. I never thought it would happen to me twice in my career.”

For a second James frowned before it clicked. “Akuze.”

Shepard nodded, falling quiet as she looked out the window. James could recall the massive deal made of Shepard for surviving the Akuze Incident, everyone wanting her story. At first, Shepard had been snappish and angry, more prone to mouthing off at a reporter who pushed her too hard. Someone had clearly coached her though because Shepard had vanished for a week and when she showed up again, had learned how to bite her tongue and run the whole insane gamut.

“You know, I used to have a huge scar on my back from the thresher acid.In a weird way, kinda glad it hit my back. Melted away a good portion of that stupid gang tattoo I had. Soon as I could, got it covered up.”

“Damn, I didn’t know you used to have some ink.”

“Was covered up most of the time,” Shepard shrugged, her voice still contemplative. “I remember those thirty six hours on Akuze. I remember storming that Collector base. It’s funny, how eternity can sometimes be counted in minutes.”

James nodded his head. He knew what she meant. Fehl Prime, altogether, it had to have taken ten hours, tops. But during the thick of it, yeah, felt like a fucking eternity.

“Seconds too.” James added before taking a drink of coffee.

“Mm,” was all Shepard agreed with before she took a slow sip. “You know about the one other person actually survived Akuze besides me.”

Now Shepard was quiet, gaze absent, as her mind clearly drifted back to something else. James wasn’t too sure if he should even try to say something, so he settled for finishing off his coffee and topping up his cup. He tapped Shepard on the shoulder gently, holding up the carafe. She started, roused from her thoughts before she nodded. They fixed up their cups before she spoke again.

“Know that whole trial with Doctor Wayne? Suspected for collaborating with Cerberus?” at James’ nod, she continued. “That’s where I found Toombs. On some backwater planet in the Traverse. But turns out Cerberus kept him for experimenting on. Injected him with thresher acid, tried grafting thresher DNA…” she trailed off, swallowing hard.

“ _Mierda, sobrevivió_?” It was one thing to survive a thresher attack, but to then live through some twisted experiements…

“Yeah,” Shepard’s voice was hard. “When I heard that, hell, I nearly killed Wayne myself.”

James shook his head. No, he didn’t buy that for a second. “That’s not you though.”

Now Shepard was looking at him funny. “Toombs was my squadmate and he was taken under _my_ watch. After hearing what they did to him, I would have put two bullets in that fucker’s head. I didn’t because I needed him alive to corroborate what Toombs was saying.” She paused for a moment. “You sound like Kaidan, saying that.”

“But you didn’t pull the trigger. That’s gotta count for something.”

“Don’t you think it would have counted for Toombs? To end one Cerberus barbarity, to see that it didn’t hurt anyone else? Because trust me, what I found in 2183, was probably the tip of the fucking iceberg. Why the fuck should Akuze garner me an N recommendation and Toombs nothing but pain and degredation? Shouldn’t he get some goddamn justice for that? Nothing is as clear-cut as you want it to be, I’ll tell you that right now.”

James wasn’t too sure what to really say to that. He studied his milky coffee for a moment before he asked, “That’s really what got you your N recommendation?”

“I tried to tell them where to shove it,” Shepard huffed. “I saw that recommendation and for a long while, all I saw were my dead squadmates when I looked at it. I saw my failure. I did a tour before I accepted it.”

“What made you accept it?”

Shepard shrugged. “Honestly, I looked at it one day and I saw Vitti calling me a damned idiot for not taking it. Next thing I knew, I was on a Villa Jaunt,” she glanced at him. “You know, you don’t have to talk about it, whatever it was.”

James shook his head. “Nah. If I wanted to talk about it, it would take too many beers to get through. Not to mention, I’m on the clock.”

“Hm, fair point.” Shepard pursed her lips for a moment. “So, what is the craziest thing you’ve ever done?”

“ _Eh_?” James was staring at her, trying to figure out this jump. “ _En serio_?”

“Yeah, everyone’s got one. Like, how do you know krogans are tough sonsofbitches to take down? C’mon,” she egged, seeing him rub at the back of his neck. “Spill it.”

“Uh, well, my initial deployment with Delta Squad to Fehl was to clear out some Blood Pack mercenaries. And we came in hot, I mean our cockroaches literally got shot down out of the sky. My shuttle made it but our CO was injured. It was a shitshow, from bad to worse. So, you know how Blood Pack follow _el jefe_ , yeah? So I figure, go right for the throat.”

“You didn’t.” Shepard was sitting up now, paying attention. 

“Had no choice. I duelled the Blood Pack leader as a diversonary tactic.”

There was silence for a moment as Shepard just stared at him, her coffee forgotten. “You mean to tell me that your _diversonary tactic_ was to go toe-to-toe with a possibly biotic krogan on the battlefield?”

Huh, James hadn’t even considered that part until now. Most krogan battlemasters were biotic. “It worked, for the most part.” James shrugged. “Though if Milque hadn’t sniped him clean through the head, I wouldn’t be sitting here.”

“ _Diantres, he hecho algunas cosas fuera del manual, pero eso… eso es una locura._ ” Shepard had a huge grin of disbelief plastered on her face. “Even I haven’t done something that insane. And I took on a freak of a krogan with stupidly fast regen with backup.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Mm-hm. Even Zaeed was like, ‘Never had to burn a krogan so fast in my life.’,” Shepard did a terrible raspy accent. “And that bastard damned near refused to burn too.”

“Well, it’s nice to know you’re not kickass at everything. I don’t know what that accent was.” James chuckled. “I don’t know if I should call it a trainwreck or a joke.”

“Everyone’s a critic.” Shepard sighed with a smile as she held out her cup with a waggle. “Fill ‘er up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, and I have some more turian words!
> 
>  _verpa_ \- a vulgarity literally meaning, 'an exposed penis'; colloquially, means one who can't hide their true intentions; the closest human equivalent would be the idiom, 'the mask is slipping'
> 
>  _ederis_ \- a term of affection used between couples who are serious; most typically used between bonded mates and those with impending nuptials; closest human equivalent could be: beloved/my bondmate


	13. Dead of Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's Wednesday. Officially Hump Day. Have a chapter to start coasting to the weekend. :)

There was nothing quite like the shrill screech and flashing red light of an omni-tool alarm in the dead of the fucking night. He slapped the button to silence it and was on his feet immediately, looking around, blinking to acclimatize his eyes to the darkness. 

“For God sake, get to Shep, now!”

The voice out of thin air was startling enough. What actually got him moving was the fact that the door to Shepard’s quarters was closed. Considering that it was never actually fully closed, seeing it shut was enough of a warning. He tried to run to it, but slammed up against a kinetic barrier. Being at headquarters meant he didn’t need a weapon, which was serious downside right now. He hurled himself against the barrier a few times before it finally came down. Then he hurled himself against the door, crashing through into Shepard’s quarters. 

There was more light in the room from the windows. Moonlight and the muted lights of Alliance buildings illuminated everything a bit more. It was just enough to see that he was barely in time. There was Shepard on the bed, fingers jammed up against her throat by a twisted bed sheet.She was stretched out on the bed, propped up by the torso of a shadowy figure, holding the bulk of the sheet.

Shit, a fucking assassin.

“I think that’s far enough for you, Lieutenant Vega.”

Even better: an assassin with a voice modulator of some kind. Vocal recognition was off the table now. If he could just get to his omni-tool, then — Sparks from his wrist made him swear. So much for that option.

“Now, since we’ve eliminated that pesky thing, I think it’s time to negotiate. This situation—”

“Human.” Shepard croaked out.

Cloth creaked as it was tightened and now there was the quiet beep of a gun priming. Shit shit shit. Who knew how long Shepard had that damned sheet around her neck. She would need air and soon. However, the matte silencer muzzle against her temple was really complicating things.There was another creak from the bed and the voice tsked. 

“Now Shepard, should you really risk me blowing your brains out. I highly doubt Cerberus is willing to spend another exorbitant sum to bring your back a second time.”

There was no way it was common knowledge that Shepard had been resurrected by Cerberus. So this assassin was either hired and briefed, which totally implied Cerberus, or they were very good at digging up info. Not that it all mattered much now because that gun was making this a damned impossible situation. He shifted a bit, trying to move closer to the bed. All that got him was the soft click of a safety being taken off.

“I see you listen and learn as well as Shepard. You’re a shitty bodyguard.” The voice didn’t sound pleased. As Shepard made some choking sounds, the voice sneered. “Your charge seems to disagree. Now—”

What happened next, James really couldn’t say. There was the red crackle of a Sabotage going off, a blur of motion and Shepard was on the ground as the gun thunked down somewhere. James scrambled over to her, arms hooking under her pits to quickly drag her away from the assassin who was… fighting a flickering shape? What the hell?

He glanced back at Shepard, who was on all fours and taking in great big gasps of air with a rasp. James looked back to the fight, tracking movement as best he could before he charged in. He caught the assassin, smashing them up against the window. They were disoriented by his charge and even more so when he slammed them against the glass a few more times for good measure. James twisted them around, pulling both arms behind and up from their back. Suddenly they buckled, as if their knees were kicked and James had to shift to prevent their falling weight from dislocating their shoulder. The assassin hit the ground hard but James made sure to keep up the tension on their stretched arms to keep them from struggling. 

Shepard was staggering to her feet, hauling herself up using the foot of the bed. She came over slowly, still breathing hard. James could just make out her expression in the dim light and it looked too calm for his liking. The cracks on her face were like thin lines of fire and suddenly James knew that if Shepard had found that gun, this person might well be dead already. This was Shepard, more than ready to kill.

When she stopped in front of the assassin, her expression was easier to see. James' _tío_ had explained enough times. “ _Not every one gets angry like you. You show it, let it out. Some people, it’s cold and clear. But it’s just as deadly._ ” And yeah, he’d seen it enough times but looking at Shepard now, the only word running through his mind was, ‘inexorable’. Some shit was definitely going down tonight.Maybe if he was lucky, he could dissuade her from anything too terrible. 

But now, Shepard was doing something peculiar, patting down the assasin and pulling out a found knife. She held it in her mouth as she patted down the assassin’s stretched arms. 

“Cerberus?” Shepard croaked as she kept patting the arms. 

“Like I’d tell you anything.”

For a moment, Shepard didn’t say anything as she seemed to find something on the back of the upper left arm. She leaned in, taking the knife in hand. When she whispered, her voice was just raspy enough to let him hear the quiet words of,

“Learned from Thane Krios.”

That definitely got a response, a full body jerking motion, as if the person would have made a run for it if they could. Thane Krios was a name they knew and feared enough.

The sudden stabbing motion into the arm took James entirely by surprise. Shepard’s face was hard as she moved the knife quickly, carving out a flap before reaching under the skin and pulling out her gory prize. The scent of fresh blood was sharp but what was weird was that something was muffling all the screaming. Christ, there were going to be a lot of questions when - 

There was just the flash of the knife blade in the moonlight, moving before James could even speak. Then the assassin made a wet choking sound before their body slumped in his arms, the knife buried up to the handle in their neck.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” James swore as he eased the limp body to the floor. “You just —”

“Failure,” Shepard rasped out as she walked to the bed and sat down heavily. “No. Seconds.”

Fucking hell. James looked back at the assassin’s body, the blood pooling out from their neck. He took another look around the room, but that flickering shape was nowhere to be seen. He came over to the bed, eyes moving to the small bloody thing she still held. All Shepard did was hold up her wrist with her omni-tool still on. James took it and had the alarm raised in less than ten seconds before turning on the lights. 

It only took ten minutes before the whole place was crawling with investigators and guards posted outside the door. James was still trying to get Gjelstad in here, but Shepard was shaking her head slowly and gesturing around. The message was clear as day: no, deal with this first.

Plus, to top it all off, Anderson was also there. He was studying the body of the assassin with a tight look to his eyes. However long his day had been, Shepard just made it much longer. 

“Kid, you don’t do anything in half measures,” Anderson pinched and rubbed at the bridge of his nose. “Vega, give me a rundown of what happened.”

So James did, with Shepard nodding vehemently at parts to corroborate what was said. Though he skipped over the part where he thought he heard a voice, because honestly, he’d been asleep, so maybe he’d imagined it. Anderson’s frown deepened when he got to the part about the brief fight. 

“Did you see flickering?” Anderson looked to Shepard now.

Shepard shook her head, motioning to her throat with a wheezy breath. She was looking more sluggish and her breathing really didn’t sound good. Anderson gave a heavy sigh as he eyed her though he motioned for James to continue. When he finished, Anderson was still watching Shepard.

“I won’t lie Shepard. This is going to look bad. You should have kept them alive for interrogation.” He gestured to her bloody fingers. “What’s that?”

“Assassin OD.” Shepard held up the bloody subdermal drive. “Don’t steal.”

That made zero fucking sense. James was through hurmouring her. He sent an alert to Gjelstad. “Okay, you’re done.”

Shepard was hanging her head now, still breathing heavily as if trying to catch her breath. Anderson caught someone’s attention and a plastic bag was offered to her. Shepard dropped in the drive, congealed blood smearing along the sides of the plastic.

Thankfully, Gjelstad didn’t take long to get there. Not even five minutes after sending the alert, he was checking over Shepard. James finally got a good look at her too. Her eyes were splotched red across the whites and her dark skin looked like it was spattered with tiny red spots. Along her throat was a wide band of purplish-red with eight long spots. _Her fingers_ , James realised as Gjelstad carefully inspected her throat.

“I’m starting to think you’ve got the devil’s own luck, Commander,” Gjelstad said as he gently felt along her throat. He paused as her huff turned into a coughing spasm. “Sorry about that.”

Shepard slowly waved a hand in dismissal as he head was tilted up so Gjelstad could see better. When he tilted her head down, a light was shone in her eyes before he was opening her mouth to inspect her throat. When the light finally clicked off, his face was serious.

“I want you in the med bay for some more in-depth scans and for at least a thirty six hour observation period. They damned near succeeded in killing you Commander, and I’d like to make sure there aren’t any complications. Like that,” he produced a handkerchief, wiping up a blob of drool that was at the corner of her mouth. “Your tongue’s already swelling and you’ve got enough burst blood vessels to worry me. The complications themselves can kill you as well, so please accept it with good grace and come.”

A look of annoyance flashed across Shepard’s face before she nodded. James just knew it was more because that she had to go to the med bay rather than learning that she’d been damned near killed again. Once she stood up, James made sure she got her boots on before he quickly took the blanket from the bed and bundled her up in it, making sure her face was obscured enough. He shoved his own shoes on and pulled up his omni-tool again, but Gjelstad stopped him.

“They’re waiting outside.” That was all the tall Sentinel said.

It may have been after 3 AM, but James knew the gossip mill would be working overtime from this. Even though it was the dead of night at HQ, a few people caught their walk. Not that anyone really could get a glimpse of Shepard with the security team closed in tight around her, and the blanket hiding her from view. All they had was speculation and nothing else.

Once they arrived, Gjelstad made the team wait outside while he got to work. James stood out of the way as Gjelstad made sure Shepard was comfortable in bed before doing more in-depth scans and setting up monitors for who knew what. All James did was take a moment to clean off her bloody hand and throw the damp gauze in the disposal unit. When Gjelstad came back with the hypo-injector, Shepard sneered at it but tilted her head to take the shot. Gjelstad left her with a cup of ice chips with a last, firm order of, “Suck only, don’t chew it please.”

James watched as Gjelstad made sure Shepard followed the order before he came over to join James was by the door. 

“Well?” James asked quietly.

“Her throat msucles alone are bruised badly and she has a fractured larynx. Nothing severe enough to need surgery and the injection I gave her should help speed up the healing. But she does need complete vocal rest. I’d say two weeks minimum and then I’ll evaluate again. She can’t verbally testify in court. If they insist then it has to be dicta-statements. All the scans and tests I just did will corroborate that, so you don’t have to worry on that front.”

Even now, James could hear the sounds of frustration from Shepard. Yeah, she took writing all the depositions with good grace, but she _really_ hated writing those damned things. Probably ‘cause she figured it took away from her reading time. 

James glanced over to see Shepard frowning at her cup before she popped another ice chip in her mouth. “She’ll be in the clear after this observation period?”

“If we’re lucky, there won’t be complications,” Gjelstad nodded. “But you should still keep an eye out for some signs. Nausea, vomiting, light-headedness, headaches, any sort of difficulty with breathing, speaking or swallowing and involuntary urination of defecation.”

“You, uh, told Shepard this, right?” James was not looking forward to a ‘let me know if you’ve crapped or pissed your pants’ chat with Shepard.

“Of course I did,” Gjelstad gave him an offended look. “I’m letting _you_ know because, again, her stubbornness is well know. And if Shepard can conk out, I think it’s safe to say that you probably need sleep as well too, sir.”

A glance back at the bed showed that Shepard was out like a light, cup half tilted in a loose grip. James walked over and took the cup from her gently before placing it on the bedside table. He couldn’t help but stare at the bruise on Shepard’s neck and wondered who the fuck wanted her dead so badly. Well, aside from possibly Cerberus Or the Hegemony. Or even the Reapers... in so far as a giant mechanical squid could try to assassinate someone. Damn, an aspirin was sounding really good right now.

“No one gets past this door with the exception of Admiral Anderson and Shepard’s JAG, Captain Julius Shao,” James pulled up the chair beside Shepard’s bed. “Now, get the rest of the team in here.”

And that was how at just after 5 AM, James found himself giving explicit instructions to the security team. Milque would run interference at the door and he was given the very brief list of allowed people. Gjelstad was to remain on-call strictly for medical duties. Kung and Brady were to keep guard in the room, while Milque was at the door with Azubuike. As soon as he heard the, “Sir, yes sir!” and everyone went to their posts, he activated the privacy screen and settled down in the chair. 

James couldn’t fight the yawn that came, his jaw popping as he stretched it. There was something to the assassin that was bugging him. The gun safety had been initially on and for an assassin, they were awfully chatty. Maybe it was actually another kidnapping attempt? Were they trying to just knock out Shepard? But then how had they even gotten in? The door was locked and there was no way they got in through the window. James hadn’t felt a breeze and that stuff was poly-alu-something. It was hard as hell, so the window was definitely out of the question. 

With a frustrated, ‘hmph’ he sent a request to Anderson for the crime scene report as well as the report on the recovered subdermal optical disk. If that report wasn’t redacted to within an inch of its life, it could give him some clues. And since he was up now anyhow, he’d get a start on his paperwork. This whole damned night had made a small mountain of it. Yeah, he’d get started on that. Just as soon as he rested his eyes for a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup, this chapter could very well be called, "Shepard and the Terrible, No Good, Not Sleeping Night." Ditto for poor James too.


	14. Urdnot

Shao had been right. It was finally the next day back in court and it sure had been interesting so far. Shepard had been cleared after the observation period and didn’t have any issues with testifying. 

In court, she basically sat there and looked calm, like she wasn’t being raked over the coals. When she typed up her responses, the even synthesized voice nearly kept up with her flying fingers. Having the computer doing the reading give her an edge. No tone, no inflection for the prosecution to seize on and she had a little bit of time to consider her words.

When Garrus Vakarian has testified, the guy had been smooth. He’d clearly testified before in a court setting, could hold his own under cross examination. 

What James never, in his life, ever expected to see, was a _krogan_ on the witness stand. And not just any krogan either. It was Urdnot Grunt sitting there. And where Vakarian has been tall, Grunt was tall and _massive_. It was like seeing a solid seven foot tall block of krogan muscle somehow sitting down and just exuding derision and lethality.

The affectionate way Shepard talked about Grunt really threw James for a loop now. And also, she could not give him shit about his duel on Fehl Prime, if she sparred with fucking _Grunt_ on a regular basis. Grunt on vid was a far cry from seeing him in the flesh. The krogan looked like he could tear Shepard apart in three moves. Though, two of those moves would probably be steps and the last to just rip her spine clean out.

Apparently Urdnot Grunt had been waiting a bit to testify, delayed by the second attempt on Shepard. If Shao was frazzled by this character witness, he showed nothing of it. In fact, the only thing Shao had said today was, “I have no questions for the character witness.”

That in an of itself had been surprising. One of the biggest krogan clans sent someone to speak on Shepard’s behalf and her defense had no questions for them? It was just plain weird. Shao must have had his reasons though, since Fieller rose now.

“Can you please state your name for the record.” Fieller asked as she walked away from her table.

“Urdnot Grunt.”

“And she was your captain on the SSV Normandy SR-2?”

Grunt nodded. “Shepard was my captain. She is also my _krantt_ and my battlemaster.”

James watched as Fieller nodded. That alone was nothing to shrug at. As far as James knew, there were few krogans with aliens as their _krantt_ , much less as their battlemaster. But then again, James had met very few krogan who weren't Blood Pack mercenaries.

“As I understand it, you were grown in a tank?” At Grunt’s nod, Fieller continued, “It wouldn’t be a stretch to say that perhaps your loyalty is greater to Shepard than it is to you clan. Coming from Tuchanka is no small feat.”

That alone was true. The clearances for a krogan to come to Earth were ridiculous and not to mention that hard-and-fast rule of ‘no weapons’. But Grunt sitting there was saying plenty. Besides, how was Shao not saying anything to such a misleading statement? This was the point in the vids where the lawyer jumped up yelling, ‘Objection’ or something like that. Grunt narrowed his eyes but simply huffed. 

“I came for two simple reasons: my clan leader asked if I would speak on Shepard’s behalf. She is also my _krantt_. She had a need and I came, as she did for me," Grunt made an annoyed sound. "Starting to think the klixen and thresher maw were easier to deal with.”

Wait, _what_? Shepard never mentioned anything about klixen and a thresher maw when talking about Grunt. James looked at the Admirals at the front. They were still listening carefully, not interrupting anything. 

“So it would be safe to say that your loyalty to Shepard only goes so far. She just released you from the tank to be a killing machine, and nothing else.”

Now Grunt gave a growl, jaws flexing as he clenched his teeth. 

“I have loyalty to Shepard because she had proven herself to me. She is my _krantt_ because she stood by me when others would not. She is my battlemaster because she is unequalled on the field. I am loyal to her because without her, I would be clanless or still locked up in a tank. I was bred for war, for killing. Shepard gave me more than that. And for that, she will always have my arm and my gun if she needs it.”

Huh. James was starting to think that maybe Shao had the right idea. For a moment Fieller seemed to be thinking something over. And the next words out of her mouth left James staring. 

“And couldn’t it be safe to say that you did this all because Shepard arranged it all before turning herself in? You owe her so much, that your own clan loyalty could be called compromised. It’s greater to Shepard than to Urdnot. So much so, that she’d convinced you of the so called ‘Reaper’ threat. ”

There was dead silence in the courtroom for a moment but Grunt really looked like he wished he had a weapon of some sort. If Grunt had been playing nice before, he was done now. 

“Didn’t see you at the Collector base, you,” the translator glitched on a word. “Pyjack. Bet you would have shit your pants with exploding husks coming right at you while being pummelled by biotic artillery.”

One of the Admirals was quick on the gavel, banging it loudly enough to catch Grunt’s attention. “Urdnot Grunt, you will refrain from using profanity while giving your testimony.”

It was all the more telling that Grunt didn’t really bother with the Admiral, but looked at Shepard, who nodded. Grunt made a deeply annoyed sound but continued on.

“I was there with Commander Shepard when we flew through the Omega-4 relay. I fought beside her as our enemy burrowed into the Normandy. I know the stink of burning metal as it try to slice through our ship. And I know Shepard took it out, a missile right to the eye. And I certainly didn’t see you fighting Collectors to stop any abductions of colonists.”

James recalled that leaked vid. Sure, you could say Grunt fought. There was fighting and then there was _fighting_. Seeing Grunt on that vid was like watching controlled fury rampage through unimpeded. 

“Did you smash through the Collector line, like it was nothing? Did you break their formation for your squadmates, rip their wings from their back and smash their heads underfoot to ensure Commander Shepard had an exit point for her squad? Did you fight the ones that burned inside, that tried to incinerate you? 

“Were you there to hold the line while Commander Shepard took the drell and the bald human female to deal with the problem once and for all? You weren’t there to feel the ground shake beneath your feet as the Collectors tried to storm our holding position. We did not fail as hordes of Collectors threw themselves at us, waves of death breaking beneath our gunfire and biotics.

“And still Commander Shepard was the last one aboard the ship, she made sure we had a chance to get back safely, barely made it back herself. She did as she promised to do, and destroyed the Collectors. And when I asked her if this was the end of it, she told me no. To prepare myself for the battle still to come, because the time would come when the krogan could redeem themselves in the eyes of the galaxy. And I believe her. When she looked at me, released me from that tank, she saw more than a killer. Shepard has done right by the krogan. I’m done here, but my clan leader is going to hear about how you’ve been treating one of our best allies, one who is _makhlar_ to us,” he rose from the seat. “I’m done here, I’ve got a deployment to get to.”

It was silent in the courtroom as Grunt made his way to the door, though he paused at Shepard’s table long enough to eye her over. The other courtroom guards looked antsy, but James didn’t budge an inch. If Grunt wanted anyone in here dead, it would have happened already. Shepard had risen to her feet, standing at parade rest. Grunt’s eyes finally settled on her neck and then he spoke.

“Dead?”

All Shepard replied with was a slow wide grin. 

“Hah!” Grunt’s exclaimation came with the loud smack of him clasping Shepard’s forearm. “They should have gone with the finger.”

That got a harsh bark of laughter from Shepard. She winced slightly but the grin was still on her face. The sole word she rasped out was, “Grunt.”

“Shepard.” Grunt said with a nod before left the courtroom.

Fieller had quietly sat back down during that exchange, clearly with no further questions. Though, James was pretty sure no one really wanted to question that exchange and push the krogan’s patience any further. The Admirals were murmuring amongst themselves a gavel was banged. 

“This court is adjourned for the day. We’ll reconvene in two days time.”

The gavel banged once more and that was it. Court was officially done after barely an hour. Interesting day indeed. And even though they were at Alliance HQ, the second attempt had James using the security team again. Shepard was now escorted to and from her rooms, with everyone armed and ready. James didn’t really care if it made a damned spectacle and set the rumour mill going. Shepard needed security, period. Hell, even Shepard’s request to make her own meals got approved within hours after her attack. By the time she’d been released from observation, the new quarters had been ready. The workout equipment had been moved up and there was a fridge, pots and pans, a smooth infra-heat range top, the whole shebang. 

So naturally Shepard wasn’t doing any cooking yet because Gjelstad had her on a diet of soft food. At the moment, all she seemed willing to eat was ice cream and soup. It definitely made for an interesting shopping trip when he went down to the mess kitchens with Shepard’s list.

Shao accompanied them back to their quarters and as soon as the door was closed, Shepard was shaking, caught between laughter and coughing. 

“All things considered, that went just as I hoped it would.” Shao looked pleased. 

Shepard’s hand flew over the keypad before she held up the datapad. “ **Like a brick for Fieller**?”

“Pretty much.” Shao agreed. “Grunt did plenty for your case and further reminded the Admiralty board that you’re not without some allies with clout. Urdnot has rapidly become one of the biggest krogan clans on Tuchanka and are becoming known for being more diplomatic than most.”

“ **I had no idea Wrex would send some one,** ” Shepard tapped a finger as she chewed on her lower lip. “ **Or that Grunt would make the time before deployment.** ”

“Clearly, Wrex thought it to be worthwhile, as did Grunt,” Shao pulled up a datapad of his own. “When the court reconvenes, it will be about Horizon.” 

All Shepard did was nod her head, typing quickly. It was a single word. “ **Kaidan**?”

Shao nodded. “If your depositions from before are ready, I’ll take them to file and you can get started on today’s.”

That got a bark of laughter from Shepard before she rasped out, “About what?”

“Commander,” James began. She really shouldn’t be talking.

Shepard waved off his concern as she nodded her head. Shao gave an amused chuckle before taking the datapad she offered and saying a quick farewell before seeing himself out. Once the door locked, James made a beeline to the fridge. There were some vegetables, instant stocks and some chilled meats. Shepard was already hovering over his shoulder, trying to swat him aside. He finally relented, watching as she pulled things out and gestured for him to get a pot and a pan out. 

Watching Shepard cook was kinda amazing. The knife moved quickly in her hands, mincing and dicing ingredients. She did all of that as she got him to brown the stew meat. By then, she already had oil in the pot and was sauteeing up all her dices and minces, throwing in seasonings by eye.

It was all making sense to him until she got out the jar of peanut butter. The damned peanut butter. Nope, this wasn’t the regular old stuff for sandwiches. She had specifically requested some fancy brand where the only ingredients listed were peanuts, salt and oil and it had to stay in the fridge. He literally had to ask Admiral Anderson for peanut butter. 

And now she was mixing it into the stock, so okay… weird. No, never mind, because now she was pouring it into the pot slowly as she scraped up the bottom and sides. Once she was done, she was gesturing for him to pour in the tomatoes. He did, eyeing the pot dubiously. Seriously, peanut butter in a soup? Stew? It was looking questionable but honestly, smelling fan-fucking-tastic.

The meat went in, and Shepard tossed in a sprig of thyme and a bay leaf before giving the pot a stir and setting the temp low enough to simmer. 

“How long?” James lifted the lid, peering at the contents. 

Shepard was just wiping her hands clean, rasping out. “Hour.”

“Your throat is gonna take longer to heal up if you keep talking. And I’m sure Gjelstad will have something to say about that.” James laughed at her annoyed sigh. “Wanna play some Skyllian Five?”

She grabbed the datapad. “ **You like being broke, James?** ”

“No gambling. I could use the practice. Getting a bit rusty watching your loco ass.”

“ **Bring it. Winner gets loser’s dessert.** ”

“I dunno,” James made a thoughtful face. “It is that fancy gelato cup thing. And they’re good, like really good.”

“ **Chiiiiiiiiiiiicken.** ” Shepard smirked, waggling the datapad. 

All James could do was laugh and shake his head. “I’ll get the cards.”

The cards were quickly shuffled and then dealt as they settled down at the small table in the middle of the room. Anderson seriously had been right, Shepard was a good card player. There were a few times when it had been close, but for the most part, they drew even. And that weird soup was simmering and seriously driving him crazy because it smelled so good. He’d overlook the weird peanut butter fact. When Shepard got up, pulling a sealed bag of MinuteRice down, James wandered over to the stove, looking for a spoon. He quickly found one and scooped up a bit of… whatever. It was too thin to be a stew but too thick to be a soup, but he shrugged and gave it a taste.

“ _Dios mío_ , we’re eating now right?” James asked, quickly dunking the spoon back in for another taste. “ Like, in the next five minutes.”

Shepard nodded as she gave a quiet snort of amusement. The whole minute it took for the rice to cook felt like forever. But it was doled out quickly, and then heaping spoonfuls went from the pot to the bowls. James filled up two big glasses with cold water and took them to the table with the cutlery as Shepard brought the bowls over.

When they sat down, James couldn’t dig in fast enough. Who’d have thought peanut butter in a dish like this wasn’t so crazy. He got about halfway through to find Shepard’s datapad propped up against her glass facing him.

“ **Like it?** ” 

She was giving him such a shit-eating grin, James couldn’t help but laugh. “ _Yeah, esto está jodidamente delicioso, qué es_?”

Shepard shovelled some in her mouth before picking up the datapad to type. “ **It’s called maafé. Haven’t made it in awhile and felt like some.** ”

“We got enough for seconds, ‘cause…” James tilted his nearly empty bowl. 

All Shepard did was grin and jerk a thumb back towards the stove. James didn’t waste a second, heading back over to heat up some more rice and fill up his bowl again. Once the second helping had been demolished, James sat back and patted his belly.

“ _Tienes que darme la receta_ , it’s so damned good!”

For a moment, Shepard gave a considering look before she picked up the datapad once more. When she propped it up again,she picked up the cards. “ **Jugare contigo por ella.** ”

“I want detailed instructions. Down to the exact teaspoon.” James motioned for her to shuffle. “And you tell me about the klixen and thresher maw.”

Shepard tapped the cards on the table, a considering look on her face before she put them down and typed. “ **You cook me something and I’ll tell you about that and you have to get the kitchen guy’s number**.”

“Seriously, that?” James laughed. 

“ **I know how fast those gelato cups go when they’re here. The fact you came back up with like eight of them says something. So, like I said, I win I’ll give you the recipe and you have to get this guy’s number. Or at least talk to him or something.** ”

“Don’t forget the thresher maw and klixen.” James reminded her as he took the cards from the table and started shuffling. “Hope you like loosing, Commander.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _makhlar_ \- a krogan term meaning 'one with our blood'; pre-Uplift, it was used exclusively for those adopted into a different clan; post-Uplift, it has come to specifically mean an alien who is adopted into the clan after proving themselves through extraordinary deeds
> 
> First time I ever made maafe, I was totally James. Because, peanut butter in a savoury dish? Uh, okay then. But then I made and tried it and was like, "MAAFE YES IN MY BELLY"
> 
> Also, this is what happens when I write when hungry, sooooo if I made you hungry too I am so sorry.


	15. Alenko

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy long weekend to my fellow Canadians! And also, Happy Black Panther weekend! :D That movie is pure fire and I may have seen it twice already in two days. And may see it twice more this weekend. That whole cast has me thirsty af, no joke.

She woke abruptly, eyes wide as her heart hammered in her chest. It was that same damned Alchera dream again. Burning air, a crater holding her shattered body and a corrupted kiss. Elentari lay there breathing heavily until her heart calmed down and her breaths evened out. Right, she was safe in Alliance HQ. Well, as safe as she could be. She gently rubbed at her throat, feeling the soreness still.

Being nearly strangled sucked big time.

The air felt a bit cold as she got out of her warm bed, making a beeline to the kitchen for a glass of water. Elentari let the tap run for a bit, making sure the water was nice and cold before she filled her glass. It didn’t take long to chug it down, breathing deeply when she finished. She considered the glass for a moment before she started to fill up again.

A low mutter from James’ room made her pause. Probably just dreaming… but it wasn’t the sort of sound that made her think she should go back to bed and pretend to hear absolutely nothing. Elentari left the glass in the sink and turned off the tap, quietly walking to the door of James’ quarters and peered in. There was enough light coming from her area for her to just see. He was shifting restlessly on the bed, half tangled in the sheets. The material was bunched tight in his fists as he fought against something, breathing harshly.

Nightmare, it had to be. 

And it looked like it was getting worse. James was struggling more, his breathing becoming more rapid. Whatever he was dreaming about, it was going from bad to worse. Elentari came into the room, kneeling by the bedside. 

“Hey, hey,” she grabbed his hand through the sheet. “ _Estas bien, todo esta bien._ ”

“April,” James started crying, his breathing getting more rapid. “ April…”

“James, hey, it’s okay,” damn, her throat was already feeling it from speaking, but she didn’t give a crap. Finally, at her wits’ end, she just started softly singing, “ _Los pollitos dicen…_ ”

Elentari quietly sang through the words until she couldn’t. Her grip on his hand didn’t lessen, keeping firm as she kept on humming the tune. James slowly relaxed, his breathing becoming steadier. She thought that he was back asleep but then his hand squeezed hers tight. 

“ _La gallina busca,_ ” James’ voice was sleep-rough as he chimed in. “ _El maiz y el trigo, les da la comida y les presta abrigo._ ”

There was silence for a moment, them still holding hands before she finally spoke.

“Man, we really can’t sing.”

“Know what we should do?” James gave her hand another squeeze. “Karaoke night. We’d kill it.”

Elentari laughed quietly, before she turned her face to cough into her shoulder. She patted their clasped hands gently, but stayed sitting. There were so many things she could have asked. What was he dreaming about? Who the hell was April? But she settled for something else.

“ _Quieres que prenda la luz? Para ahuyentar al monstruo bajo el cama?_ ”

That got a dry laugh from James as he scrubbed at his face with his free hand. “What time is it?”

“Close to five?” Elentari guessed after a moment. “Not too sure.”

James gave a heavy sigh before he sat up himself. “May as well get up. Not gonna get to sleep again anyhow. Sorry about… that.”

All Elentari did was shrug again. “No big deal. Today’s gonna be a trainwreck anyhow.” 

She winced at the end of the sentence. It felt like knives were stabbing in her throat now. In the dim light, Elentari more felt James’ disapproval than she saw it. She got to her feet, giving their clasped hands one last pat before walking over to the lightswitch and flipping it on. Shit, James looked like he could use a bit more sleep. Those bags under his eyes were pretty noticeable and his eyes were red and kinda puffy from crying. 

It didn’t take much to pop into the kitchen and make up a little ice pack. When she came back in. He looked confused until she gestured to his face. 

“ _Sólo para tus ojos._ ” It sounded like she scraped the words out.

“ _Dios_ , go get your datapad. Fucking hell, _Gjelstad me va a matar._ ” James shook his head as he held the icepack to his eyes. 

Elentari disappeared back to her own bed, flicking the lights on. But it was still early enough that she wasn’t too sure what to do. She had no workout planned today, which left her with an extra two hours to kill. A little lie-in wouldn’t be so bad. She grabbed her datapad, curled up in bed as she pulled up the latest book she was reading. 

All the other books had been finished and the latest batch she requested had language books. So she was studying but not practicing much given the whole ‘don’t speak’ rule. The sooner her throat healed up, the better. 

So far, this whole week had been interesting. An assassination attempt on her life had revealed that Kasumi was floating around Alliance HQ. And wasn’t that a puzzle because what the hell was Kasumi doing here, of all places? Elentari hadn’t seen the thief since she vanished when the Normandy hit dock at the Citadel. Or maybe she should be asking, what was here that would catch Kasumi’s attention.

And Grunt, of all people, showing up had been the last thing she’d ever expected. Wrex probably was trying to get things more organized on Tuchanka so the planet would be taken seriously again by the galactic community. Given that Grunt was prone to sometimes shooting first and asking much later when left to his own devices, Elentari couldn’t help but feel proud as hell.

What she could really do without was Fieller questioning her “defection” to Cerberus. Getting spaced and faking her death… as if she meticulously planned it all to join up with a terrorist group. Just what had Cerberus done in those two years rebuilding her to go from shadowy rumour to known threat? Actually those files she got from EDI were still sitting on an encrypted osd, probably under lock and key in an Alliance facility somewhere now. 

Maybe if she offered that to the Alliance it would be seen as a good-will gesture. Yeah no, she snorted the second the thought crossed her mind. More like attempted bribery at this point by the prosecution. Fieller was gunning to see her dishonourably discharged for her crimes and probably hanged out to dry as well. This trial was feeling more and more like an attempt to dig up dirt and carve out a pound of flesh. And with Kaidan testifying today, it was only gonna get worse and not a whole lot better. 

Her attention shifted back to the datapad and same page she’d been looking at for the past few minutes. Reading definitely wasn’t happening now. The book was closed and she brought up the write function before she rolled out of bed. Only half past six, and with an hour and a half to kill before needing to show up today. It was easier to focus on breakfast, pulling out eggs and such. The shower started up a few minutes after she started and a small smile came to her face. 

The only thing wrong with this picture was that it was James, not Garrus. Getting to see him was hands down, the best part of this farce so far. Hell, he came all the way from Palaven. She had no idea where Kaidan was, hadn’t heard from him since that single email from Horizon. And it wasn’t to say she hadn’t written him either. There had been all those emails after she’d woken up and then the single one before going through the Omega relay.

Radio silence was all she pretty much got from him, and it had told her plenty.

What she really wanted, well it would have to wait until she saw Garrus again and they had a discussion about it. Though, it felt like it was already halfway there. Hell, he was privy to all her damned finances so he had resources to work with just in case the Hierarchy hamstrung him too much.

“Bathroom’s yours,”

“Hm?” she looked over to see James coming around the corner.

“Go on, I’ll finish up.” 

He was already gently pushing her towards the door, fishing the spatula from her hand. Elentari didn’t bother to fight him, grabbing her change of clothes and hopping in. When she was done, the smell of fresh coffee greeted her and she wasted no time sitting down beside James. Breakfast was more subdued than usual, neither of them striking up conversation. 

The dishes were washed up when they finished and the rest of the morning was spent with her reading and James doing some work on his datapad. Elentari got so focused on her reading that it took James tapping her shoulder to catch her attention. 

“Time to go.”

Crap, she checked the time on her datapad before tossing it on the pillow. Where had most of the morning gone? They left their quarters, the security team ready and falling into place around them as they walked. She was used to the murmurs of people watching as they passed by. The stares felt they were trying to settle on her shoulders, weigh her down. Getting to the courtroom door was where the security team was left behind, and just her and James headed in.

The silence of the cavernous hearing hall was always a relief. Those massive windows behind the Admirals desk framed the Vancouver skyline. Today was bright and sunny, with an impossibly blue sky and little white puffs of clouds. Suddenly, she wished she was outside instead of stuck inside so much. Maybe she should ask for some outdoor time. Even just a little time in one of those little parkettes in Alliance HQ would be nice. 

Shao was there with his notepad and pen in front of him and datapads neatly organized to his left in easy reach. Elentari settled into her seat beside Shao and James took his usual seat off to the right of their table. 

Elentari had to commend James, he had his courtroom poker face down perfectly. It had been a bit rocky at first, but now it was as smooth as glass, betraying nothing. If he really learned to channel that into his poker playing, then she was screwed the next time they played Skyllian Five.

The Admirals filed in and proclaimed court in session as soon as they sat down. Fieller didn’t waste any time, bringing up the issues that Elentari was supposed to be on Horizon, but to what end had yet to be ascertained. So it really shouldn’t have surprised her to hear the words, “The prosecution calls Staff Commander Kaidan Alenko to the stand.”

And there was Kaidan, walking up to the stand and swearing the oath. This was the second time in under a year that she was seeing him. That first time had been soaring elation and then crushing hurt. And now… Kaidan still looked the same, hair full and thick in its usual, gravity-defying style. That perpetual stubble was there, looking like it was verging on five’ o’clock shadow and his brown eyes looked resolute. It also didn’t help that he looked criminally good in those dress blues. This was like having a sore spot needled over again. Maybe she wasn’t quite as over him as she thought?

Kaidan took his seat on the stand and Fieller began asking about Horizon and the purported rumours of Shepard’s presence there in excruciating detail. Elentari was pretty sure that Fieller was going to ask Kaidan what he had for damned breakfast. But then, she suddenly asked a question that completely stumped Elentari.

“Did former Lieutenant Commander Shepard ever disclose her past to you?”

Kaidan’s gaze widened momentarily before his brow furrowed in confusion. What the hell could Fieller even be getting at with this?

However, Shao seemed to hit on a realization quick. “Objection, your Honours. There is no relevance of the former Lieutenant Commander Shepard’s past to the issue of Horizon.”

“The former Lieutenant Commander Shepard and Staff Commander Alenko were engaged in fraternization. It stands to the character of Shepard that she would omit such a fact from her depositions, especially after her supposed defection.”

“Again,” Shao said pointedly. “The fraternization occurred when former Lieutenant Commander Shepard mutinied to stop Saren Arterius and the Reaper Sovereign. By Shepard and Staff Commander Alenko’s own admission, once they returned and were cleared of charges, they elected to not further pursue anything untill they had discussed their nascent relationship and fully advised the appropriate superiors. It was then rendered moot by Shepard’s death a month later. And as Shepard was and still is a Council Spectre, outside of Alliance chain of command, no rules would have been broken. JAG Fieller’s dogged pursuit of potentially redacted information from former Lieutenant Commander Shepard’s files is frankly a ridiculous waste of everyone’s time. If anything, it stands to their character that they handled such a personal matter with the utmost and dedicated professionalism.”

Elentari looked up at the stand to find Kaidan looking right at her. There was a tightness to his jaw along with a slight frown on his face and regret to his eyes. Yeah, he hadn’t been expecting this sideswipe it seemed. Right now, if she could, Elentari would be thanking him. Kaidan had insisted on doing things by the book, even though they could have used that techincality. It was covering their asses right about now. Well, his ass at least because Elentari hadn’t thought that little fact would come up for Fieller to hold against her. The Admirals were talking amongst themselves for a good bit before Silva hammered the gavel down hard as she frowned at Fieller.

“Sustained,” Silva’s expression was colder than friggin’ Noveria. “JAG Fieller, you will keep on topic for the remainder of the trial and cease with this sideways pursuit of information on former Lieutenant Commander Shepard. This court martial is to get to the bottom of current issues, mainly Shepard’s supposed connection to Cerberus and the Bahak Incident. You will cease trying to grind whatever axe you were given.”

Fieller nodded as she turned her attention back to Kaidan. “Staff Commander Alenko, is there anything you can think of, to the best of your knowledge, that would make former Lieutenant Commander Shepard suddenly defect to a terrorist organization such as Cerberus?”

Now uncertainty came to Kaidan’s face. “I can’t say for sure. We uncovered enough horrific Cerberus labs in 2183 and Shepard put a stop to it whenever she could. I really couldn’t say what would make Shepard fake her death and go work for a terrorist organization Maybe if they coerced her with something big enough, but that’s speculation on my part.”

“I see,” Fieller seemed to scent blood in the water because she didn’t let up. “And there’s nothing you can think of that would come to mind that they could use as leverage over her?”

For a few moments, Kaidan didn’t say anything but his expression was uncomfortable. And then, “When Shepard brought Dr Wayne in for questioning about his activities in Cerberus, I wasn’t too sure if she wouldn’t just outright shoot him, for what he supposedly did, since her unit died on Akuze. I think she would have shot him right then and there if she didn’t realise she needed him to corroborate what Toombs was claiming. And then something else happened later on. I wasn’t there, so it’s hearsay only to me. But there was a lower deck rumour that something happened at Chora’s Den on the Citadel and Shepard gunned someone down.”

Shit. Shit, shit, motherfucking shit. She kept her calm composure. There was no helping the Dr Wayne thing, Kaidan had been there for that. Hopefully, Fieller wouldn’t press too hard on him about that. But fucking Finch was still a pain in her side, even when dead. Fieller was going to like her response even less about that. As Elentari watched the woman try to grill Kaidan a bit more, she did debate giving a full answer. How it wasn’t a good thing that a member of a now highly xenophobic gang had tried to blackmail her into freeing people who tried to kill a turian colony. How it turned out that the Reds had been given the damned poison by Cerberus and the Reds had been ignorantly field-testing it for them. And hadn’t that been a hell of a mission she’d done with Wrex and Ashley, following the damned trail before eliminating the source of the issue. But honestly, all Fieller would do was probably twist her words to make it seem like Shepard had the choice to spare Finch.

So it was no surprise when Elentari heard herself called to the stand. The dicta-datapad was there, but she didn’t touch it. All she did was simply wait for Fieller’s question.

“Lieutenant Commander Elentari Shepard, is there any truth to the Staff Commander’s Alenko’s claim that you gunned someone down in Chora’s Den.”

For a moment, all Elentari did was look right at Fieller. Right. She’d probably start with that and then neatly segue back to the whole Dr Wayne issue. And that was a hell of a straw to grasp at. So there was no hesitation at all as Elentari kept Fieller’s gaze and very simply rasped out,

“Classified details. Spectre assignment.”

She barely heard James’ sharp inhalation of displeasure. Yeah, there’d been hell to pay coming later on. But oh, that had been a bitter pill she threw Fieller’s way. It was like a vague corroboration with the hard slap of denial. Exasperation and irritation flitted across Fieller’s expression before she took the only option left to her.

“And about Staff Commander Alenko’s claim that you would have shot Dr Wayne in cold blood, is that true or not?”

For this, Elentari bothered to pick up the keyboard, typing quickly and steadily. “ **For me, that was a difficult mission. I was faced with the the last surviving man responsible for the massacre of my unit. I fully admit that it was not my proudest moment.** ”

“A yes or no answer, Lieutenant Commander Shepard. If you could have shot Dr Wayne and gotten away with it, would you have?”

Well, shit, there was a loaded gun if she ever saw it. “ **To a certain extent, the answer is yes.** ”

“Thank you, Shepard. That will be all.”

“Redirect, your Honours?” Shao was rising smoothly from his seat.

The Admirals conversed quickly before Silva nodded and agreed with a, “Proceed.” Shao stepped out from the desk and didn’t waste a second once he was before the witness box.

“To what extent, Lieutenant Commander Shepard, is your answer yes, you would have shot Dr Wayne?”

“ **As stated, he was the last surviving member of the Cerberus cell that massacred my unit. Toombs had already killed the rest and wanted to see Dr Wayne dead. I could have shot Wayne and invoked my Spectre status to shield myself and give Toombs the closure he wanted. I said yes, I would have because I felt it was the least I could do for Toombs, who survived so much torture while I was recuperating at an Alliance facility and receiving treatment for my PTSD,** ”

Her fingers paused for a moment as she took a breath to steady herself. She needed to wrap this up quick before Fieller said she was rambling. 

“ **However, it was Staff Commander Alenko and _Domine_ Garrus Vakarian who both advised me otherwise. And I recognised that I was not being entirely unbiased on this mission. Had there been anyone else to lead it, I would have made it so. But for both my squadmates to be saying the same thing meant, I could not be trusted to make an objective decision. And also, I am not judge, jury and executioner. So I decided to listen to them and bring Dr Wayne in. Had I gone on the mission alone, it is very probable that Dr Wayne wouldn’t have been alive to bring in.”**

“Thank you Commander.” Shao said, returning back to his seat. 

Fieller had been jotting down notes, but declined to further cross-examine. Elentari stepped down from the witness stand, taking her seat beside Shao. The Admirals were murmuring amongst themselves again. Figueroa seemed the most adamant about something, making hard pointing motions while Meyers had a ferocious scowl on her face. After a few minutes, Silva brought down the gavel and adjourned the court for the day. 

“On the upside,” Shao murumured to her as he packed up his things. “Your deposition for today will be short again. Have it to me by tonight. If you can." 

He gave her a brief head nod, a twinkle in his eye. Elentari nodded back in reply turning to James. Yup, as she thought, he was frowning at her . He hustled her out of the courtroom quickly, not even giving her a chance to glance at Kaidan. Her security team fell in to their usual place around her and it was a similarly quiet ride back to their quarters. It was only when the door was shut and locked that James finally spoke. 

“Yeah, that was definitely a trainwreck. Not sure for who though.” 

“Mmm,” Elentari grunted as she plunked herself down on her bed, watching as James puttered around the kitchen. She patted around for the datapad until she fished it out from between the sheets and the pillow. “ **What are you doing?** ” 

“Nothing much.” James was pulling stuff from the freezer now. “You know what you want for dinner?” 

“ **Surprise me.** ” After a moment, Elentari was typing again. “ **I’m actually surprised you’re not asking about Kaidan.** ” 

“What’s to know? You two tried to make a go of it, didn’t work out. And now it’s probably super awkward between you two, no?” James turned to catch her nodding. “Case closed. Not rocket science. Besides,” he gave a displeased sniff. “Dude didn’t even come to visit you.” 

“ **I’m sure he has his reasons.** ” Elentari could only imagine what they were. 

“Uh huh,” James didn’t sound like he was buying it. For a moment, all that was heard was the blender going. Then James came over a few minutes later with a glass of pale orange smoothie. “Drink it, all. Should help your throat.” 

Elentari gave a half-assed salute as she took the glass from him. The first sip turned into a few gulps. It was so good and totally worth the blinding pain that would come… She grunted and hissed as it hit hard, screwing her eyes shut and pressing the heel of her free hand against her forehead. 

“ _Oh, por Dios! Cuantos años tienes? Cinco?_ ” James chuckled quietly.

Her eyes were still screwed shut but she waved a hand at him as she rode out the brain freeze. When it finally relented, she took a few breaths before carefully sipping it again. 

“ **It’s so hood,** ” Elentari sucked her teeth for a moment, typing carefully now. “ **Good. It’s good. What are you doing?** ” 

She wandered over to the kitchen area where James had rinsed out the blender and now had a whole bunch of things spread out. Corn, cornmeal, sugar, basil? She took another chug of the smoothie before putting it down and typing quickly. 

“ **Sooooooooo, what are you making here Mr Vega?** ” 

“Mr Vega, now?” James flashed her a quick smile. “ Figured you’d like to try something new. We’re gonna have _humitas_.” 

“Hm.” Was all Elentari hummed as her fingers flew. “ **Never heard of it. What’s it like?** ” 

“It’s like… Ever had a _tamale_?” James pursed his lips then shrugged slightly as she shook her head. “Eh, you’ll see. Shuck these, ditch the silk and save the husk.” 

Okay then. Elentari nodded before finishing off the rest of her smoothie and wincing through the milder brainfreeze and she stripped the corn quickly. He got her to mince and saute the onion before adding a little bullion, whistling at the tiny mince she made. It wasn’t hard to watch as James quickly got the kernels off the cobs and into the blender with some basil and cornmeal. The onions were done and everything wound up mixed up in a bowl. Elentari stared at the mixture before quickly scooping up a bit to try. 

Really damned starchy tasting, but not too bad. She smacked her lips together a bit, trying to figure out if she’d like it cooked or not. 

“Hey, _presta atención_.” 

So she did, watching and following as James overlaid two shucks and smoothed out a spoonful of the mixture. He paused to put some on hers before deftly folding it into a neat square. She stared at his neat rectangle and her… not even folded one. 

“ _Hazlo así._ ” 

James folded a bit slower now and she caught it this time. Fold into the middle, then take a long end, fold it in and then fold the final end of and leave it face down. The string was the last bit and Elentari had it down pat, tying around and over to secure the little square of corn shuck. 

“Huh.” She looked at the neat little packet in her hand. It squished a little bit, but nothing oozed out. 

“Yeah?” James asked. 

Elentari nodded with a smile, taking another set of corn shucks. These were kinda fun to make. There was a nice relaxing sort of rhythm to the filling, folding and tying. She had just finished her third one when James spoke again. 

“I actually do want to ask you something. About that assassin you killed.” 

Shepard glanced at him with a raised brow. His voice was serious and she couldn’t help but wonder just what made him wait so long. She moved to the sink, rinsing her hands and flicking them off before wiping them dry on her pants. She’d just grabbed the datapad when James spoke again. 

“Who is Thane Krios?” 

Ah shit. She’d hoped she said it quietly enough that James wouldn’t have heard. Her fingers steadily typed out the blunt answer of, “ **Thane Krios is a drell assassin.** ” 

For a few moments, James didn’t say anything. And then, “And he’s the one who taught you to straight up murder people like that?” 

All Elentari could do was stare because wow, James did _not_ pull that one at all. He was busy staring at his empty corn shucks in front of him now, as if trying to burn a hole in them. 

“I’ve been trying to figure out the how and the why of it. We had no weapons, but I’d neutralised them and you pretty much just cut their throat and —” 

Now her fingers were flying as she typed quickly. “ **Thane didn’t teacj me to straightup murdew people. That’s a little skill I acquires at a young age. Sometime on the streetd it was kill or be killed. All Thane taught ,e is what to look for.** ” 

“But why did you kill the assassin? You could have knocked them out and we could have interrogated them.” 

“ **Interrofate an assassin?** ” Elentari only wished the datapad could convey just how dryly she would have said that. But she did force herself to type a bit slower to avoid typos.“ **James, assassins are able to withstand typical interrogations as well as enhanced ones. But this assassin was cocky as fuck-all, so I took a gamble that they had an actual omni-tool osd embedded on them.** ” 

“And that’s why you murdered them?” 

“ **Precisely. Look, you don’t have to agree with it. Hell, your hands are clean of it. You had no idea what I was going to do. And it’s better than you didn’t. That assassin would have killed me and left you having to explain my corpse, if they didn’t kill you afterwards. When you managed to subdue them, I got the osd before they died to ensure the information was on it and then ensured that they wouldn’t attempt to escape to finish the damn job. Also let’s their employers know that even trying to kill me in my sleep is a bad fucking idea.**

James was silent for a long moment. “How did you know for sure the osd would have information on it?” 

“ **The assassin was cocky enough to try and kill me in my sleep. If you hadn’t come barging in, probably would have too. They knew enough to nearly get away with it. Which meant they’d be highly likely to have something incriminating on them, they fully anticipated getting out. Those types of osds… you have to take them when the person is alive. Killing them trips a fail-safe mechanism. Once the heart-rate is gone, the drive flashes itself clean. No files, no evidence. An elevated heart-rate won’t do because any number of activities can do that. But only a flat-line for a certain amount of time will trigger it.”**

“Shit.” James rubbed at his forehead with the back of his arm. “The damned report I got was redacted to within an inch of its life, so I don’t have any fucking answers really. I just see the assassin bleeding out and I’m like, ‘Was it even fucking worth it’ because I’ve got shit about the situation.” 

“ **If it’s redacted with the clearances you have, it’s got to be something really big. Might be best to just let it for now,** ” when he glared at her, she clarified with, “ **Hey, I didn’t let Eden Prime go because I wanted to stick it to Saren and get some answers. So here I am now. Locked up on Earth, spouting warnings about impending doom and no one is really listening to me.** ” 

“Some people are. I am.” James finally shrugged as he finally filled his corn shuck and folded it. “Much as I’d like intel to be perfectly clean, sometimes it’s bloody.” 

Something in his tone made her pause and really look at him. His expression was hard and his gaze was distant, like he was somewhere else. Elentari gently touched his shoulder, making him look at her as she typed. 

“ **For what it’s worth, if I can ever get you those answers, I promise I will.** ” 

James just silently nodded, gesturing to the empty corn shucks waiting to be filled. It didn’t take them long to finish off with the filling and shucks. James dug out the pot and put in the _humita_ , before filling it up with water to just cover them. Then he grabbed the salt and poured in what looked like a hell of a lot. 

Once the pot was on the stove, Elentari finished off the remains of her smoothie and started cleaning up things as James reached into the fridge once more. 

“ _No puedes tener humitas sin ensalada._ Thin wedges,” he placed a bunch of tomatoes in front of her before he did the same with the onions. “And thin strips.” 

“Yes Chef,” Elentari croaked out. 

“Seriously, quit it.” James groaned as he started cleaning the counter. “Gjelstad is really gonna kill me. He’s gonna take another look in a few days and say you still need vocal rest. The two weeks is nearly up and you keep making it worse.” 

She gently bumped her shoulder against his as she pulled stems from the tomatoes. James pointed to the onions and Elentari sighed. Yeah, she was used to chopping the things but she may as well be crying a river whenever she did. 

A giggle slipped out as she recalled the first time she had cooked in the SR-2 mess and Garrus watched. He’d nearly thrown the onions out, she’d been crying and sniffling so much. 

_‘So, humans cook with lots of food that make them cry?’_

_‘Hon, humans are omnivores. We evolved to eat pretty much any and everything. Hell, some cultures on Earth purposefully let the food rot to a particular stage and then eat it. Food that makes us cry is the least of it’_

_'Hm, most turian cuisine has some things like that. Usually just a month or so.’_

_‘Try like half a year. I heard of one being stored in the ground and left for a year.’_ Just recalling the incredulous look in Garrus’ eyes, the way his mandibles sort of sagged made Elentari roll her lips in, trying to fight the silly grin that wanted to come. 

“Never heard of anyone amused by chopping onions.” That got a small smile from James as he dried and put things away. 

Elentari just shook her head, letting the grin come through. She finished with the onions handing them over to James as she quickly dealt with the tomatoes. The onions got rinsed and soaked for a bit before James tossed them together with the tomatoes plus a little salt, oil and cilantro. 

“All right” James shoved the salad in the fridge and adjusted the temperature on the humita pot. “We’ve got about 30 minutes kill. So, we’re gonna watch an episode of _Spectre Cannae_. And you’re not gonna say a peep, right?” 

“Mmm,” Elentari made a considering noise until James shot her a disbelieving look. She nodded her head, giving him a playful punch to the shoulder. 

Settling down to watch an episode was easy enough and Elentari just snorted in amusement through half the ridiculous things done. The writing was better than Blasto and the current actor in the role, Oponia Recetis, did a good job of selling the honourable turian Spectre. It was a storyline started up just after Elentari’s defeat of Saren Arterius. Not that she could blame the Hierarchy. If it has been the Salarian Union dealing with - 

“Hey, do Spectres really get awesome shit from the Council?” 

That got a bark of laughter from her as she reached for her datapad. “ **Think about requisitioning something from the RO. Now, imagine you gotta do all of that _and_ pay for it yourself. In C-Sec.** ” 

James made a face as he watched the current Cannae grab a rocket launcher and assault rifle. “Damn, that sucks.” 

“ **Uh huh. Turns out lots of Spectres have some kind of side hustle. You have to in order to have the best shit to do the best job.** ” 

“You got one?” James honestly sounded surprised. “How’d you pull that off with the Alliance?” 

“ **Kept missions separate, and I’ll leave it at that.** ” Elentari smirked. “ **Always good to have a separate income stream.** ” 

“What, you talk to a volus or something?” James stared at her considering look. “No shit.” 

Elentari nodded as she typed. “ **All I know is that if you find one knowledgeable on galactic trading with an emphasis on Earth’s economies, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.** ” 

“Shit, now I’m getting financial advice from Commander Shepard.” James shook his head with a wry chuckle. “ _Como llegue a esto?_ ” 

All Elentari could do was grin though it fell away as she sniffed. Those humitas were smelling pretty good now. When James got up to head to the stove, Elentari followed after him to peer over his shoulder as he removed the corn shuck parcels with a slotted spoon and piled them on a plate. Elentari took a moment to grab the bowl of tomato-onion salad from the fridge. 

“How hungry are you?” James asked as he took down plates. 

Elentari eyed the full plate before holding up two fingers. James picked up two delicately, steam curling off them still as he placed them down and cut the strings off. Salad went on the plate next and then they were settling back down to watch Spectre Cannae again, though James had to rewind it a bit to catch what they missed. 

It was no effort to peel back the corn shuck to reveal… hm, the pale yellow mush had stiffened up into a dumpling of sorts. Elentari broke off a piece with her fork and popped it into her mouth. 

“Howry sh…” she trailed off around the hot morsel in her mouth. 

“You really want me dead, huh?” James quipped dryly. 

Elentari waved a hand in apology as she quickly chewed and swallowed. She broke off another piece, blowing on it before eating it and next thing she knew, she was peeling open the next one. These were so good, a little bit sweet but more like a savoury cake with some of the salad on top and yeah, she was getting full but the rest of this _humita_ was definitely getting in her belly. 

“ _Maladición, mi abuela estaría feliz!_ ” James was nearly done his. “She loved making these for people. She grew up on a farm, would make this for the market. Always sold out by mid-morning.” 

Elentari stared at the empty shucks on her plate, streaked with salad juice. Then she picked up the datapad. “ **The same _abuela_ who makes breakfast?** ” 

“Yeah, why?” 

Now Elentari was practically stabbing the buttons. “ ** _HUEVOS RANCHEROS. DESAYUNO. NO TIENES EXCUSAS!!_** ” 

That got an actual, genuine laugh out of James. “Okay, _mañana_.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously, I do not know how crime/L&O writers do it; writing legal proceeding shit is HARD. 
> 
> Yep, I do believe that the only person who had a good day was one Captain JAG Julius Shao. And possibly prosecuting JAG Fieller, depending on how you look at it. Kaidan was fine until he got blindsided. Elentari was resigned to the trainwreck and poor James, hell, he resorted to making some comfort food. 
> 
> _[Humitas](http://eatingchile.blogspot.ca/2009/02/humitas-chilean-tamales.html)_ are a Chilean dish and very tasty. I just picture James learning to cook from his _abuela_ and _mama_ and now he's kinda bonding with Elentari over that. The sweeter versions of them kinda remind me of [Bajan conkies](http://www.barbados.org/barbados-recipes-conkies.htm) and I SWEAR, I will not edit/write chapters anymore when I am hungry. Promise. And speaking of, snack time.


	16. Vas Normandy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, but everything got hectic after February and I found myself drafted into helping plan an engagement party. And honestly, I totally get why some couples just elope.
> 
> But it's the home stretch for my little fic, folks! So, here we go! :D

The courtyard was quiet, the sky tinted a pearly grey-pink with the coming dawn. There was still a slight chill to the spring air, but it didn’t bother James much. It did seem to bother Shepard either, she was just sitting there on a bench beside a large square planter and enjoying herself. At least he figured she was. Her right hand was draped over her left wrist, fingers gently stroking the smooth inlays on her bracelet. It hadn’t left her wrist since it passed clearance.If she had it her way, she probably wouldn’t have given it up since Vakarian gave it to her. 

Maybe Shepard needed to be outside more than she realised. James probably should have realised that as well too. She’d basically cooped herself up from day one and had isolated herself. That would drive anyone a little stir-crazy. The only time she really saw other people were in passing on her way to the courtroom. He glanced around, seeing most of the security team keeping guard over the entryways to the courtyard. Azu was behind the large square planter, keeping Shepard in her line of sight. Worst come to worse, Azu could whip up a shield faster than James could even blink.

Though, the birds were starting to chirp louder and it was probably getting closer to seven. They still had to grab some breakfast before heading down to court today. And then Gjelstad was doing another check-up afterwards. If James was lucky, her throat would finally be healed enough for her to ditch the reading function of the datapad. Getting Shepard to not talk was a mission in and of itseld.

James stood up slowly, catching her attention. When he nodded, Shepard stood as well, waiting for him to lead the way. It didn’t take them long to get back and even less time to whip up a quick breakfast.

The march to the courtroom was full of the usual stares, but far less whispers now. And even as they took their places in the courtroom, James could tell that today was going to be very different. The large vid screen off to one side was in standby mode, the small indicator flashing red. Once the Admirals came in, Shao wasted no time.

“If it pleases the court, there is a character witness for the defense ready to give their statement now, in real-time. They only have a small window of alloted time given to them, and so I ask that they be allowed to speak immediately.”

There were some momentary murmurs between the judges before Silva gave a nod along with a “Proceed.”

Shao hit a few buttons and a ship room flashed into view along with the suited face of a quarian. James had to try really hard to not say something. Real-time calls across the galaxy were not cheap.

“ _This is Tali Zorah vas Normandy. I can confirm that I am calling from a secure connection aboard the liveship Rayya and am alone in this locked room._ ”

Everything slowly panned around to eventually show a locked door. James stood corrected. Real-time calls from Omega had been ridiculous, clocking in at nearly 30 creds a minute. But a real-time call from a quarian ship, from who knew where? This call must have been costing a small fortune. 

_“I may be with the Flotilla now, but Commander Shepard is my captain and I am proud to be known as vas Normandy amongst my people. Because of Shepard, Normandy had come to mean many things. Courage in the face of insurmountable odds, bravery to do the right thing and nerves of steel to see the mission through. But Shepard has also made it mean more than that. She makes the crew of the Normandy into a family, one that holds together no matter how far we all wander through the stars. When Shepard came asking for my help, the only reason I came was for her. It certainly wasn’t for Cerberus. And when she cut Cerberus loose, I was right there with her, ensuring that the Normandy stayed free from their remote backdoor hacking attempts._

_“She had never done something without just cause. I was there when she hunted down Saren. Engineer Adams and I kept the Normandy flying so Joker could make that kill shot on Sovereign. I was there with Commander Shepard when we stormed the Collector base. While I don’t necessarily agree with her decision to irradiate the base, I know she did it to give the Alliance the best intel possible against the Reapers. And I hope it is an opportunity that wasn’t squandered._

_“She even warned us about the Reapers coming. Some would argue that she certainly didn’t have to warn the quarian people of what is coming. She has been trying to warn the galaxy since she defeated Sovereign. While this esteemed panel may simply dismiss the words of a single quarian, I will say this: call it whatever you will, but Commander Shepard is far more than just a Captain to me. It is my honour and privilege to call her one of my closest friends and to serve as part of her crew on both Normandy. For us quarians, our ships are our lives and I could not be prouder to serve with Commander Shepard for as long as I travel the stars, I will always be known as vas Normandy.”_

Tali gave a sharp, precise salute. _“This is Tali Zorah vas Normandy from the Flotilla, signing off.”_

The screen went dark a few seconds later and James almost felt like he could still see Tali saluting across untold light years. If anyone asked him, everyone who testified on Shepard’s behalf were going far above and beyond. Maybe Shao wasn’t having such a rough go of it as James initially thought. Everytime someone came , Fieller always seemed to be on the back foot. How else to explain the perfect calm she seemed to have going? This just seemed different from the usual calm Fieller’s had. James couldn’t have won a few poker games against Telio without learning how to get a feel for a person with a killer poker face. 

Not that Shao was done by a long shot. Somehow, the man got his hands on a vid clip from somewhere. It came with the necessary paperwork verifying it’s authenticity. He approached the bench to show it to the Admirals and now James could tell Fieller was absolutely livid. Even more so when the Admirals allowed it. This probably defied some procedure of some kind. 

But the vid that showed definitely got a reaction from Shepard. Her expression was rapt as she watched the screen. A Reaper ship being towed away by distinctly batarian ships. Her brow was furrowed deeply and if he didn’t know what to look for, James might have thought Shepard was pissed. But that expression was her fitting together some more puzzle pieces and not liking what she saw. 

When court was adjourned for the day, he was patiently watching as Gjelstad inspected Shepard’s throat. He seemed to be hesitant about something before he finally spoke.

“Your throat is healed enough for you to speak, but if you feel any strain, just ease up and switch back to the datapad. I don’t want you straining your vocal cords and popping or breaking something.” Gjelstad gave her a look worthy of a doc in a medbay. “Rest your voice if it gets to be too much.”

Shepard scowled but nodded, her voice rough as she said, “Want to put a leash on me too? Will jump yea high?”

“A leash isn’t necessary. Popping your vocal chords and leaving yourself with no voice will get my point across.” Gjelstad stated crisply as he finished his examination. “Definitely stay hydrated and you can resume your regular eating.”

James nodded his thanks, saying, “Dismissed” before Shepard could bite off Gjelstad’s head again. Once the door was closed, he looked at her, “What the hell was that?”

All Shepard did was make a dismissive sound. “Need to talk to Anderson. Now.”

For a moment, all James did was eye her. Since she had her voice back there were some things he wanted to actually talk to her about. Using the datapad would be giving her too much chance to evade answering properly. Hearing her ask in the Commander voice though… better he bite his tongue now and get Anderson here. He pulled up his omni-tool, composing a brief message. His fingers stopped once he finished as he looked back at Shepard.

“What did you want to talk to Anderson about?” his hand drifted back over the keyboard.

Shepard’s sole answer of, “Batarians” had him hitting send as soon as he could. It also got Anderson down pretty quick, though what Shepard asked him next left James wondering just what kind of leaps Shepard's brain took.

“Have any batarian refugees come to Earth requesting asylum?”

There was an intensity to Shepard’s gaze that made James think that she was already drawing up battle plans and strategies. But there hadn’t been a peep of anything in thew news. If anything, the biggest galactic news stories were about Shepard, the continued radio silence from the Hegemony and rampant speculation about the newest Blasto movie. 

Anderson was just staring at Shepard curiously now before he simply asked, “What do you know about what’s happening with the Hegemony?”

Shepard swore violently as she got up from her seat, pacing the room. “I now know they’ve been studying a goddamn Reaper corpse for nearly twenty years and the whole damn Hegemony is probably indoctrinated. You need to be careful with anyone coming to Earth. They could just be refugees or they could be sleeper agents. Just…” her hands clenched and unclenched as her brow furrowed in thought. “I need to call Noveria. Immediately.”

James frowned. Shepard’s voice was already sounding rough and not improving by the minute. He went to the sink getting her a glass of water as Anderson fired right back. 

“That’s a hell of a request. What could be on Noveria that would help with screening refugees?”

“Something I got started almost immediately when I was resurrected.” Shepard frowned now. “You let me call Noveria and the Alliance gets some shiny new tech hopefully.”

That was some impressive bait Shepard was dangling out there. Anderson seemed to be considering before he finally sighed. “You can call from my office. There’s a secure line there.”

The glass was left on the counter as James scrambled the team for an elevator ride up to the thirtieth floor. Shepard sat down at the desk, rapidly dialling in the number and watching it ring. James was not expecting a dark plated turian with a silverish face and white markings to answer.

“Commander Shepard, it’s good to see you again.”

“You as well Administrator Lorik. This is Admiral Anderson. As of now, he is also part of Project Abjure and to be kept appraised of all developments and reports. How is progress going?”

“We’ve entered the final phase of testing on the larger models. The omni-tool versions are proving to be slightly more tricky. Strangely enough, the VI itself has proven to be very helpful. And it’s not to say that we haven’t had a lack of test subjects,” Lorik’s expression became serious. “Someone knows what we’re doing and what we have here. They’ve been trying to infiltrate and sabotage the work. We’re lucky the VI got it up and running so quickly.”

“What do you have exactly?” Anderson interrupted.

“A working prothean VI, Admiral. Commander Shepard sent an agent to Ilos to retrieve it. It was apparently non-responsive to the Council team that was sent, due to indoctrinated presences.”

“Another fucking problem.” Shepard swore as she scowled.

James had to agree. If the Reapers had already infiltrated some aspects of the Council and galactic government, this was just going from bad to worse. Shepard was thoughtful for a moment and then she was pretty much issuing orders. 

“Contact Barla Von on the Citadel with the pass code 5826. He’ll see to it that you receive additional funds as needed. If he gives you grief, tell him he’ll probably make a killing in wartime,”

And wasn’t that just the most cynical thing James had ever heard. 

“And if Barla Von gives you too much grief, contact Garrus Vakarian. Tell him he has my permission to throw obscene amounts of money at you,”

Lorik laughed now and James was wondering just how much Shepard’s investments were paying off. Maybe he should be taking more advice from her. Not like he had Spectre money but had to start somewhere, right? 

“Once the handheld units are finalised, see to it that they’re deployed at the highest levels of the Hierarchy and C-Sec. Admiral Anderson will handle that for the Alliance. It may be too late for the Hegemony, but if we can stop it on our end, then it’ll be something.”

“What about the salarians and the asari?”

Shepard gave a dry snort. “You mean to tell me the salarians haven’t been sniffing around? I’ve got reports of some of their ships with Normandy- specific upgrades. They’ll get their hands on this quick enough. And the asari…” she paused thinking. “Offer it to them. Maybe some of them will bite.”

“I don’t blame your scepticism,” Lorik nodded as he picked up a datapad, typing quickly. “And once the project is done?”

“Secure the data and the prothean VI for transport. If the VI itself knows someway for it to become mobile, even better. After that, contact my agent to pick it up at their earliest convenience. After that, initiate the wildfire protocol as discussed.”

“Very good. For what it’s worth Commander, I do hope they don’t drag out your ridiculous trial any longer.”

“You and me both.” Shepard quipped. 

Lorik bobbed his head in farewell and ended the call. Shepard’s reflection in the orange screen was thoughtful, as if she were going over strategies in her head. Anderson was the one to break the silence.

“Should I even ask how you were able to hire a company on Noveria for this?”

“I just reminded Lorik Qui’in how he became administrator of Port Hanshan and said that Synthetic Insights would make a pretty penny and work with some very rare tech,” Shepard shrugged. “I had ideas for contingency plans when I died. When I was resurrected, seeing them started was one of the first things I did.”

“One of?” Anderson rubbed at his chin. “How many do you have?”

“A few, hopefully ones that will make a difference. This was the one that required immediate attention so the tech can be rolled out ASAP. I keep them on a need to know basis and went to a hell of a lot of trouble to make sure Cerberus didn’t know about any of this.”

“Commander,” James finally spoke up. “Do you think it’s possible those assassination attempts on you may have been corporate-based then?”

Shepard paused for a moment before she slowly nodded. “Entirely possible, I guess. Lorik did say there had been sabotage and infiltration attempts. Either because they want what I have with no competition or they really want me out of the way when the Reapers come,” suddenly, she grinned. “Must be doing something right.”

Anderson shook his head. “Only you would say that. Are there any other calls you need to make?” when Shepard shook her head, he followed up with, “You really think the Reapers will invade from the Bahak system?”

“Strategically, it makes the most sense. If they’ve been indoctrinated so long, Khar’shan will fall easily and quickly,” Shepard was sombre, the frown back on her face. “They set up there, make some ground troops and then start the push for other homeworlds. They know we won’t be back in batarian space anytime soon, it’s the perfect base of operations for them.”

“All of Khar’shan? But we’re talking defense, weapons grids…” Anderson trailed off. “This could be a mass exodus that happened.”

“That’s the best case scenario. At worst, the entire system has done dark and they’re on their own.”

The back and forth between Shepard and Anderson came and went in spurts. Anderson paused long enough to take notes and set up some conference calls through his assistant. James had to admit, Shepard was covering some angles he hadn’t even considered. Supply lines, accepting of war refugees, possible global stockpile locations. Her cynicism about the Council was obvious, given when Anderson asked about the Citadel all Shepard did was say, “Deal with Commander Bailey. He’ll get shit done where it needs to be. Unless you do want to deal with the Council and Udina more than necessary?” 

Then suddenly, the conversation shifted from wartime preparations to political blowback and how to best deal with the fall out. Shit, they were talking about things way above his paygrade. This was literally things of galactic importance. When there was a long pause from Anderson, he quietly asked,

“After the batarians, who is the next likely target?”

Shepard was quiet, mulling over something. “They’ll target the ones with the strongest military. Could be us, the turians, maybe even the asari. They may underestimate the salarians, given how they tend more towards espionage. I honestly have no way of knowing.”

Anderson reached into a desk drawer, grabbing something and holding it out for Shepard. James was relieved to see cough drops. God knew she needed it. Her voice was sounding like gravel by now. Shepard popped one in her mouth, grimacing. 

“Eugh, that eucalyptus crap?”

Anderson laughed, giving her a few more. “I’ll see what I can do about implementing this. I can’t give you any guarantees but I’ll do my best.”

“It’s more than we had two hours ago,” Shepard got up from the chair, stretching her arms and back. “If anything else comes up, you know where to find me.”

That got a chuckle from Anderson as he settled in the vacated seat, clearly intent on tackling this newest issue. Shepard popped another cough drop once they got in the elevator and the doors closed. Then came the crunch of her chewing on them before she was talking again.

“It’s strange you know,” at his raised brow she answered with, “Dropping the problem in someone else’s lap. I’m so used to being the one catching the ball, I never really thought I’d be throwing it.”

“Half of that shit sounded like it should be on Spectre Cannae.” James fell silent as the elevator stopped on their floor. Once the security team was dimissed again and they were back in their quarters with the usual sweeping finished, he asked, “You really think it will get that bad?”

Shepard’s nod was solemn. “It’s going to boil down to us or the Reapers. And given that the ‘us’ can barely work together on a good day…” she trailed off for a moment before shrugging, “It’s a steep challenge.”

James decided on silence as Shepard went to the fridge, pulling out sandwich ingredients. That wasn’t the most optimistic assessment he’d ever heard but it was bluntly honest. He’d take that any day of the week, it made life a lot simpler in the long run. And if it boiled down to them versus the Reapers, James could only hope the other species hopped on the bandwagon quick. When Shepard asked if he wanted his bread buttered, he shook his head. Watching her assemble sandwiches was far easier to deal with. It wasn’t long before a drink-pak was tossed his way.

The sandwich Shepard brought him was massive, lettuce and tomatoes thinly sliced and layered through out slices of meat and cheese. Screw the drink-pak. He dumped it on the table to take a big bite of sandwich. A really good sandwich, holy shit. He stared at where he bit, trying to figure out what magic she had worked.

“What, don’t like mustard?” Shepard teased before she took a bite of hers.

James shook his head, chewing and swallowing quickly. “Nah, it’s just… jarheads really don’t learn to cook. Not in basic, not in deployment. The ones I know that do either barely scrape something together during downtime or they’re biotic and really know their shit. I was just wondering where and when you learned to cook, that’s all. Was it prior to joining up or some other time?”

There was a flash of something in Shepard’s eyes as she slowly chewed. After she swallowed, she was quiet for a moment. “Seriously James, what the fuck are you doing? Babysitting me?” she gave a derisive snort. “You should be at least a Lieutenant Commander by now.”

Oh hell no, James was not having that conversation. “Going AWOL doesn’t help. Admiral Anderson put me on this duty to pay my dues. Helps that the food’s good.” He waggled the sandwich at her. 

“All right,” Shepard conceded as she took a small quick bite. “Though if you ever want to talk about whatever it was, not like I’m going anywhere.”

“Yeah, I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks.” James gave a small smile, mostly from relief. He didn’t think he’d ever really be ready to talk about the Collectors on Fehl Prime.

“Well, I can offer a bonus incentive: if you get baking supplies, I may be persuaded to bake something.”

“Did you…” James just started at her in disbelief. “¡¿ _Estás tratando de compararme con lo que galletas y pastelitos_?!”

Shepard was thoughtful for a moment. “I wouldn’t call it bribery. I mean, if I just happen to need improving on some of my baking skills and you just happen to need something delicious and comforting after a very bad memory….” She shrugged. “I can do amazing cookies and churros. Cakes, not so much but working on it.”

“ _Dios mío, tú eres..._ ” Sometimes, James couldn’t help but wonder at the twists and turns his life took.

“What, I’m not dumb enough to play Skyllian Five with you for credits. Besides this way,” now Shepard looked a touch smug. “The evidence disappears.”

James scrubbed a hand over his face, trying his best to not laugh. “I think you’ve taken those salarian books you’re reading to heart too much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two cameos!


	17. Theoretical

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, it's Tuesday! *posts*

A solid month. After all the bombshells Shao dropped that last day in court, a brief recess of a few days had been called. Then it was a week, then two. And it was now a month and there was still no sign of court being called to session.

Though, Shepard didn’t seem too bothered by it though. She still kept her same routine, but added in an evening workout. And since Gjelstad gave her yet another admonition about not pushing her voice, she had buried herself solely in language books, practicing different scripts. 

And that wasn’t even when she was sending James more files of the books she had read and yeah, she still remembered about teaching him how to hack and sabotage things. He had no time for nightmares when he was dreaming about blocks of code scrolling by and error noises occassionally popping up. Shepard was sitting at the desk, reading over something as she absently stroked over one of the bracelet inlays. 

The flash of a message alert made him pull it up. Just another book request from Shepard. He narrowed his eyes, looking at her sitting at the desk. After a moment, he set up the quarantine program and opened the message. So far, nothing, just a list of more books she wanted to read, some UCC matches and -

A momentary flicker had him pulling up the background functions. Sure enough, there was Shepard, trying to hack through the back quietly. James knew he was never fast enough to outhack someone, but his omni-tool came with some VI functionality. It had taken so much muffled swearing and a lot of Shepard hacking in, but James thought he maybe had it this time with his idea.

“What the shit?” Shepard’s confused words brought a smile to his face. 

“Something wrong?”

“Uh uh,” Shepard absently replied, both arms on the desk now, her focus like a laser. “I’ve… shit, what the fuck is this?”

“Palaven Standard giving you that much of a headache?” 

James’ innocent tone was worth the murderous look that Shepard shot him. She turned her attention back to the datapad for a bit before she threw her hands up.

“How did you pull off that hell version of hacking whack-a-mole?”

“Wasn’t easy ‘cause tech ain’t my thing. Had the VI randomize the hack packets in quarter second bursts. So it flashes across the screen just long enough to see it but not hit it. And because it’s randomised, there’s no way to accurately guess where.”

“What did you set as the randomiser?” Shepard looked genuinely curious now. 

“Pi. I figured a number that doesn’t end would be frustrating enough.” 

Shepard burst out laughing. “Tali would love this. I bet she could turn you into a hacking genius.”

“Me?” James snorted and shook his head. “I just came up with that because I know I couldn’t outhack you.”

“Work some more on it then. I want to see if Tali could demolish your program. See that it doesn’t happen. Hopefully, if I see her again, I’ll mention your little trick to her, see how she likes it.”

“You think?” James rubbed at the back of his neck. Everything he’d read about the quarian machinist made him think his little program wasn’t much against what Tali could probably whip up. “I mean, that you’ll see her again?”

“Yeah, I do. Something’s going on with the quarians, I don’t see it getting better anytime soon.”

That pensive look was back on Shepard’s face and James decided to not press it. “Well, so far, you got your high-ranking turian to come testify for you, a krogan representative who you easily proved will actually listen to you. And I’ll be honest, Tali’s testimony was the politest yelling that I’ve ever seen at any Alliance Admiral. So, I feel this bears asking, where the hell is Mordin hiding? He doesn’t have anything to say?”

Shepard’s laugh was deep, right from the belly with amusement. “I don’t know where Mordin is exactly. He went off to, and I quote, ‘Do some good. Continue ground-breaking research, excellent challenge. Time for retirement later.’,” she shook her head with a smile. “After Bahak happened, I think they knew what I was gonna do. Not that everyone was happy about it. But I never asked them to come to my defense, I knew what was on the line for some of them. It was too much to ask.”

“Yeah, well,” James shrugged. “Some of them figured fuck the consequences.”

All Shepard did was give a half shrug, but she went back to absently stroking the bracelet from Garrus. “I have no idea where that vid footage came from. Never seen anything like it, even with my Spectre clearance.”

James could see where she was heading with this. “STG?”

“Maybe? I have no damned idea. But it sure explains much about what’s going on with batarians and the Hegemony.”

“Could the Hierarchy have stepped in?’ James mused as he rubbed his chin. 

“Doubtful. The batarians are pretty isolationist. They have no allies to call on, really. If it’s merc bands willing to help them, then it’s even more doubtful. Creds speak for mercs. Just…” Shepard shook her head. “I would hope that turians and humanity maybe have better relations before the shit hits the fan. We need things to be less tentative between us.”

James couldn’t help his snicker. He only had about thirty seconds of seeing them together, but honestly? Tentative was the very last word he’d use to describe Vakarian and Shepard. 

“As such,” Shepard rolled her eyes with a grin. “I really need to brush up on cultural protocols. With an emphasis on turian, quarian and salarian.”

“Okay, turians I get and the salarians, but quarians?” James couldn’t figure that out.

“The quarians have the single biggest fleet, hands down.Even if they evacuated civilians to the liveships and pressed some more ships into service, it’s still a formidable fleet. We’re gonna need every single scrap of resources we can find.”

“No asari?”

Shepard made a face at that. “I don’t mind the asari, but Jesus, I could really do without Tevos’ and her fucking… smugness. To get something from her, I just know I’ll have to kiss her ass, thank her for the privilege and then do some big favour. Besides, the only few asari I’ve spoken with that I care to give my time to and won’t waste it are Liara T’soni, Matriarch Aethyta and Samara. Liara said she had some special project to do when we docked at the Citadel. As to Aetheya, no damned idea. She wasn’t at Eternity on Ilium when I docked there after the Omega relay. And Samara, well, she’s a justicar and I released her from her Oath of Subsumation. She’s off doing her thing now in asari space.”

“Okay then,” James drawled. “Hit a sore spot. Shepard doesn’t like dealing with asari bigwigs.”

“Hell, just bigwigs. I really don’t. Five minutes with the Council usually makes me feel like knocking their heads together. It's not much better when I have to work with Udina. And I am not looking forward to dealing with a dalatrass one-on-one on any level. I’ve always dealt with STG members so far. Far less frustrating.”

“I dunno, you’re studying all these languages. Seems like you figure you’ll get a one up on someone somewhere.”

“In a nutshell,” Shepard sighed heavily as she rubbed at her brow. “Always amazing what people say when they think you don’t speak the language.”

“Ain’t it the damned truth. Do you speak anything else besides English and Spanish?”

“Galactic standard, you know, ICT. But anything other than those three, fluently? No. I can speak some Urdu, Mandarin and Russian, but it’s nothing really polite. Just some phrases, threats about how I’m about to fuck shit up.”

“So… really blunt political talk then?” James quipped.

“Yeah, you could say that.” Shepard chuckled. “I still think maybe cracking some skulls would be easier. Did you ever finish reading those books I sent you?”

There was no denying it, James outright froze as he looked at her. After a moment, he asked slowly, “Why, are you going to give me a pop quiz?”

All Shepard did was look at him before she gave a slow smile. “Why, would you like one?”

“No no,” James shook his head. “I still got six books to get through. I can’t read as fast as you.” He eyed her datapad on the desk. “Salarian texts are just…”

Shepard nodded. “Yeah, it nearly bored me to tears.”

James gave an assenting grunt as he got up, heading to the kitchen to get a pot of coffee going. _Sabes, eso no significa que tenga que aburrirme hasta la muerte._ ”

 _“Yo sufro, tu sufres._ ” Shepard waved a hand airily as she turned her attention back to the datapad. “Can you fix me a cup?”

It didn’t take long and before long James was setting the cup of java in front of her. He had it down pat by now. A single splash of milk and no sugar, the coffee was always the same. Tea was taken straight, usually with the bag in which stumped James to no end. 

“Gragere.” Shepard muttered before she paused and gave a little shake of her head. “Gracias.”

“De nada. Mashing up words in your head already, huh?”

Shepard nodded. “Agere.”

“No fair, I don’t speak Palaven Standard.”

“Yeah, I know. And Garrus isn’t here to rat me out.”

James sucked his teeth in mock annoyance as Shepard flashed him a grin. Quiet settled down over the room as they got to reading. James was doing his best to not gouge his eyes out. Espionage had never really been his strong suit. The salarian texts were all cloak and dagger shit and why was this so boring? At least in spy vids, things blew up. And there were dramatic car chases. But as he scrolled through the table of contents, he spotted a chapter with a description about optimal programs for data harvesting viruses and datapad encryptions.

Huh. He selected the chapter and started reading it. Maybe there was some useful things in here. Before he knew it, Shepard was waving a hand at his face. 

“Hey, _comida_.” 

And a golden brown grilled cheese sandwich with a bowl of chicken soup was placed on his lap on a tray. Hell, when had Shepard even cooked? He stared at his food in surprise for a few moments before he dubiously eyed his datapad, Well, shit, this chapter in particular was clearly anything but boring.

“Pop quiz at the end of the week,” Shepard sang as she settled back down to her book with a meal on hand. 

“Yeah yeah,” James waved away her words before picking up a sandwich half in one hand and the datapad on the other. “ _Muchas gracias._ ”

Shepard’s mumble of, “ _De nada __ _” around a full mouth made him grin as he looked back at the datapad. They were going on about utilizing Whiplash algorithms on the fly, which wasn’t totally beyond him. Well, it was but he’d figure it out.__

____

____

__________________________________________________________

From what James could tell, Shepard had to be a genius on some level. They were entering week five of their court recess now and it was freaky just how hard Shepard was pushing herself with learning the xeno-languages. Even more so at her growing proficiency with them. Her written Khelish was improving steadily, as was her Covus and her Palaven Standard Thevox. When he glanced over, all he saw was her stylus moving a mile a minute and her brow furrowed in concentration.

The speaking came a just a day afterwards. James quickly requisitioned a set of audio earplugs for her. And honestly, he didn’t know if it made it worse or better. Sometimes she had both in and would yell out words absurdly loud. Or she’d just have one in and it would clearly be the same word repeated a litany of times but with different stresses. 

Actually speaking Thevox proved to be fairly challenging for her. A human throat just couldn’t mimic some of the sounds. And it wasn’t that she didn’t try. It was just that sometimes, it reminded James of a cat hacking up a hairball. Or she’d be trying to rumble something and it came out more like a growl. It wasn’t quite the sound he expected at first and then James wondered how much he should worry because was that sound even really possible, was Shepard okay and not gonna trash her throat again?

But Shepard kept at it with an admirable stubborness and James didn’t say a thing when he noticed a request for instruction books on Thessian. It wasn’t the fact that Shepard requested books on the asari language, but they were triple the size of any other book. 

Shepard didn’t say much, just skimming over the files when he transferred them to her and then went back to her original three. 

Add in the exercising, cooking meals, the daily morning trips to the courtyard and Shepard was actually keeping busy. And keeping him busy by default with other things to read and springing pop quizzes on him. Though it consisted of her chatting with him and sneaking in questions on things. It definitely kept him on his toes, since he never quite knew what it would be about. It felt a bit like mental acrobatics to keep up with her. Though, speaking of…

“You crack open those Thessian books yet?” James peered at her slouched out across the bed.

Shepard made an annoyed sound of denial as she looked at him. “It’ll take more than my lifetime to learn Thessian. I’m just focusing on keywords and terms that I should probably know. Actually, what I probably should be doing is reading up more on asari religion and culture.”

“Got some books in mind?”

“Give me a few days,” Shepard pursed her lips in thought. “ Gotta figure out what’s worth my time and isn’t assuming I have fifty years to read the damn thing.”

James shook his head with a laugh. “You’re way more brainy about this stuff that I’d have ever thought.”

“It’s just tactics if you think about it. Seeing what you have and using it the best you can. I mean, trust me, if it came down to it, I’m pretty sure half my crew could have trounced me. Like when I woke up Grunt.”

Right, Grunt had an arm across her neck, a flex away from a chokeout and Shepard had her pistol aimed at one of his hearts, point-blank. “Hope for the best but plan for the worst.”

“Precisely. I know my strengths and I know my weaknesses. I’ll take directing a battlefield over meetings and politics any day of the week. I’m not nearly as tactful as Ambassador Udina would like me to be.”

“So,” James drawled. “I may have heard a lower deck rumour back in the day that you yelled at the Council.”

“Not yelled. Forcefully stated, maybe.” Shepard wiggled a hand. “But they tried to discount the Reapers from the get-go, even after Sovereign was defeated. Shouldn’t be surprised they really went for it when I died.”

James hummed in agreement. “Okay, so say I’m on your crew. We drop into a location, geth and krogan everywhere —”

“Any given day in 2183.” Shepard chuckled.

“And,” James ploughed on. “We’ve got two objectives to complete: eliminate a target and retrieve something they’re carrying,”

“Still really sounding like 2183.”

James waved a hand at her quip. “And this base is on a planet with a Level 2 cold hazard.”

“Shit, this is sounding like Antibaar a bit. If there’s a Colossus and two Primes to deal with, I’ll just hit it with the Cain. Boom, done.” She paused for a moment before adding on, “Literally.”

“No no, let’s say there’s a base,” James fought back his laughter. “With some ground forces guarding something of Galactic Importance.”

“Galactic Importance?” Shepard sputtered with laughter at his solemn nod. “Okay, _Spectre Cannae_. “What are the ground forces like?”

“The whole damned playbook.On approach you see 3 Colossus with supporting Armatures, snipers in nests with some krogan patrolling on foot with geth, both armed with rocket launchers.”

“Hm,” Shepard was thoughtful for a moment. “ Above ground base or underground bunker? Single team or two?”

“ Underground bunker. Single team.”

“And would I be right in assuming that one of my team is an illustrious Lieutenant by the name of Vega.”

“Course.” James preened a bit. Serving with Shepard was probably something that’d only happen in a fantasy anyways...

“Okay then. And his speciality?”

“If it takes ammo and has a trigger, I can shoot it.”

“Ah, Arms Master like me. Ha, these suckers won’t know what hit ‘em. I’d bring Tali on this mission. That’s it. Do we have a ground vehicle?”

“M-35 Mako.”

“Oh, thank god it’s not that shit-ass Hammerhead.” A shrewd gleam came to Shepard’s eyes. “So, we are not fucking around here. Use the Mako cannon to blast the snipers out the nests. Nothing worse than worrying about potshots. Once they’re dealt with, we go in scorching hot.”

Yeah, getting out of a Mako to take on the formidable forces still remaining seemed like near suicide. But then,

“And because we have Tali, we’re gonna have her hack those heretic rocket launchers, make quick work of those krogan. Redundant organs and all are good, but taking a rocket to the gut and then being immediately underfire?” Shepard shook her head as she hissed through her teeth. “And we send the hacked heretic ahead of us. Easy, distracting cannon fodder while we get back into the Mako. And since Colossus and Armatures are slow, we can pick off the krogan that come to us with the cannon.”

“And the Colossus and Armatures?”

“Ram ‘em both. They take awhile to get back up. Tali strips the shield, I sabotage them. You unleash a Carnage on the Colossus and we keep moving as we quickly bug bite them down. Hop in the Mako, repeat with the other two sets.”

“Bug bite Colossus and Armatures? Those suckers are bad enough in the Armax arena, but in real life?” James whistled. “What kinda N7 ammo magic are you working.”

“Pfft,” Shepard grinned. “Incendiary. Disruptor. Take your pick.”

James shook his head, fighting his grin. Yeah, he should have known. “Okay, so we get down into this base,”

“And Chatika says we have more to tangle with inside. Chatika is Tali’s combat drone.” Shepard explained. “Are we talking those prefab bunkers? You know, the ones with poly-alu silaquartz windows? You know, walk in, turn left, go down corridor, big room with those crates to snake around?”

“Bingo.”

“All right. And Chatika says we have to deal with…”

“Two Primes, three Destroyers, and a small army of shock troopers.”

Now that seemed to make Shepard take pause. It was easy to see her brain working before she asked,

“Any cover in the first room?”

James shook his head. “Not much and it’s far back.”

“Shit, okay, so you and Tali would take cover on opposite sides of the first door. I go to the first door, open it and fire a few shots before bolting back to cover and get my sniper rifle out.”

“Funnel ‘em down?”

“Heretics are drawn to gunfire,” Shepard said wryly. “And if you take out the Primes and the Destroyers first, the shock troopers networking capabilities and cut in half. Much easier to mop up the small army. Gratutious use of grenades included.”

“Music to my ears.” James sang. “But you gotta admit, that sounds a little too neat.”

“Oh it’d be a shitshow at some point. A Prime or Destroyer gets to close, flushes us out of cover. But I’ve learned that Heretics burn just as well as organics. And Destroyers explode if you strip their shields and hit ‘em with two Carnages simultaneously. Hm, maybe we should watch some _Spectre Cannae_ tonight.”

“Nah, man, Blasto is where it’s at. Blasto 6 looks like it’s gonna be good.”

“You know,” Shepard mused after a moment. “I totally respected you. And then you said that. Blasto, really?”

James raised a hand to stop any further protest. “Blasto is good for a few things,” a finger snapped up. “Cheesy dialogue, followed by a metric shitton of explosions,” the second finger was promptly followed by the third. “And junk food. I mean, action movie just means popcorn. Hell, _Spectre Cannae_ has been going on for what, 25 years?”

“Yeah, and as a Spectre, I can tell you that it feels like this current Cannae is getting close to the end of her life expectancy,” Shepard ran a hand over her head. A frown came to her face. “You ever get that trimmer?”

“Shit, yeah, ages ago.” James gestured with his thumb to the bookcase where a small zippered bag sat. “Want a trim now?”

“Please.” Shepard gently stretched out a curl. “Hair’s getting too long.”

“Hop on in,” James got up and patted the back of the chair as he got the trimmer kit. “If you like, I can put on a Blasto movie.”

Shepard spat out a word at him in Thevox. All James did was pull out the thin vinyl cape, settling it around her shoulders, giving her a mild look.

“Sure you got that right?” he teased.

“ _¡Jódete_!” Shepard grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, I don't really know much about programming. But I do recall the hacking modules in ME2 and thinking sometimes, "Imagine if that shit moved around. I would cry and never want to hack anything ever." And voila, there it is.


	18. Moreau

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wednesday is Hump Day, so have a chapter to start coasting to the weekend.

If James ever, in his life, had to deal with AIA he would definitely be giving them a wide berth. Watching this trial unfold told him that every damned thing would be scrutinized and then some. 

It was happening with Shepard to a ridiculous degree . The court-martial had resumed after a month. It commenced the start of the two freaking longest months of James Aldemo Vega’s life. Every single sighting of Shepard in the Terminus warranted a full blown explanation. Though Shepard usually rasped out a very straightforward answer. Repairs, stock-up trip, refuelling, or even just shore leave for the crew. Any trip to Omega was especially scrutinised as was her supposed connection to Aria T’Loak. James didn’t want to know how Shepard pulled that off. 

Yesterday had been a fairly calm day, with Dr Karin Chakwas testifying before her posting to the Citadel. Honestly, James had to hand it to the doc, she was cool grace under fire. Chakwas was entirely unruffled by Fieller. Every single word that passed her lips was pure courtesy and professionalism, even as she gave off subtle vibes of disdain and anger.

Today, James had figured it would be more of the same before he spotted the brown hair and leaning figure of Jeff Moreau in the courtroom. And Fieller had wasted no time, calling Moreau to the stand within twenty minutes. 

Truth be told, James never thought this was how he would ever see some of the infamous Normandy crew. Maybe serve with some of them one day if he was lucky enough. But he’d read of their exploits and could only hope to be half as good as Shepard one day.

And watching as Moreau limped up to swear the oath, James didn’t really know what to think. Moreau’s reputation definitely proceeded him. Mouthy, ballsy and loyal to a fault to his ship and Commander. Not to mention Moreau’s infamous stunt that made him pilot of the Normandy and entered into boot camp legend. It wasn’t every pilot who could hijack a ship, run an obstacle course under fire and smash the previous record and then have an Alliance captain and turian general demanding he fly the ship.

But where Chakwas had been elegant and refined grace, Moreau looked like he was spoiling for a fight. One wrong phrase and that was it, Moreau would go off like a cannon blast at a painted target.

And as Fieller began their examination, Moreau’s expression quickly went from hostile to belligerent. Not that James could really blame him, since Fieller was just skirting the line of being a pushy pendejo. When she was finished and Shao began his cross- examination his questions were fairly precise. Why did you initially go to Alchera, please clarify on your subsequent questioning of your actions leading to the Normandy going down, any and everything to further clarify his actions. 

“Redirect, your Honours?” Fieller asked once Shao finished. At Silva’s nod, Fieller stood and slowly approached the witness stand. “Now, in regards to Alchera and your dereliction of duty —”

“My dereliction of duty —” Moreau bit out, his back stiff as a board.

Fieller wasn’t having Moreau’s interruption. “When you defied your order to abandon ship, resulting in—”

A chair screeched loudly. “We know what it resulted in!”

Shepard’s angry outburst ended with her voice cracking hard. She was standing up, her entire body tense with fists clenched at her sides. They shook, white knuckled with her fury and the fire in her eyes only relented when she shifted her gaze from Fieller to Moreau. Something flickered over Moreau’s face before he scowled, rage settling firmly into place.

“You wanna talk about my dereliction of duty? I think you mean what it cost the fucking Alliance and not what it cost me,” Moreau’s expression was thunderous and the lightning of his words crackled. “You think I give a flying shit what you think? Let me make something abundantly clear to you: if Shepard asked me to haul my crippled ass out of my seat to kill someone with my bare hands, I’d fucking do it even if it broke every single bone in my damned hands. And that’s the least of what I’d do for her,”

“Mr Moreau —” Fieller tried.

“You think I don’t realise that Shepard died for me? Because of me?” Moreau snarled out. “You think I don’t know what happened over Alchera was partly my responsibility? Do you know what it is to see your Commander and best friend spin out into space, watching as her suit vents the fucking air she needs? Watch her burn as she—” he stopped for a moment, breathing hard as he struggled to compose himself. “And after all of that, when we finally get rescued I get fucking benched. But no, not because of my dereliction of duty but because you assholes in AIA thought I fucking colluded to get the best damned Commander in the fleet killed.”

“Mr Moreau,” Fieller tried again. “I know you’re bitter—”

“No, I’m fucking angry. And since you dipshits were raking me over the coals and jerking me around, hell yeah I went to work for someone who offered me everything I ever wanted and the one thing I didn’t dare to even fucking hope for. When they told me Shepard was back, I didn’t believe it, not until I saw her with my own two eyes.

“I won’t lie, I thought maybe those Cerberus dicks cloned her. But when a crazy genius mad scientist tells you that the fucking impossible’s been done, guess what? I’m going to believe him. Hell, that crazy salarian even managed to make my Vrolik’s less damaging. So whatever Shepard tells me to do now, guess what, I fucking do it. 

“When she says we’re turning ourselves in in after that FUBAR situation in Bahak, I say it’s a bad fucking idea as I fly us to the Citadel. And surprise surprise, I get benched again and you try the Commander on fucking war crimes. I didn’t realise we were at war with the Hegemony. But I bet you guys haven’t been hearing from them lately, have you?” Moreau gave a dismissive sniff. “The only damned reason I bothered with this idiocy was to help her out since my own fucking investigation results are still pending.

“You guys are so quick to hang Shepard out to dry with this raw fucking joke of a trial but I swear to God, when the fucking Reapers roll in, and our asses are hanging out there, you better pray Shepard even deigns to help because it’ll be more than the Alliance deserves for putting her through this bullshit.”

The silence in the courtroom stretched on as Moreau glowered at Fieller. Vakarian and Chakwas had give elegance and dry wit. Grunt had been like a little frag grenade. Moreau… he’d just delivered a scorched earth bombardment of harsh words.

Fieller was quiet for a moment. “While the supposed existence and actions of the Reapers is in question, yours and former Commander Shepard’s are not. Nothing further, your Honours.”

Moreau was dismissed from the stand, giving a derisive little sniff as he carefully made his way back to his chair and two awaiting guards. The admirals were murmuring amongst themselves. James was more surprised that Moreau wasn’t held in contempt because his feelings were pretty damned clear, not to mention quite possibly Shepard’s. But there was no denying Moreau’s point, especially because James was watching all this bullshit unfold: Shepard was being given a raw fucking deal, all for the appeasement of a two-faced government.

Shepard was sitting in her chair, stiff as a board and expression as hard as granite. It didn’t let up when court was dismissed and they were safely back in her quarters. Shao was the first one to speak, breaking the long silence.

“Considering all the times you could have blown up, a single outburst isn’t the worst thing.”

All Shepard did was nod, leaning back against her desk. “It won’t happen again.”

“I think it’s finally winding down, especially with the lack of communication from the Hegemony. If Fieller has any damned sense, she’ll see it too and then it’s closing statements. The end is in sight, Shepard. And Lieutenant Vega?” 

“Sir?” James stood to attention. 

“May I say you have done an exemplary job of keeping the Commander alive and being one of the best damn rocks I have ever seen in my life.”

“Doing my job, sir.” James saluted.

“Could use more marines who ‘do their job’ with your level of dedication,” Shao nodded as he headed for the door. “You’ll hear from me tonight if there’s another session tomorrow.”

Silence fell again in Shao’s wake and James turned his attention to Shepard. She was still against the desk, arms crossed and a frown on her face. James had been with her long enough to know that was her worried face. He headed for the fridge, opening the freezer door and reaching for the frost covered tub in the back. It had been sitting in there for awhile now, might as well break it out. He wrapped the small container in a dishcloth, grabbed a spoon and opened it up before coming back over.

“Hey,” he stabbed the spoon in it before giving it to her. “ _Aquí, es el asqueroso sabor que te gusta._ ”

Shepard looked at the tub of mint chocolate chip in surprised before she took it, carving out a huge chunk. Once a few spoonfuls had disappeared, she finally spoke.

“Sometimes, all I can do is think about that day. Could I have done anything different, saved Joker and myself somehow…” she trailed off shaking her head. “Not just cause of that whole ‘captain goes down with the ship’ crap, but you know…”

“Yeah, I know,” James leaned against the desk beside her. “Those tough calls.”

Shepard shook her head. “It was more than that. I don’t have any family. It’s just me. It’s always been just me. For a long time. And when I finally felt like I had one again, Akuze happened. I hadn’t fully realised it until after all that shit with Saren went down, that I had a family again. I would lead them into hell and I sure as hell would gladly stay there if it meant they all got out safe.”

“Oh,” James realised what she was getting at. “You just wonder if there was anyway to save yourself after saving Joker.”

“Could I have pushed off, avoided the explosion that nicked my suit and airlines. Hidden in the debris somehow until we were rescued, or would have the Collectors scanned the debris field for me? I always come up with nothing.” She was quiet for a few more spoonfuls. “I just want to tell him to stop blaming himself.”

That was something James was not gonna touch. “I dunno. Seemed like he was way more pissed about how they were treating you. Maybe it brought up memories for him too.”

Shepard gave a huff around a mouthful of ice cream. “Do you know,” she quickly swallowed. “That he did that Mako drop on Ilos with only twenty feet? I think Pressly thought I lost my damned mind when I told Garrus and Kaidan to suit up. Bet he thought we’d be splattered on Ilos.”

“Well, that’s the kinda of people you want on your team, right?” James was definitely not going to comment on her wet looking eyes. “The ones that make insane shit look like cakewalk.”

“Yeah, that’s Joker. Best damned helmsman in the fleet and I wouldn’t want anyone else. Man, even after I was resurrected Joker was the first one I saw and said I was me. Man, he was so pissed with Kaidan after Horizon.”

The sound Shepard made was somewhere between a laugh and a sob. James was not commenting on that. Nope, not at all.“Yeah, he didn’t take it well, did he?”

“Would you if your former dead flame was suddenly back and working with a known terrorist organization?”

“Fair point. Did you try to explain it to him?”

“I fucked it up when I saw him. I just wanted him back with me so badly, because I knew I could trust him absolutely. And when I tried messaging him afterwards, still silence for a bit so I just left him be.”

“What do you mean, for a bit?”

“He sent me a message about what happened on Horizon a few weeks afterwards. But I never had the heart to open it, just to be condemned some more. I just archived it. And to be honest, I didn’t trust reading anything that came to me on that damned ship. Unless it was mission specs or hilarious spam messages, I didn’t read it. The possibility that Cerberus could use it as ammunition was too high. And by the time I could ensure confidentiality, we were hitting the Collectors and then Bahak happened…”

“It’s still sitting in your extranet box?”

“Yep. And now being here, I really don’t dare read it, not with everything being scrutinized.”

“Damn,” James thought back to the sole glimpse he had of Shepard with Garrus. “You are gonna at least talk to him, right?”

“When I can,” Shepard sighed. “And won’t that be fun. Probably just gonna shut me out again and say I cheated on him.”

“Hey, you never know. Give the guy a chance.” James bumped her shoulder with his. “I bet you’d be a hard one to get over. Garrus is pretty damn lucky.”

“I like to think so,” Shepard grinned. “I mean, if we can survive helpful sex advice from Mordin, I think we can survive anything.”

“What?” James sputtered with laughter.

“Oh yeah, apparently Mordin talked to Garrus said something about it being ‘imperative that Shepard survive so we all do’. When he talked to me, he basically said, ‘don’t swallow’.”

“ _¡Oh por dios!_ ” James was blushing hard enough for her. “And I thought the talk from _mi madre y tío_ was bad enough. _Creo que podría haber muerto allí._ ”

“Embarrassment factor of infinite. Also fun fact: there are tests that can be run if you do want to swallow.”

And James was officially nuclear red now. Shepard seemed to find it vastly amusing though because she was cracking up beside him. 

“Holy fuck, you’re redder than a heat sink!” she hunched over the ice cream, shaking with laughter. 

“That’s, uh, good to know… I guess.” James rubbed at the back of his neck. 

Shepard settled down to giggling as she kept eating the ice cream. But her mood seemed to have vastly improved. The tub was about halfway done and showing signs of melting when she spoke again.

“You ever wonder just why Anderson gave you this detail? I mean, really wondered.”

“I dunno,” James shrugged. “Maybe he figured we’d patch each other up somehow.”

“Yeah, that does sound like Anderson,” Shepard considered the ice cream “I’d offer you some but you don’t like my, and I quote, hideous flavour.”

“Well, it is. That combo should have died out ages ago,” James shuddered. “But, I think there’s hotdogs in the fridge.”

“We got potatoes. I’ll make fries. And we’re on the last episode of Spectre Cannae, so we can finally watch some UCL matches.”

“Which one do you have in mind?” James pushed off from the desk to head to the fridge.

“I think the 2184 final match is gonna be good. New York Crushers versus Jakarta Berserkers.”

James only vaguely recalled that year. Somehow two complete underdog teams got to the final match. “All I know is everyone lost their shit when that happened.”

“Should be a good one then. And since you don’t watch UCL, care to put a little wager on it?” Shepard grinned.

James made a show of stroking his chin thoughtfully. “If the Crushers win, you make something new for dinner tomorrow.”

“Hm, alright. And if the Bersekers do their thing, you get to eat a pint of this hideous flavour.”

“Aw, c’mon! That’s just mean.” James groaned. But with Shepard wide grin, he found himself shaking his head as he shook her hand. “Alright you’re on. Now let’s get dinner done so I can figure out what you're cooking tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Joker on the stand was one of the first scenes I wrote for this fic and every time I read it I was like, "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAS GO OFF JOKER!!!" And also, you think you know your character and then they shock you by liking mint chocolate chip. How could you do this to me Elentari?


	19. Final Statement

Five months. Five long, excruciating months.

She looked out around the courtroom, the tables with the lawyers, the chair James sat in like a statue… 

One thing Hackett had asked of her had finally come down to this. Fieller had made her closing statements and had used every word but ‘monster’ to describe her and her ‘questionable actions made with a severe lack of judgement’. Shao, as always, rose to the occassion: she was the very epitome of what a N7 and an Alliance soldier should be, going above and far beyond the call of duty when asked for the greater good of all, not just humans alone.

And for some reason, the Admirals wanted a final statement from her. The why of it totally escaped her, but here she was. To be honest, Shao had mentioned this possibility, had told her to prepare something. It was practically burned into her brain. But it didn’t feel like nearly enough. In all likelihood, this was probably going to be her final official statement on record. And honestly, she didn’t want to join the ranks of N7 dishonourable discharges. The small company was questionable at best.

Hell, she may as well take a page from Joker’s book.

“What happened on Eden Prime was not my choice. To have the fate of an entire civilization and their warning burned into my brain. But I knew that would be our fate unless I stopped Sovereign and Saren Arterius. And I knew that for the war to come, we would need allies. The cost of those allies were 2,400 human lives, 3,000 turian ones and 500 asari.

“I sure as hell didn’t ask to die, even less to be resurrected by a terrorist organization.They wanted me to look into the disappearance of human colonies. And it was very clear to me that absolutely nothing was done about the Reapers. For two solid years not a thing was done and everything I had said and claimed was dismissed as crazy, chalked up to stress.

“Do you know precisely how many humans went missing from the Terminus Systems? Let me tell you, just in case: just over two million people. And if you watched the leaked video, believe me the Collector ship could have easily held every single person from Earth and the Terminus. And I really wouldn’t be surprised if other species were collected as well.”

Elentari paused for a moment, taking a few breaths. It wasn’t as if the Hierarchy and the Republics were talking about their own missing colonies. Add in those reports of rogue Collectors she never got to investigate and she didn’t even want to imagine how bad it would be now. 

“Yes, I made a deal with the Devil. But Cerberus were the only ones actively looking into our missing colonies, gave me the resources needed to end the Collector threat once and for all. And if you think I went to all the damn trouble of saving the base and extracting those advanced IFF protocols for Cerberus’ sake, then I don’t think anything I say will convince you. The Alliance needs all the intel it can get and I just gave the biggest trove I found, neatly packaged with the goddamn key.

“We have wasted so much time against the Reapers. They’ve had time to study us all, learn our tactics and how we’ll respond. The batarians are pretty much wiped out, the Reapers took Khar’shan quickly and easily. And when they come from the Viper’s Nest, they’ll probably hit the turians and then us. Two biggest militaries, wiped off the board before moving on to the salarians and asari? It’s a win-win for them.

“What you need to understand is that the Reapers are coming and this will not be like any war fought before. There will be no offer of surrender. They will harvest us down to the last person. Anyone indoctrinated will be left behind as empty shells to die. This war will be for the outright survival of our species, of all current species. It will be for vengeance for those who came before us. And all I can hope is that we still have some chance, that we haven’t doomed ourselves already before the war even starts.”

The only thing that interrupted the heavy silence was the quiet, “Dismissed from the stand” that Silva gave. Elentari was only back in her seat for a few minutes before Silva declared the trial over and that the admirals’ deliberations would commence. The walk back to her quarters felt longer than usual and Elentari couldn’t help but wonder if she should have stuck to what she had prepared.

As soon as she was back in her quarters and she heard the door close, she waved a hand. “I know, I know, it wasn’t what I prepared. I just…” Elentari shook her head as she looked at Shao. “I couldn’t say it. And I figured I had nothing left to lose by saying exactly what I thought.”

“No denying that was from the heart. And it might be just what the Admirals needed to hear,” Shao’s expression was thoughtful as he rubbed his chin. “Scuttlebutt says that batarians are showing up to the Citadel in droves. High and low caste. Some have even shown up on Earth, but mostly lower caste. Everyone’s been screened, some fancy new scanner tech from some company.”

At Shao’s knowing look, Elentari felt a wave of relief. Thank fucking God, spirits, whatever that Qui’in wasn’t wasting time on that front. It would help, but how long precisely Earth and even the Citadel would be safe for, she really couldn’t say. Then she suddenly noticed Shao was standing at attention. What the hell was — 

“Commander Shepard, is there anything I can do to help you fight the Reapers?”

For a moment, all Elentari could do was stare at Shao. Was this man serious? He was her damned lawyer and shouldn’t be sticking himself out there like this. “I’m guessing you don’t give a shit about conflict of interest suddenly?”

Shao chuckled. “Oh, I do. But there are a lot of reports coming in that corroborate what a lot of the batarian refugees are saying, plus the weird conflicting messages from the Hegemony initially and now almost three straight months of radio silence? I’d be a damned fool to not see the stormclouds coming right at us. So I am sincerely asking you, Commander Shepard, how can I help you fight the Reapers?”

It honestly took Elentari a moment to get her tongue working again. “Talk to Admiral Anderson, helping him out would be the best bet. I can’t suggest more than that at the moment, since Anderson is the one doing what I can’t. And honestly, with the deliberations happening now, the last thing we need is Fieller calling for a retrial because you’re biased and conflict of interest and all that shit.”

“I’ll be discreet, don’t worry. I’ll get in touch with Anderson as soon as I can. And Commander? I just wanted you to know, it’s been my honour and privilege to defend you during this trial.”

“I should be thanking you. I know my case couldn’t have been an easy one,” Elentari offered her hand, giving a firm handshake. “But if I can ask you one thing: what did Joker mean when he said his own results were pending?”

“Moreau was benched after your death and the destruction of the SR-1. Moreau didn’t handle your death well and was near the end of his paid leave when he went AWOL. It took awhile to track him down, he was surprisingly good at covering his tracks. It did him no favours that he went to work for Cerberus. I believe Moreau’s saving grace is that he’s the only person who can voice activate commands on the SR-2. Helps to keep him around and have the ship functional.”

“I see,” Elentari knew it was irrational, but she didn’t think she could be any prouder of EDI at this very moment. “I’d hate for Joker to get a rawer deal than me.”

“Jeff Moreau is well known for his arrogance and disdain, but he truly is one the most exemplary helmsmen in the fleet. Also helps that he has an insane amount of talent and an even more insane amount of flight hours logged. I suspect his own trial will turn out favourably. And Lieutenant Vega?” when James snapped to attention, Shao gave a grin. “You’re still a very admirable rock.”

“Sir!”

Elentari watched as James snapped out a perfect salute as Shao tucked his datapad under his arm and finally bid them good night. Elentari gave a salute as well, not fighting her own grin. James was quiet as she went to the fridge, rummaging about. Where were those — 

“So now we just sit and wait, huh?”

It took her a moment, to straighten up, finding James looking thoughtful. Elentari half leaned on the open fridge door and shrugged. 

“It’s all been said, all been explained and fucking then some. It’s up to the Admirals if they believe it or not. Besides, waiting is one of the perils of guard duty.”

James huffed a laugh, coming to the fridge door to peer in absently. “I dunno. You sure the peril isn’t you? I mean, you ran off the first guard, scared the shit out of me that one morning…”

“Bah,” Elentari waved a hand as she spotted her quarry and started pulling things out. “That guy was a pompous ass who enjoyed calling me traitor and Cerberus scum way too much. So it was dealt with.”

“You know,” James said slowly. “I don’t think I really wanna know how you pulled it out.”

“It’s amazing what people will infer from someone just staring them down. In silence. Without blinking for long stretches of time.” Elentari paused, trying to recall how that idiot guard had reacted. “Also helps if you don’t move too much.”

“That’s all you did?” James sounded torn between incredulous belief and suspicion.”Nothing else?”

“What can I say? It’s not my fault that he took my presence to be a ‘continued and deliberate threat against his personal safety.’ In reality, I just wanted the asshole to shape up and leave me alone. Not to mention, half the damn time he was in my way when I just wanted to go get some lunch.”

James dissolved into laughter. “Are you telling me you hangry stared the guy into quitting?”

All she did was shrug, handing off the handful of things to James. “I can neither confirm or deny that. But I will ask if you know how to make guac.”

“That I can do,” James managed as he set up. “All I know is that you’re intimidating as fuck all boyfriend asked me to keep an eye out for you. And not to point fingers but you kinda skimped on breakfast this morning. So what are we doing with the guac?”

“Uh,” Elentari quickly looked through the fridge. “Burrito bowls? There’s some left over cilantro rice. I can refry some beans… I think there;s enough tomatoes here for guac and salsa verde.” She grabbed the items, closing the fridge with a gentle kick. “And when did Garrus say that?”

“Elevator ride down. But he phrased it all official like, just in case,” James’ voice went low and gravelly. “Please ensure we don’t loose the best asset we have.”

The laughter pealed out of her before she could stop herself. James looked chagrined but still Elentari couldn’t help herself. “I have got to be there when Garrus sees your impersonation of him!”

“What? No way am I ever doing that in front of Garrus Vakarian.”

“Spoilsport,” Elentari bumped his shoulder with hers. “I’ll tell on you.”

“Then I’ll keep my dignity and you’ll just be a snitch.” James bumped hers back. 

“Oh, low blow!” Elentari chuckled.

“And I tell you what,” James glanced at her, expression positively sly. “You don’t mention my terrible impersonation and I don’t tell him about the time you dropped that silent nuke fart in the elevator and pretended like nothing happened.”

Damn it, he had her there. But stiil… “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Right,” James drawled. “Now if we could just weaponise that swamp stench…”

“I think you need to concentrate because I don’t want a finger in my guac.” Elentari said primly.

“Uh huh. Right.” James looked far too smug. “Fingerless guac, coming up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last bit is [all because of this post](https://amassingeffect.tumblr.com/post/171957110577/thepunchingbag-shepard-being-under-house-arrest).


	20. Klaxon

With no court to attend and Shepard’s final written statements submitted, the days started to blend together. Wake up, workout, get dressed, courtyard trip. Then breakfast would happen and the datapads always emerged. The stylus would come out usually about fifteen minutes later and Shepard would be practicing, practicing, practicing. Her Khelish looked like it was improving by leaps and bound. Thevox, speaking issue aside, was coming along as well.

James himself was finally making a dent in his own reading too, not that it stopped Shepard from constantly sending him her finished books. Honestly, how did her head not explode from all the reading and just retaining all the info? And how did she keep finding the time to keep asking him questions, like the scenario game was fun. Theoretical situation, figure out the best plan and execution. James could see it for what it was: tactical development. And coming from an N7, he knew this was as good as gold. 

But when Shepard had hinted that maybe he should try a language, James balked. Galactic Standard was fine but how many other things was she trying to cram into his head. 

“Never hurts to be prepared,” Shepard looked up at him. “Most people who grew up on the Citadel speak Standard and then their species language plus another. You already got two Earth languages. Trust me, if your translator fritzes out in the middle of a fight, it pays to know just how your enemy wants to kill you. Why do you think I’m bothering to learn asari words and phrases at the least.”

James groaned. “Can you just stop being right? Jesus, my brain feels like info soup. Gonna dribble out my ears and I won’t remember shit.”

“Did you not learn to study or something?” Shepard laughed but she stopped when James didn’t reply. “Alright, crash course time. C’mon time to study how to study.”

James had to give it Shepard, she’d drag his ass kicking and screaming if that’s what it took. And she was really good at the whole studying thing. Had a whole plan and it suddenly made sense why she was saying everything out loud. Apparently it helped it stick in her brain. The highlight of the week was an unexpected visit from Anderson, who had a ton of questions.

“Shepard, are there any other plans that I need to know of?”

“Nothing urgent that really comes to mind, like Abjure.” Shepard didn’t miss a beat. “Why, what’s up?”

“A damned waiting list a mile long of batarian refugees, willing to undergo any testing and scans for safe harbour. And just this morning, something pinged sensors leaving the Kite’s Nest. Something big and fast.”

That got Shepard’s attention. Her datapad was tossed onto the desk, her full attention on Anderson. “Qui’in wildfired Abjure.”

“It’s done. The VI is mobile and with your agent. The handheld units have been deployed to the admirals, only Hackett really knows what it is. The official line is that it’s a scanner patch to add some basic med functionality. Viruses, neurological conditions, things like that. The batarian refugees we’re mostly getting are former slaves… they seem confused that the tests aren’t worse.”

“The really desperate came to Earth. What’s it like on the Citadel?”

“Fine for the moment. Decided uptick in people applying to immigrate to the station. It’s only get worse from here on in. And curiously enough, the Hierarchy made us an offer a few months ago: Thanix cannons just above cost for the Alliance fleet.”

James couldn’t help but whistle. Those things had some punch from what he saw of the specs, but the cost would leave anyone thinking twice and then some. Shepard seemed to be considering something, chewing on her lower lip gently.

“Okay, I have to message two other people. When I hear back from then, I’ll onboard you for two other projects.”

“Two others?” Anderson sounded surprised. “How many projects do you have, Shepard?”

“Ever heard of Kumun Shol?” 

“Who hasn’t?” James found both Shepard and Anderson looking at him. “That guy’s been digging on Klencory for twenty years now,” he was about to say that the guy was a crackpot. But looking at Shepard, he went with, “You think he maybe has something?”

“Possibly. His latest report says their scans have turned up subterranean structures. But that was a week before we hit the Omega relay. I’d need to check in with him and with Chorban.”

“Do it,” Anderson brought up his omni-tool. “Temporary clearance access so you can do it from here. I’ve got five million and one things to do still. Anything you can think of, I don’t care if it’s three in the goddamn morning, you let me know.”

“Will do, sir.” Shepard nodded as she picked up her datapad once more.

Anderson left with a nod and as soon as the door closed, James didn’t miss a beat. “What is Shol’s deal exactly?”

“He says that beings of lights told him to seek the lost crypts. There’s something there to protect organic life. Everyone thinks it’s a wild goose chase. I decided to give him something way more helpful.”

“Creds?” James guessed.

“Creds,” she confirmed with a nod. “God knows it’s a money pit, but gotta pay those krogan anyhow.”

“Hey, how come you never wanted to learn krogan?” 

“I know enough to get the point across. ‘Fight now’, ‘go die’, ‘fuck off’, ‘worthless salarian’, ‘I’ll slice off your quad and feed it to the varren’ and my personal fav, ‘I’ll piss on your bones’. Between that and my guns, it’s enough.”

“Charming,” James drawled. “I gotta up my shit talking game.”

“I once had someone tell me to go suck down a pisspot. Never got the rest of it though.”

“There was more?”

“I guess. It was during the Elysium push and it was a pirate. I responded by shooting them through the eye and then using them as a battering ram through an old fashioned door.”

Damn, James would really never be half as cool as Shepard. “Got any more war stories?”

“Yeah, why the hell not.” Shepard grinned. “Wanna hear about the time Toombs and I dropped into an extraction zone and I basically bounced off a mountain?”

___________________________________________________

“Shopping time," James paused by the door "Last chance for anything in particular.”

“Uh,” Shepard paused for a moment. “If they have any more ice cream…”

“And one shitty flavour. No helping some people I guess.” He sighed dramatically.

Shepard waved him off with a grin and a “Bah!” 

It was a bit later than usual, but they'd slept in a bit and the lazy morning had consisted of breakfast and long scenario game. Though the grin on James’s face slowly disappeared as he left the detention block and found himself dodging around people in a hurry. What the hell was going on for HQ to be in such a rush? He was waiting for the elevator when his omni-tool flashed with a priority message from Anderson. _‘Get Shepard to Courtroom Access. Defense Committee wants to speak with her. Will meet you en route.’_

Well, shit. He quickly made his way back, trying to fight that sinking feeling in his stomach. Shepard had last talked to Anderson only four days ago. When he walked back in, Shepard was leaning against the desk, datapad in hand. 

“Commander.” He found himself standing at attention as he saluted.

Shepard looked at him for a moment, brow furrowed. “You’re not supposed to call me that any more James.”

“Not supposed to salute you either,” James had fallen into habit before he really thought about it. And if this was what he suspected it was, Shepard was pretty much his commanding officer as of five minutes ago. “We gotta go, the Defense Committee wants to see you.”

“Sounds important,” Shepard tossed the datapad on the desk, rubbing at the bracelet on her wrist.

James didn’t waste time, turning to leave and forcing Shepard to catch up with him. He could hear her steps moving in a quick jog before she slowed down, matching his pace. 

“What’s going on?” she was looking around, even as people swerved around them now.

“Couldn’t say,” and honestly, James didn’t really want to. “Just told me that they needed you now.”

Worry settled on Shepard’s face as they walked. Even up ahead, James could see Anderson making his way to them. Shit, how bad was it if Anderson was coming to them instead of waiting? He fell back, letting them walk ahead a bit with the illusion of privacy. It was hard to miss a single word in the conversation, especially when he caught that Hackett was mobilizing the fleet. The sinking feeling in his gut plummeted when Shepard stopped at a short flight of steps and uttered a single word.

Reapers.

James didn’t know which was worse: hearing that it was the Reapers coming for them or Shepard stating the fact that they weren’t even close to ready. And damned if Shepard wasn’t pissed about everything because how else to explain her tone when she said,

“Oh, so that’s why they grounded me and my ship?”

Anderson didn’t miss a beat, pausing to face Shepard while angrily pointing a finger. “You know that’s not true. Shit you’ve done, any other soldier would have been tried, court-martialed and discharged. It’s your knowledge of the Reapers that kept that from happening.”

Well, this was a hell of a way to find out that Shepard beat her charges. 

“That and your good word?” Shepard asked, her voice relenting a bit.

“Yeah. I trust you,” Anderson sounded a bit weary now. “And so does the committee.”

An intent expression came to her face. “I’m just a soldier Anderson, not a politician.”

“I don’t need you to do that,” Anderson was walking again, both of them following in his wake. “I just need you to do whatever the hell it takes to help us stop the Reapers.”

It didn’t take long to reach Courtroom Access, where someone greeted them with a crisp, “They’re expecting you Admiral” and led them all into the main waiting area. For the first time in six months, James wasn’t going into that room with Shepard. Honestly, it felt really damned weird. Anderson was busy talking to the assistant who led them in, so James was grabbing this moment while he still could.

“Good luck in there Shepard,” James reached for her hand, a smile coming to his face as she shook it. Her eyes were steely determination. This was the Commander Shepard he’d seen in vids. “ _Lo tienes, sé que llegaras hasta el fin y terminaras el trabajo._ ”

She opened her mouth to say something but a familiar voice caught her attention as well as his. 

“Kaidan.” She turned away from James.

This was a far more personal show than the one he saw in court. Alenko was saying that he was waiting for orders and there was a truly awkward moment when Shepard found out that Alenko was a major now. There was a flicker of surprise on Alenko’s face, that was it. Why the guy thought Shepard would know was beyond James. 

The assistant was done waiting patiently, reminding Shepard and Anderson that the committee was still waiting. James got a flash of a smile, her smile gone as she gave Alenko a brief nod as she passed. James glanced over to see the small smile disappear from Alenko’s face. Ouch. James did not want to be the one to break the news about Garrus Vakarian to him. 

“You know the Commander?” James asked, immediately feeling like an idiot. Alenko had testified at her trial after all, they had a thing. Course the guy knew Shepard.

“I used to,” Alenko’s reply was quiet and thoughtful. “But that was a long while ago.”

All James did was nod, hoping the silence would be enough and maybe Alenko would leave. No dice though, since now Alenko was looking at him. 

“Has the Commander been alright?”

Be a rock, be a goddamn rock. James looked Alenko right in the eye and said, “Yes, sir,” But because he’d sometimes just had to get his two damn creds in, “Never known a court-martial to be fun though.” 

Alenko made a small sound of assent. “It’s been a circus from day one. And you've been guarding her since day one too.”

There was definitely no disguising the way he looked to the courtroom door or the tone to his voice. Shit, James really didn’t want to know how he’d take the news about Vakarian and Shepard.

“Sir,” James saluted. Stick to protocol and definitely don't get involved in this. “Just doing my job.”

“Thank you. And Lieutenant—”

Whatever Alenko had been about to say vanished as his face twisted into a grimace. Hell, even James was wincing. It sounded like someone had cranked up the hum of electricity enough to scrape along nerves. As he glanced around a few people were wincing as well, hands clapped over ears as if it would block out the sound. But there was a throng of people at the window. 

He found himself heading over, vaguely registering Alenko’s presence beside him. There was something he wanted to say, something he had to do. Move, get to Shepard, get fucking moving. His body was saying to move even as he stared at the sky and his brain struggled with what it was seeing.

This wasn’t a corpse being dragged away by batarian ships, or even the shaky vids from the Battle of the Citadel from three years ago. 

These were actual Reapers descending on Earth.

Not just one, but many. The impact of their landing was felt, a dull shockwave that made the building rumble. That seemed to get people moving. But all James could see was the halo of a red laser, the line barrelling right towards them. He didn’t even think, tackling Alenko and hoping, praying that they somehow survived.

The world exploded, shrapnel flying as something hit his head and it all went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap. _Prepare The Iron Helm of War_ is done. I do want to thank you all for sticking with it and for all the lovely comments. Also, please send some love to _[belisama's](https://belisama26.tumblr.com/)_ way, because without their help, James and Shepard would totally sound like extremely literal Google translate bots. LOL
> 
> Now, if you're a mite salty with me about the ending, I really don't blame you. However, I am taking a small break to play Mass Effect: Andromeda and to sort out/draft up nebulous ideas for a second part that would span ME3. Not too sure if I want to keep with the current format (mainly James' POV with some chapters from Shepard's POV) or switch over solely to Shepard. 
> 
>  Feel free to drop me a line over on [my tumblr](www.amassingeffect.tumblr.com), to just weigh in or chat.


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